Ok, SVL... snake stories...

[Childbride]

Dad’s Story


Growing up as a kid on a working cattle ranch, Dad had chores at 4 a.m. and more chores immediately upon getting home from school… while there was still daylight.

But when chores were done and the world was his, he grabbed either a gun or a fishing rod and took off for the pasture.

This particular summer day, it was hot and dry… Dad opted for the gun. A shotgun, to be specific. The pasture really needed mowing, so Dad further opted for traveling along the creek bed that runs diagonally across the ranch to get where he planned to hunt.

My father was 6’4ish. In this particular section of creek bed, he couldn’t see over on either side.

As he was striding along, musing to himself, he came across the biggest cottonmouth he had ever seen, sunning itself on a rock.

Instinctively, he whipped the gun to his shoulder and pulled the trigger.

Now, a shotgun blast is pretty loud, and it reverberated down the bed.

Suddenly, out of countless holes in the banks that my father noticed for the first time…

Come more, by the legions. Dad swears there had to be a hundred of them.

He desperately searches his memory banks for what to do in this type of situation, and remembers what his father told him.

Do Not Move. Period.

He stood in that creek bed, frozen in position as they slithered over his boots and all around him, for over an hour.

He said he never tried that stunt again.

[Childbride]

[Preface—the original version of this story is four pages long. I’m hacking it up.]

The Ultimate Fish Story

Saturday of Mother’s Day weekend, 1996, I ate supper with my brother and gram… Gram and I decided to go fishing after, while my brother opted to go hunting in a different direction on the ranch.

Gram and I got to the tank. I cracked a beer, Gram spun the feeder out in the middle of the bridge… the pellets hit the glassy, still water… and it was time to fish.

Gram elected to bobber fish for cats from the bridge. I chose to lure fish for bass, and cast up and down the bank. Things are going well; I had caught my first bass about 7 p.m. it was a 3.5 pounder, for sure… stringered it up, and immediately got another strike on a bass about the same size. Got it up to the bank, was making the last ditch pull to flop it up onto the mud, when I pulled the lure right out of its mouth… it flops twice and is gone in an arrogant comma of muddy water. I’m hopping mad, saying things I hope Gram can’t hear, and slinging my lure around like some demented gremlin, when I realize

“the fish are hungry. If you bait him, he will come…”

About that time, my brother appears from a copse of mesquite, waves at me, and joins Gram on the bridge, approximately 150’ from where I stood.

And it was just that very second that I felt a weight on my foot.

I froze, instinctively—and rolled my eyeballs down slowly, slowly—to see the biggest cottonmouth I had ever seen on my left boot. She looks at me [fliiiiittt goes her tongue, as she observes me coldly] and I look at her…

About this time, another part of my brain hears my gram excitedly calling to my brother… “Look at the size of THAT monster… there goes another one, over by the stump…” as they observe a nest of snakes coming up to feed on the fish who are surfacing for the feeder pellets

My eyes roll back down to my boot tips, which just touch the water. In quick succession pop up three more heads… momma’s young uns.

I can’t scream, I can’t move, all I can hear is my Dad telling me to REMAIN COMPLETELY FROZEN STILL.

Suddenly, a shotgun blast rips across the tank as my brother starts shooting snakes.

I of course jerk. Snake coils up on boot like a bullwhip. Another KABBBLAAM and I jerk again. She’s weaving and bobbing now. I close my eyes and start saying my rosary on speed dial, trying to remember how far it is to the hospital.

Some indeterminate time later, the babies swim off for my stringered bass…

Some indeterminate time after that, momma starts to slide off after them.

I dropped my rod and ran, I couldn’t help it, my nerve had broken.

I was running like Carl Lewis until I heard Gram calling me.

[o @#%&, she’s coming straight for a nest with an angry momma]

I stop, try not to throw up on my boots, catch my breath, and yell for her not to move.

I swallow several times, make my way back, inching along the fence line with my back to the barbed wire until I get back to the truck, and the guns. I take my brother more shells.

[He needs LOTS more shells… I feel like Roy Scheider in Jaws when he says “we’re going to need a bigger boat”]

And then I hear my brother say something so incredible I believe I’ve totally lost my mind, or that this is all just some horrific dream.

