Not my song but friend's first ever composition

[deeaa]

Well, I did the vocal composition and lyrics/vocals just now but the song is my old drummer's first ever recording on his PC. He's recorded the bass and guitars thru a POD, also the 'acoustic'.

It's still 'beta' as we're making a full song of it...

http://deeaa.pp.fi/lzm/Livingoutoftouch.mp3

Comments welcome...too long? There's not much mixing, I even recorded the vocals with an external reverb right on the track just now before leaving for work.

[deeaa]

BTW he now wants us to re-play the guitars and bass when we go over the song, keeping just his drums, but I figure I'll only replay those 'acoustics' which sound way off (delay?) but keep the electrics and bass. They have a sort of clumsy quality to them at times, but I think that works with the song well.

What do you think? Aside from the acoustic, isn't the bass and guitar quite acceptable?

[Eric]

Well, I did the vocal composition and lyrics/vocals just now but the song is my old drummer's first ever recording on his PC. He's recorded the bass and guitars thru a POD, also the 'acoustic'.

It's still 'beta' as we're making a full song of it...

http://deeaa.pp.fi/lzm/Livingoutoftouch.mp3

Comments welcome...too long? There's not much mixing, I even recorded the vocals with an external reverb right on the track just now before leaving for work.
My thoughts:

bass sounds kind of spacey and distant. This could be cool, but is mildly annoying to me at first.
bass timing seems to be off in parts
I like the guitar, including the acoustic
guitars in chorus sound really nice
guitar tone in solo part is very reverb-y, but I like it a lot
not sure if this is good or not, but I can rarely understand your lyrics. I like Big Star a lot and can almost never understand their lyrics, so I personally don't mind it.
seems to be really heavy on delay and reverb in general.
I didn't really notice it being too long, so I think it's fine.

[deeaa]

My thoughts:

bass sounds kind of spacey and distant. This could be cool, but is mildly annoying to me at first.
bass timing seems to be off in parts
I like the guitar, including the acoustic
guitars in chorus sound really nice
guitar tone in solo part is very reverb-y, but I like it a lot
not sure if this is good or not, but I can rarely understand your lyrics. I like Big Star a lot and can almost never understand their lyrics, so I personally don't mind it.
seems to be really heavy on delay and reverb in general.
I didn't really notice it being too long, so I think it's fine.


Thanks! Yeah agree on the bass. What I'm thinking now, I'll leave those first hollow notes under the start of verse - they sound cool - but replay the basses for the majority of the song/under the drums. It's a bit out of tune.
I also like the guitars for the most part, but I'll replay the acoustics - the off-beat delay feel throws me off too much.

I'll try to see if I can reduce some verbs overall, but yeah, I guess it won't hurt to have a song with weird/excessive verbs too.

LOL the lyrics...don't ask, I just sang whatever came to mind as the song went on :-) I suppose I need to re-sing it largely anyway, so I'll try to get some sense into it :-)

Yeah...I guess I know now pretty much what needs be redone. We're debating the lenght with the drummer though. I feel it's a little long; I'd like a fadeout at after five minutes and skip the very last chorus.

Thanks for the input!