Personal note. Dad is Sick.

[sunvalleylaw]

feel a bit conflicted about posting this. I am not one to make a public scene of personal stuff. But I am sad about this, and feel some good can come from sharing it. You guys have been friends since 2006, so I am just going to post this.

On the night we got home from vacation 3 weeks ago, I got an email that something might be wrong with my Dad and he was going in for tests. Friday of that next week, the day I performed at my gig I posted about, I learned it looked serious. He was diagnosed with cancer in his spine, but they didn't know how bad, etc. Turns out it is a form of sarcoma that is affecting some bones in his spine. They cannot pinpoint a source yet, or know exactly what form. Still waiting on biopsy results that were taken a couple weeks ago. They knew enough to start nuking him though.

Now he has just finished 10 days of radiation, and it has been rough. He turns 80 next month, and has been week and vulnerable to normal illness, etc. the last few years. The radiation has not been easy on him, and the morphine they have him on is really messing with him. He is a retired judge and a navy captain, and not one to just enjoy the ride on a drug. Rough on him mentally. Plus the other side effects.

I had thought we were waiting until next month to go see him, after letting him recover a bit from this. They are calling it a hard fight, not sending him home to pack it in. But the road has been harder than we thought, and I am heading over this weekend.

I am getting it together to go visit and just be there for him and Mom, and do what I can. He plays sax, and loves music, as I have posted. So I am bringing a guitar hoping he will enjoy a few chords, and that it will help keep me calmed down too.

[Robert]

Thanks for sharing with us. You have plenty of friends here, so it's perfectly alright to post this.

I think playing a blues for him will make him feel better. Just a few chords and a smile, that will do wonders for the soul.

I'm with you and your family in my thoughts.

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks Robert. I have a blues in mind that I can use some jazzy voiced chords he will like. Plus "Somewhere over the Rainbow", which I have played with him. And after all, it is a blues from the point of view of a girl from Kansas. He will like that.

[progrmr]

I am very sorry to hear about the health problems your Dad and the rest of your family are dealing with with.

In trying to put myself in your shoes - what comes to mind is how much it's going to mean for your dad to see you and spend some time together. When the chips are down and our true friends and family come to comfort us - well that's where strength comes from.

Prepare yourself as much as possible, then go and put a smile on his face as often as you can.

I will pray for your dad's speedy and complete recovery, and for strength and peace for you and your family.

[Tig]

I think you are doing the right thing (sharing and visiting). Music creates a great place to heal from, both mentally and physically. Even if he wasn't sick, it is a cool thing to do, just because. Tomorrow is promised to no one, regardless of our age, health, or situation.

My Dad is just a few years younger and while quite healthy, he is more fragile than he will admit. He just had some lower risk skin carcinoma's removed from his ear and neck. He survived a few other rounds of higher risk carcinomas, among other things in the past, but it is hard to not worry.

I really hope your dad kicks this cancer's arse, Steve. As my Dad says of himself, "Bad weeds never die!". I'll be honest, bone cancer in the vertebrae is no picnic. I remember I had a patient in his 20's with advanced bone cancer and his pain required a PCA pump pushing morphine in his spinal column, similar to an epidural used during labor and delivery. Keep on keepin' on, fight the good fight, and together, you, your mom, and your dad will get through this.

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks guys. I feel better having shared. Gonna go get some sleep now so I can be ready tomorrow for the trip.

[syo]

Very sorry to hear that your father's illness requires him to deal with such treatment. I hope things turn out well for him and he doesn't have to go through too much more to get well. My mother, who is nearly 80, overcame cancer almost 5 years ago and I know these things can be tough for everyone involved. Best thoughts Steve, to your father, to you and your family.

[FrankenFretter]

Thanks for sharing, Steve. I'm very sorry to hear that your father is having such a rough fight. Others before me have already said most of the important things, so I'll just say that you, your dad and your family are in my thoughts this evening, and I wish you all strength and peace. Good on ya for going to spend some time and share some music with your dad.

[bcdon]

So sorry to hear the news about your dad, Steve. Wishing your dad, you and the rest of the family all the best.

[piebaldpython]

Hope things go well with your Dad. You did the right thing going out NOW as tomorrow isn't promised to anybody. Mojo and prayers sent to your Dad.