“I gotta shoot one and stick it up in the tree so it will rain.”

I looked at him like he had just told me that if he danced naked in the middle of the mall on Monday, purple ducks would come to live in my yard.

Sure enough, he starts KABBLAAMMING away at more snakes… which are sssing their way across the water like silent, deadly, living torpedoes.

The problem with his plan, of course, is that when you shoot a snake, it sinks… so he walks over to the nearest mesquite and starts swinging like apeboy on one of the lower branches until it cracks off… he has something that looks like a six-foot backscratcher, and walks up to the edge of the water, stirring about like Betty Crocker [the gun is on the ground BEHIND HIM and I am thinking this is an Inherently Bad Idea

When like some malignant jack-in-the-box, a cottonmouth head the size of your closed fist pops up directly by his right hand and I scream, and scream, and scream, and scare him so badly he drops his stick, which now has a five-foot cottonmouth swirled around it in a lover’s embrace, and KABLAAAM he shoots it, but it’s not dead… he flips it up onto the bank, and it comes off that stick and goes after him… brother picks up the stick and does this incredible spear hunter imitation and stabs it three times… he picks it up and puts it up in the tree… and I’m on the verge of fainting at this point… I fall on my butt on the bridge, and another four-footer is looking up at me from between the planks… I’m convinced I’m in some bizarre Alfred Hitchcock movie entitled “the Snakes”…

My brother shot four more…

I slept with my boots on all night.

[ibanezjunkie]

this is why im glad i live in england...

the only snakes around here are in glass boxes in the japanese Koi Centre.

[marnold]

That's why I thank heavens for cold Wisconsin winters. The only relatively scary things that can survive up here are bears and wolves and they're pretty easy to spot :) After that story, it remains to be seen if I'm going to sleep tonight.

[Katastrophe]

Wow, CB, interesting and scary stories to be sure.

We used to have a lake house on Lake Livingston. I was walking in an adjacent lot to ours, barefoot, on a summer day. I was about 12 or 13. I felt something brush against my foot and looked down. It was a water moccasin, about 3 feet long, crawling alongside my bare foot.

I stood stock still until it crawled away. I still get the heebee jeebies just thinking about it.

We had so many snakes in the water by our pier that Mom would sit outside at night with her shotgun and blast away.

[just strum]

I have snakes all over my yard and in my ponds, plus to make matters worse, my son has one in his room.

I HATE SNAKES!!!

I find mowing the lawn thins them out and the birds love dead snake.

[marnold]

Not safe for work, but still apropos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bGv6Ijf1aU

[ibanezjunkie]

i like snakes, milk snakes, rat snakes, boas, pythons etc, but to my eyes, this just isnt fun.

http://pictureloaders.com/images/texas-snakes-pictures-cottonmouth.jpg


he/she looks seriously p!ssed off.

[Childbride]

ours look more like this:

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m159/luvmyshiner/cottonmouth-snake.jpg

[Spudman]

What a creepy story CB. I used to have dreams like that when I lived in Mississippi. I'm so glad I live where I do now because snakes are rare - deadly snakes are rare that is.

One time in Mississippi my 3 cousins and myself took a car hood down to the pond next to my house and floated on it like a boat. We left the hood there and went back a few days later to once again go float on the pond in the car hood. We were all around 8 years old at the time. When we got back to shore we thought we'd flip the hood over to prevent water from accumulating in it and when we did out from under the corner brace fell a water moccasin. We were out on the pond the whole time with that snake right next to us and we never even knew it! I could just imagine how fast we'd have jumped overboard if it would have come out. We probably would have gotten in even more trouble than we did for just floating 4 of us on the pond.

[oldguy]

Good stories, CB. Poisonous snakes are bad news.
There may be more snake stories to tell soon, at least for our Fretters who live down south in the U.S.

