can't explain this pain (new song)

[pes_laul]

http://www.box.net/shared/fdfj50jxfe

hey folks this a new turn. it's one of my new "heavier" songs

my vocal instructor taught me how to do the little kurt cobainish screams I do they need work but they are comiong.

My dad played a really awsome drum line and I did everything else (even harmonys)

the guitar is done on my friends les paul

constructive critisizm is appreciated

[street music]

Pes,
Man what a great job you did ! I really like it and it's not really my type of song but you did very well. Hats off to your Dad-Great drums.
I think you should be proud on the project and I can only imagine how well it would be with your full band, CONGRATS.

[pes_laul]

thanks street

like I said I would like to hear what you guys hear and some constructive criticism

[sunvalleylaw]

I like Cobain inspired stuff. I liked his work. Not his life so much, but his work. I liked particularly his primal scream. I like your vocal and it is getting there. You are developing your own sound. If you want Cobain's sound, I think you need less directly from your gut and more pushed through a constricted throat, (like I know what I am talking about or that that makes any sense) but it is probably better to develop your own way of expressing that primal stuff anyway. Your guitar work is coming nicely too, I hear that cobain in the beginning riff. But I would make the licks and phrases in the solo part end in screams more too. Like bending up to a note that screams that pain you are talking about and let that note sustain there longer before moving on. I hope some of that makes some sort of sense, and it is meant constructively. I hope it is of some help.

(EDIT: I want to make sure you understand that I also am blown away by your progress and the where you have come in a short time. I was just trying to give constructive thoughts as you asked. Great job! :rockon: :AOK: )

[pes_laul]

I like Cobain inspired stuff. I liked his work. Not his life so much, but his work. I liked particularly his primal scream. I like your vocal and it is getting there. You are developing your own sound. If you want Cobain's sound, I think you need less directly from your gut and more pushed through a constricted throat, (like I know what I am talking about or that that makes any sense) but it is probably better to develop your own way of expressing that primal stuff anyway. Your guitar work is coming nicely too, I hear that cobain in the beginning riff. But I would make the licks and phrases in the solo part end in screams more too. Like bending up to a note that screams that pain you are talking about and let that note sustain there longer before moving on. I hope some of that makes some sort of sense, and it is meant constructively. I hope it is of some help.
yeah I know what you mean but lol if you notice before I really start getting into the solo it just goes poopy then picks up again.

[bigoldron]

Young Dude, that totally RAWKS!!! :dude: :rockon:

I'm not a big metal fan, but I do recognize talent when I hear it and you do seem to have a good bit of it! We're all proud of the progress you've made and the material you're turning out, so keep up the good work. :AOK:

You know, I might even have to stop kidding you about the Jonas Brothers... :D :poke:

I don't know what advice I can give as you've obviously passed me a long time ago. The only thing I can say is keep practicing and working those chops - guitar and vocal. You're definitely getting there! :AOK: :bravo:

[just strum]

Very good Young Dude (I guess it's almost time to stop calling you that).

I listened to the recording and started wondering, could this actually be the same guy???

http://www.thefret.net/showthread.php?t=3472

Well, done and keep progressing.

[pes_laul]

Very good Young Dude (I guess it's almost time to stop calling you that).

I listened to the recording and started wondering, could this actually be the same guy???

http://www.thefret.net/showthread.php?t=3472

Well, done and keep progressing.
thanks strum I think Ive come a long way since then

[just strum]

thanks strum I think Ive come a long way since then

No thinking about it - you have and it's been fun watching and hearing your progress.

[Kazz]

I can definitely hear the Nirvana influence in this song......my only complaint is the vocal is so much louder than the guitars. Songwise I dig it.

[Robert]

Cool! Good job, pes. I think it needs more bass, it sounds a bit thin.

You're on the right track, just keep recording, you get better at this stuff all the time at your age as you continue to practice, write songs and record.

Nice solo, mate! Right on. Loved that chorus guitar too.

[aeolian]

Excellent effort! The vocals are very good and the guitar playing is impressive. Pes Laul plays a mean Les Paul!

[Jimi75]

You know what I like about your track? It's real, real music played by real people, no programmed computer stuff with zero emotions! Your dad played a great drum indeed and the LP sounds great. I would turn the guitar louder so that the dynamic changes come through a little more. Your voice still breaks at times. Learn what your vocal coach teaches you, but when you record and sing let things flow natural and forget about technique. If you practice then technique will become a natural thing and things start sounding good when you don't have to think like "oh, no I try this new cobain scremaing technique". Be in the song, be convinced of what you sing!

All in all, great job! Go on with your work my friend!

:rockon:
:AOK:

[Blaze]

Well done Pes . nice voice , a little off sometimes but in the right feel for this song..
I would say from my experience , try to find melody in your guitar solos ,don t be to scalish like we all do ..You re father is excellent btw.

Most important , playin or recording music with your father is so awesome,i guess that s what music is all about ,you re lucky not a lot of people can live this rare moment..
I did with my son here in this clip, Sans Nous(c) (http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7482369) , obviously not the same music style ..A original french song about a father & in his son missing each other..
My friend René wrote the lyrics , i composed & played the music..



keep on goin , bravo :bravo:

[Guitarist327]

3 words.

I luv it.
best song i heard all day.
Great job.