Do you need to fight to get to play music in-house?

[deeaa]

Just thought of this with another thread...I wonder how hard it is usually for people to fight with their family members to be able to play/make/sing music when people are at home, etc. Because I can't do it at _all_.

I mean, for me at least it's night impossible to do any of that when anybody else is home, because both the wife and kid start to yell at me to be quiet if I try to play any. Especially guitar playing irks them immensely, any bends or repetitive licks even from unplugged guitar very quickly receive comments to get the hell outta here if you wanna wank that plank like that. The result being I only play in the band practice and I never ever practice playing guitar otherwise.

I have my 'studio' in the basement, but even when I work there I get these angry looks if someone's home...there he is again, wasting his time with the crappy music hobbies...they quite strongly and obviously feel I should not do any music stuff but spend that time too with the family.

It's quite OK to go to band practice though, as long as it's like once a week for a few hours...any longer sessions etc. start to receive quite a resistance. It's funny, my wife has no objections if I say I'm going off to some forest trip for 2 days to drink with my buddies, but if I have a gig one night she might even get pissed about it. (I never go out to bars etc...I think I have gone out to town/a bar like 3 times the past year in the evening, maybe 3 times in the daytime to eat a pizza or something...usually I'm always home, but still.)

Also...well, I've made like 30 demos and many many releases, but my family members couldn't care less and they never want to listen to the music I make. Even though my wife likes the same music I do, Foo Fighters etc. she never wants to hear what I'm up to. The last 3 albums I released, she hasn't even looked at the covers AFAIK. I just spent a few hours coming up with a new logo for a new band T-shirt and she said 'it's Ok, I just hope I don't have to stare at it like every day or so'.

I can understand the singing part, I sing quite loudly, like this for instance (a miracle I got thru a full song before someone stopped me): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Wop-fGfSY but it's hard to figure out why they want nothing to do with my hobby otherwise. I guess they just hate it.

Well, I dunno, I don't really have many other members who'd be interested in my music either. I guess it's so bad :-) I know there are people who actually ask people to sing and play at parties, but I reckon if I tried to pull out the guitar and sing a song at one of our evening get-togethers with friends or family, she'd probably kill me right off :-)

Well, maybe that's one reason I love her so much, I mean, because she's such a tough girl in many ways, can't help but respect that.

[Perfect Stranger]

I'm in the same boat. I have to switch over to headphones and GTR3
whenever there are others at home.

[sunvalleylaw]

We were living in my mother-in-law's house this summer while ours was being remodeled so she could move in. Smaller quarters, so we were all in the same room at night. I learned to play through headphones more. My wife accepted it because she knows it is the only time I have to practice or play. Before, even if I had headphones on, I might get dirty looks if I was trying to hang in the living room where she was reading. (trying to be together with her, even if she was nose in a book, but it was distracting to her). Now, with the new room, I can go play, and shut the doors. I still play pretty quietly, but I can play. If I want to play more loudly, I need to use a different amph (my son's Peavey Vypyr works great for that) and use headphones. Now that we are back in, I will start combining it with the computer for backing tracks, loops etc. So no real fights, but I do have to be a bit quiet after the kids are in bed, which is usually when I play.

[Robert]

That's why I never play unless I'm home by myself... ;)

But my plan is a sound proof studio room in the basement. That should do it.

Good singing on that video, Dee! But the cat had enough at 2:07 into the clip... :cry:

[marnold]

When my office was on the main floor, I generally had to keep it quietish just because the house isn't that big. Too loud and no one would be able to think. Now that I'm in my underground lair (aka the basement), I can actually get things pretty loud and nobody says anything. Most evenings I'm in my living room with my guitar unplugged, plinking away. My wife is fine with it.

[Lev]

Dee, I could have written that myself - I hear ya brother 100%. The only time I get to pick up a guitar now is at a gig or rehearsal. It's a bit frustrating coz I have to tweak my sound and FX on the fly at rehearsals, rather than doing all my tweaking at home.

I've a 16month old daughter and our second child is due in the next few weeks so I've resigned myself to the situation, family comes first (which is how it should be). But I do hope that as the kids get older I'll get some more guitar time a home.