It's scary to think of what may happen as the pythons continue to spread across the southern U.S.

http://www.planetark.com/enviro-news/item/53129

I hope people start hunting them before they spread over the entire south. There's quite a large area they could thrive in, and reproduce.

http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/images/2008-2-20/map_climatematch.jpg

[luvmyshiner]

OG, they have an annual rattlesnake roundup in Oglesbay (about 30 miles from Waco) in February or March of each year. I've never been though (I hate snakes). They have teams that compete to see who can catch the most rattlesnakes. Then they cook em.:messedup:

[bigoldron]

OG, they have an annual rattlesnake roundup in Oglesbay (about 30 miles from Waco) in February or March of each year. I've never been though (I hate snakes). They have teams that compete to see who can catch the most rattlesnakes. Then they cook em.:messedup:

They have a Rattlesnake Roundup in Whigham GA (about 35 mile East of here) every year. The ironic thing about this one is that the fairground is next door to the city cemetery. :thwap:

[sumitomo]

Yea I know about them rattlers,growing up in California,I came very close to being bit many times but atleast you can hear them,In South America where I was they have the Lancehead vipers and they just lie in wait in the grass close to trails and are very agressive.In the jungle I walked with a bamboo stick and used it flipping it in front of where I was walking.I did not want to get bit by one of those,I have only one kidney and didnt want to lose it,their venom is strong.Gotta think like a snake in snake territory.Sumi:D

[piebaldpython]

Poor lil cottonmouths. Boo-hoo. Snakes sense so much by feel. No doubt they "felt" the shotgun blasts and that set them to come out for a look-sy. :rotflmao:

I showed BC the stories and she had a good laugh. They have an annual copperhead roundup in Central PA.

We have 7 snakes. Four different variety of corn snakes and 3 ball pythons.....along with 3 Northern Australian blue-tongue skinks, 1 leopard gecko and 2 crested geckos.

[sunvalleylaw]

Yikes!! Them's scary stories!! I grew up where the only snakes we ever saw were those itty bitty gardner snakes. Where I live now, in Hailey, there are dens of rattlers in certain parts of the side canyons, and on one particular mountain bike ride I enjoy in those parts. Once they are seen in spring, I go on that ride only in the morning before it is warm, and I only bike. No running, no dogs out there after the snakes are out for the summer. I also don't like to go alone. The first one I saw out there (actually, I didn't see it, I just heard it, sat there and rattled on the side of the double track trail I was riding. I could hear it a bit off the trail. I am not sure what possessed me then, but I listened, and very slowly pedaled up, way on the other side of the double track road from it, and when I got alongside, sped on by. As soon as I was by, the snake stopped rattling. I did not see any others that ride, but now I take precautions as I mentioned above. Typically, the trails north of those two side canyons in Hailey don't have snakes, but last summer, a few were reportedly seen farther north. I hope that climate change or whatever does not spread 'em.

[oldguy]

OG, they have an annual rattlesnake roundup in Oglesbay (about 30 miles from Waco) in February or March of each year. I've never been though (I hate snakes). They have teams that compete to see who can catch the most rattlesnakes. Then they cook em.:messedup:

I've seen that on the news. That's not a bad way to thin 'em out. At least a rattler will (usually) give you a warning buzz w/ its tail. Cottonmouths and copperheads just strike and then glare at you.

[ZMAN]

My only Snake story came many years ago when we used to Camp in the Parry Sound area in Northern Ontario. At the campground there was an information centre and it had an exhibit on the Massasauga Rattlesnake.
So we would know one if we saw one and avoid it.
One day my brother in law spotted a small lake with a large parking area that had been made when they cleared the granite for the road to the park.
We decided to take a couple of beers and do some fishing. We set up our lawn chairs and proceeded to fish. After a couple of beers sitting in the hot sun we both dozed off. I awoke when I felt something bump my foot.
I opened my eyes to find about 50 very large snakes sunning themselved all around us. When I moved a couple of them vanished into the cracks on the ground. I woke my brotherinlaw and he jumped up and was ready to run to the car. I stood up and the rest of them immediately disappeared. We later found out they were Rat Snakes and were not poisonous. They can grow to 2.7 metres, about 6 feet. I guess they lived in the rubble that was under the parking lot. We of course at first thought they were Rattlers.
I must admit it was an amazing thing to wake up to.

