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player
March 15th, 2009, 07:13 PM
This joke has been going around, but I never heard the extended version before! -

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

(That's usually it, but sometimes the theme develops..)

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

tjcurtin1
March 15th, 2009, 07:29 PM
HA! That was great, thanks! Who's the clever soul who came up with that?!

oldguy
March 15th, 2009, 07:57 PM
Mark, that was a good one!:D

Ch0jin
March 15th, 2009, 09:38 PM
Ooops. Translation fail...

Not many people in Australia would be too familiar with the term "Fifth" as it pertains to Alcohol I'd say. I reckon I might have actually first heard it from that Eminem track "Stan". "I drank a fifth of Vodka, dare me to drive?"

I've actually even heard Australians mention "Pleading the fifth" which is actually impossible under Australian law because we don't actually have a fifth amendment.....

Great joke otherwise though;)

player
March 16th, 2009, 10:24 PM
Trust me it was not the rapper that thought that up.have a friend who is a creative whiz with lyrics,prose and jokes.I'll pass along any compliments.was pretty good with lyrics myself long ago.never got into the joke scene but guess should have.I thought it good too or would not have put it up. :D

Ch0jin
March 16th, 2009, 10:51 PM
Trust me it was not the rapper that thought that up.have a friend who is a creative whiz with lyrics,prose and jokes.I'll pass along any compliments.was pretty good with lyrics myself long ago.never got into the joke scene but guess should have.I thought it good too or would not have put it up. :D

No doubt. I'm just saying the phrase "fifth" as it relates to a quantity of liquid is unknown in my part of the world.