[sunvalleylaw]

My wife does get generally annoyed if she can hear me more than a whisper, so the closed room helps me play quietly at least. Like I said, she did loosen up a bit about the unamplified guitar if I have head phones on or am just listening to the unamplified strings. And at least she actually wanted me to play at the party last weekend, after the band had quit and we were goofing off later in the evening so she and her friends could sing. That is the key for me to get any interest from her, know a few singalong type songs, ie, Buffet, Van Morrison, American Pie (which was what she wanted to sing), Cat Stevens, etc. Maybe even Piano Man on the guitar? LOL!

BTW, my wife is tough too, and gives me similar sarcastic response (like when Deeaa's said she did not want to have to look at the album cover every day) when I share creative stuff I am working on in music, or even my ski program. Oh well, obviously when kids came along the focus changed a lot as it should. It is starting to loosen up a bit as the kids get older, and as they get into music. And my wife was even taking lessons herself for piano recently, and I hope we both get back into lessons some now, so that helps loosen it up too.

EDIT: I think the kids getting older and getting into things helps. When they are really young, I think it is often hard for Moms to accept anything else except what benefits the nest, and forget that there is a larger world out there. It eases off later.

[ibanezjunkie]

same here Deeaa, but i use the same trick back on them, so none of that boyband crap ends up on the TV.

[Kodiak3D]

Our house had a second 2-car garage in the back yard that the previous owner used as a woodshop. After we got the house, StreetMusic helped me put up a ceiling and my wife and I drywalled it and carpeted it, so now it's a nice separate room off from the house. Still needs some better temperature control but it's comfortable in the evenings. I go out there and can play whatever I want :D

[aeolian]

I don't have a basement or a room with good sound isolation. I do have a study with french doors and that's the best I have if I want to make some noise.

95% of the time I just play my electric guitars unplugged. It works fine for me since my amplified setup is really simple: a couple of pedals into an amp and I don't do a lot of tweaking. Most of the time while my wife is watching TV I sit about 10 feet from her and work on stuff unplugged on one of my electrics. Last week when I wanted to play with the tremelo on my amp I had it in our bedroom at low volume, and I was done figuring out what I wanted to do in 20 minutes.

My family does not have much interest in my guitar playing either. They did come to a BBQ at the bass player's house where we played about 20 songs for the people at the event. My wife and kids told me that we do not suck, which is as good as I get out of them. Our drummer's family is the same way as mine; in fact they have not ever been to any of the times we've played for an audience, which is on 4 occasions in the last 3 months.

I really don't have anything to complain about as far as guitar playing is concerned. My family leaves me to doing my stuff, and I can do it without disturbing them.

[Geraint Jones]

When my now wife first moved in with me we had a drum kit in the corner of our living room , I had a Marshall 100w combo on top of a 4x12, a 300w bass amp as well as a 1000w pa rigged up , I gave her a pair of ear defenders from work . Oh how times have changed .

[pes_laul]

My parents (step dad and mom) don't really mind it as long as I'm in my room and it aint to late.

My dad on the other hand encourages it and most of the time will pick up a guitar or sing with me.

[peachhead]

Y'all make me feel better. I thought I was the only one who had to deal with that. I've been really getting into my Strat for the last few months but only unplugged, and I'm itching to fire up the amp; but it's rare that I can do that without getting some grief. I need to get some good quality headphones, plus I've been thinking about about a pocket pod or something to do some recording with. I have a room in the basement that I want to finish up but I have some other projects to finish first. My wife has very good hearing... even when she's asleep.

[SuperSwede]

Same here... she can hear a unplugged strat two rooms away from the bedroom. At least its ok to play plugged at low volumes at day times (when I have no lust and no inspiration to play anything).

[Brian Krashpad]

I mainly just play at practices. I'm a band guy, I don't sit and noodle for hours anyhow.

My wife's generally uninterested in my band projects at this point, though early on she used to go to shows. I actually got her to go to our most recent show, and bring my son.

[Trailer Park Casanova]

I wish the kids would rock out more in the house.