[Jimi75]

Just got back from a 4 day easter holiday trip, checking in here and reading your post. Steve, I am really touched and I honestly feel sorry for your dad. This reminds me of the period I went through when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. The small things become the most important. I love your idea of playing some nice Blues for your dad. I am sure you will do beautiful and he will love it. Steve, I cross my fingers for your dad and include him in my prayers. Be strong things will go well. Sharing your thoughts was the right decision.

[guitarhack]

I hope all goes well with your dad and your family. I lost my father to alzheimer's 4 years ago.

[R_of_G]

You know you have friends here you can always talk to Steve.

My best wishes to your dad and your family as you guys deal with this situation.

[Katastrophe]

The music idea for your dad is a great one, Steve. Playing can help him focus on something else besides the side effects.

Prayers for strength and comfort in this time for you, your dad, and family have been sent.

[stingx]

Wishing your dad the best for a speedy recovery.

[NWBasser]

I don't know that I can add much Steve, but I know how difficult this sort of situation is and I wish the best for you and your father. I'll say that it's a great idea to spend every moment that you can with him.

[tjcurtin1]

Hey Steve, sending good thoughts your way. I feel your situation - my dad is an old Navy guy of the same generation and similar age, and of course you start to worry about them no matter how well they seem to be doing. I can say that there are folks of that generation who are really exceptional people who in many ways (personally, of course, but also globally) gave us the world we live in, and I know I want to hang on to mine! Best wishes to you all.

Ted

[Tig]

My Dad served in the Navy during Korea as well. CPO in the radar shack on destroyers and tenders. Oh, the stories he and guys like him tell! Let's just say he loved Japan.

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks everyone for the support. I arrived in time to say good night to him. He said he had a good day. My next younger brother was able to come and spend most of the day with him too. He is done with radiation for now, and he rested today. I hung with my brother and my Mom, and just now plugged my tele into my son's little old "Fullerton" SS amph from his fat strat pack. Sounds just fine for some clean chords at low volume and clean single note lines. Mom enjoyed my warming up.

Dad was in the active Navy during the Korean war, and was going to steam out there with the minesweeper division he was in, but was called back. After the war, he went to law school, and stayed in the reserve for years. He was a Captain of destroyers and Commodore of a mine sweeper division out of Tacoma.

Well, I am hoping he will still feel pretty well tomorrow, and start to move about some more, and increase those calories and fluids more. He did a little bit better today. Thanks again guys.

[oldguy]

Steve,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.
My Dad is a Korean war veteran, he'll be 82 in September.
I just saw this thread today, I will be praying for your Dad, and I think you playing for him is wonderful. I do that for my Dad when he's down, since Mom's been in the nursing home after her stroke.
We all need to let our loved know how much they mean to us.

[otaypanky]

Hang in there, both of you ~

[kidsmoke]

Steve,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.

We all need to let our loved know how much they mean to us.

I'll enthusiastically endorse all of this. Says a lot about your Dad that dropping everything and going to be with him, with guitar in hand, is your kneejerk reaction when things get tough. Seems he did a pretty good job raising his kids.

keep us posted, Steve.

[t_ross33]

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family, SVL.

[MAXIFUNK]

I hope your Dad gets well.

[street music]

Steve, I hope your Dad can be without pain with his cancer, I know what you are facing as I lost my Dad to bone cancer which did go to his spine. It great that you are playing for him and spend every minute you can with him.

[poodlesrule]

I just read this thread a few minutes ago, as I was away from the forum for a while.
My thoughts are with Steve and family.

SVL, I hope your dad improves, and does not have too much trouble with therapy.
It is great fro you two to have the music connection!

Does he have friends who could visit him?
Grandchildren can visit?
Sometimes folks shy away from people when they get sick, unfortunately.

[Blaze]

Be strong Steve , music coming from the soul is always a good comfort for those who suffer ..

Sending Mojo and hope he gets well ..

[Pickngrin]

So sorry to hear about your dad, Steve. It sounds like you are of much comfort to him.
Be well.

[sunvalleylaw]

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate the support. It really makes a difference.

It was a rough weekend. Dad finished his radiation (for now) on Thursday, and the radiation and pain drugs etc. were really making it tough on him. Without going through all the details, we got through the weekend, and things are hopefully at this point starting to look up a little after a very rough and low point type of weekend.

They do have lots of friends and a good support system for when he can get back home.