[sumitomo]

Man Zman bet you both had to go home to change your shorts!!I know I would.Sumi:D

[oldguy]

Big rattler. These guys don't look scared, tho.:D

http://www.thefret.net/imagehosting/thum_1154a5b596ade08d.jpg (http://www.thefret.net/vbimghost.php?do=displayimg&imgid=1183)

[ibanezjunkie]

hey ZMAN...

i like rat snakes :D

[Childbride]

thanks for reading my stories, y'all...

and let me say that in my 39 years, it takes very odd weather phenoms and rodent population issues to create that number/that size of snakes at the ranch; it was not a common thing. at all.

when i was very young, and my father was fishing w/us at the tank, he would whistle when he caught a fish. the three of us took turns dropping our rod to go retrieve said fish and stringer it.

one whistle meant fish. two meant snake.

another lovely [not] factoid about the texas cottonmouth [aka water moccasin] is that they climb trees. gram has several very old, tall mesquites in her front yard that were often the backdrop for pictures, as she entertained constantly. every now and again, whomever was taking photos would turn green and mention that there was an extra head in the shot.

zman... i think i would have needed adult undergarments just from the shock. i actually love rat snakes, grass snakes, pythons... i took a grass snake to show and tell in the fourth grade, much to my teacher's intense dismay.

fangs... we don't do rattlers, copperheads, cottonmouths, coral snakes... nothing steve irwinish.

[Tynee]

I was listening to CNN the other day, and heard the story of the family that walked into the room where their 2 year old girl was sleeping, and found her dead and partially eaten by the family's pet python. For the life of me, I'll never understand keeping a pet who's nature is to kill you, but that's just my little quirk I guess.

[Kazz]

Pie is not going to like this...but the only good snake is the one that ends up on a pair of boots.

[piebaldpython]

Oh Kazz, dude, that one hurts!!! ;)

BC is feeding one of our ball pythons and her menagerie of lizards as I type.

My Dad never liked cats. He always used to say......"...that the only good cat is a flat cat." ;)

Reptiles in general and snakes in particular are an acquired taste. Once you get past whatever fears you have, they are fun and therapuetic too. Having one of our snakes gently wrapping and moving around my arms is even better than accupressure. Truly it is.

What happened to that girl in FLA is a tragedy and most likely an example of negligent pet care by the owner. Our reptiles NEVER get out of their containers.

[sunvalleylaw]

So Pie, are you a parsel tongue then? ;-)

[ibanezjunkie]

i like snakes, if i could afford the mega vivariums/terrariums id have many.


Boas are cool.


wouldnt mind a cottonmouth actually, then i could say to people, shut up cus ive got something in my room that will kill you.

[tunghaichuan]

Did I ever relate my experience with %&$#$%@# snakes on a %&$#$%@# plane? :rotflmao:

tung

[piebaldpython]

So Pie, are you a parsel tongue then? ;-)

SVL.....is this the Harry Potter or Monty Python reference??
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=parseltongue

See, you darn lawyers with your ambiguities of language (:rotflmao: ). Be precise!!! (Said with tongue firmly in cheek lest anyone think me serious. Perish the thought. :D )

'Nez.......the terrariums/enclosures aren't terribly expensive if you shop around. They are no different than gits....you can pay $ or $$$$.

BOAS are cool......BUT.......before you buy any snake, you better darn well know how BIG and/or THICK it will get at maturity. Our corn snakes will max out at 5-6 ft and maybe 1-1.5 inches around. Our ball pythons will max out at 4.5 ft and a thicker than the corns. BOAS wildly vary in size depending on the species. So, anywhere from 8-15 ft.

Not sure if you were just joshing about the cottonmouth or not, so here goes.....they are HOT (poisonous) snakes and IMHO should not be in anyone's home unless the owner REALLY knows what they are doing. And I do mean REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. One screw-up and it's curtains for you......either DEAD or in MAJOR health problems.

My daughter is fabulous with all reptiles and she herself says NO WAY am I messing with a HOT snake. DEAD or MAIMED/DISFIGURED is irreversible.

[sunvalleylaw]

Pie, I was just throwing out the Harry Potter reference because I am taking my older son to the new movie tomorrow, and Harry is known as one who can communicate with snakes in the books. One of the things that makes him controversial in Rowling's world in the books. I would love to see someone else's pet snakes or pythons, but would not take on the responsibility myself.

[bigoldron]

wouldnt mind a cottonmouth actually, then i could say to people, shut up cus ive got something in my room that will kill you.


How old are you really, 11, 12? What color is the sky in your world? Do you actually use your brain before you type? Hello, anybody there?