On the positive side, he really did enjoy a little guitar and companionship. I was really glad I went for the visit. One step at a time at this point. Thanks for your support, love, prayers and encouragement. Really, . . . thanks.

[Brian Krashpad]

Steve, sorry I missed this til now. As others have said, this isn't just a place we talk about guitars, certainly people have seen more of my stuff here than they probably wanted to! So, especially when it's something serious like this, don't hesitate.

At this point I well know how radiation can take things out of a person, as well as dealing with pain meds. Plus my dad is retired Navy too, so I can relate on multiple levels. Take care, prayers for and mojo to you and all concerned.

Also, if anyone ever needs info or just support as a result of dealing with cancer, I highly recommend the American Cancer Society's "Cancer Survivor Network," which is for not only peeps with C but also caregivers/loved ones:

http://csn.cancer.org/

The site has DOZENS of forums, divided up into various different types of C (for example, I read/post in "head & neck cancer" from time to time), where you can talk to others going through (or who already have gone through) similar experiences. A lot of good info and good mojo there.

[otaypanky]

Steve, sorry I missed this til now. As others have said, this isn't just a place we talk about guitars, certainly people have seen more of my stuff here than they probably wanted to! So, especially when it's something serious like this, don't hesitate.


You're absolutely right Brian. Although many of the people I know here I know only by username and writing style I feel as though they are friends none the less. We share the little things like new guitars or gear and call them good days. It's only natural to share the real life stuff too ~

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks you guys. Brian, I will check out those resources. It is a long road for all involved. He is beginning to improve, but really got nuked, and unfortunately experienced worse than normal collateral damage to his duodenem (sp?) which has hampered his eating. Yesterday, he was finally able to eat solid food after having to be on iv nutrition for a bit, after he had to be re-admitted to the hospital during my visit weekend before last.

He is stable enough again that the oncologist is wanting to get some better answers on the origin of the sarcoma, which even Mayo clinic has not been able to figure out so far by the biopsies to this point. So more biopsies. A PET scan had to be put off for a while due to his being hospitalized, but I think they will get that scheduled again too. On the positive side, the radiation decreased his spine pain enough so that he is off the morphine completely at this point.

The visit was good in the sense that I got to spend some time, play him some songs, and be there when I was needed. Kind of hard being back over here and not able to just drop in and check on things.

Thanks again everyone for the continued support.

[msteeln]

Glad to hear of some improvement, all the best in this battle.

[Brian Krashpad]

Yes, continued prayers and mojo. Keep us posted.

[sunvalleylaw]

Hi friends. I had not posted in this thread in a while as the additional news we received was that he was definitely terminal and there was not much to say. Well, Dad passed away just a little while ago. It was peaceful and without trauma. It had become a struggle for him to live, and we did not think he had long. But he was trying to hold out for our annual family visit. I had been back to see him over the last couple months, and we had left nothing unsaid. I will miss him.


Now, I am going to clean my desk, see about getting some extensions on some briefs, and get ready to travel home. Thank you all for your support.

Steve

[Katastrophe]

Prayers sent for comfort, for you and your family, Steve. I am sorry for your loss.

May your dad rest in peace.

[Lev]

Steve, my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[warren0728]

condolences and mojo steve....

[NWBasser]

Steve, you have my deepest sympathy.

[Tig]

I can't post the word after "Oh, ____" that I spoke after reading that. I can say that my heart goes out to you and your family, Steve. Just typing this brings tears to my eyes.

I know you were about to go visit him again, but don't let the timing mess with you. Carry on, stay strong when you can, and let it all out when you can't.

Also, thank you for sharing your Dad's life with us. I would have loved to have met him.

Doug

[helliott]

No matter what, it's never easy. I remember in the dark days before my dad passed a few years back, there were times when I was sure he was ready, and so were we. But we weren't really. Friends, family and music helped get me through. Sounds like you have all that and more. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Steve.
Howard

[aeolian]

Steve, I'm sorry about your Dad's passing. I hope seeing him recently helped.

[R_of_G]

Steve, my deepest condolences to you and your family.

[MAXIFUNK]

Sorry to hear of your loss my prayers go out to you and your family.

[piebaldpython]

Deepest condolences, prayers and mojo sent your way SVL.

[Beerman]

My sympathies for your loss. I'm hopeful that all the good memories will get you through the grief in the near future. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Monkus]

Condolences from the Monkus family. Prayers and mojo in transit. It doesn't get easier, just lighter.

[sunvalleylaw]

Thank you everyone. Your kind words, prayers, thoughts and mojo are all very appreciated.


Sincerely,

Steve

[sunvalleylaw]

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w92/sunvalleylaw/DadSax.jpg


http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w92/sunvalleylaw/P7301227.jpg

[Duffy]

Best wishes to you and yours during this time.

A picture speaks a million words.

[Tig]

Priceless photos.

[Blaze]

These pictures showing a simple and true love and complicity story between a Dad and his beloved Son unified in music..

My deepest Condolences to you and your family Steve ..

Rick

[street music]

Steve, my heart goes to you and your family.

[kidsmoke]

Fantastic photos, thank you.

Seems you two have been a blessing to each other for a long time, and that it will continue to be so.

My condolences to you and your family Steve.

Kip

[ET335]

Very sorry to hear about your Dad Steve....God bless you and your family.

[syo]

So very sorry to hear of your loss, Steve. My prayers to you and your family. Those photos of you and your father are wonderful.

[Pickngrin]

Steve - I'm very sorry to hear about your father's passing. May you and your family find peace through this difficult time.

[Teleman77]

I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I have a friend who has been battling cancer for 8 years and it has been an up and down battle. I will pray for your dad.

[oldguy]

Very sorry to hear, Steve. Prayers to you and your family in this difficult time. The photos are wonderful, a priceless memory.

[sunvalleylaw]

I just woke up. It is still a little hard to get ahold of on this second morning since he passed. Almost like it should have been a dream one wakes up from. All I know right now is I miss him. But that is not true. I also know how fortunate I am to have had a Dad like mine. The outpouring of love and remembrance from friends and family is truly a testament to him. Doesn't make me miss him less though. Thank you for the continued support!


Oh, and one other thing. Those pictures make me so glad that I decided to start trying to play with Dad, even if I was not very good by comparison (he was really good, the real thing). It was very special to be able to share that with him, on top of everything else.

If any of you have the chance now to share something or connect in any way with your Dad or Mom, or any one else you love, I humbly suggest that you do it.

[Robert]

Steve, my deepest sympathies during this time of loss.

I know it's not easy. May your memories be your comfort.

[duhvoodooman]

Very sorry to read of your dad's passing, Steve. My sincerest condolences to you & your family.

[otaypanky]

My condolences Steve

[DeanEVO_Dude]

Steve,
My heart goes out to you and you family in these trying times. One of the hardest things to do is watch someone you love die from a horible disease, like cancer. My wife pass on October 13, 2010 of that dreaded disease. It is sad to not have her here anymore, and I go thru bouts of missing her deeply, but it was somewhat of a relief when it happend because she was in soooo much pain at the end, and it was not quick. She was diagnosed 5 years ago.

Again, my heart goes out to you and yours.

Sincerely, Scott

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks DeanEVO.


Well, I am back from my Dad's funeral, and on Friday, graveside services at Tahoma National Cemetary with Naval military honors. Our annual family visit, and a high school reunion, coincided with the timing of those events. It has seemed somewhat surreal at times. There were plenty of remembrances of Dad. We took Mom to that family camp we have always gone to after the funeral, which was good, but hard too. Lots of memories of Dad. The camp was always full of his music, and many are carrying it on in his memory and due partially to his inspiration. I did have the chance to play guitar a fair amount, and even some good jamming opportunities at camp. I was amazed at how kind everyone was. Now, after driving back after the graveside services, it is sinking in that I can't just call him up on the phone week after next.

I have lots of work piled up (being self employed does not include family leave), and am slowly getting back into the swing of things. It is beautiful summer weather here, and we have some fun things on the horizon, plus as I said, lots of work to do. The lawn is amazingly long right now. Thanks all of you for your support.

[Robert]

Thanks Steve. It sounds like you had a great goodbye. I hope everything goes great for you from now on.

[Katastrophe]

Continued prayers of peace and comfort, Steve.

[stingx]

I just saw the update to this. I'm so sorry to learn of your father's passing. You have my deepest sympathy.

[otaypanky]

I know what you mean about how it feels to not be able to just pick up a phone and speak with him Steve. My dad died in 1992 and I miss him every day. Especially now reading this, it reminds me how much.
I bet returning home and feeling the back up of work, seeing how long the grass has grown, and other things, have a different sense of urgency about them now. Small potatoes in the big picture ~