my harshest critic... fieldtrip w/mom 101

[Childbride]

growing up, my harshest critic, and i say this with love, was my mother.

i look back now with some perspective, and realize that her and my father drove me to be the over-achieving, always dis-satisfied with my accomplishments person that i am [in a good way] and love her for it.

she's here this weekend. after she remarried, she moved from san antonio, tx to alexandria, va, next to mt vernon.

i met her, as is our custom, down by I-35 when she drives in, and she follows me to our house, which is kinda hard to find.

we visit for awhile, and then i get brave.

'ya wanna see what i've learned since last time i played for you?'

'yeah'

so i go through my list of songs i've played for my lessons, my flatpicking songs, my 70's songs that she would remember. the woman who would never give me an inch, smiled.

she winked at me.

'you've come a long way, baby.' she said.

do you know what that means to me?!

then we went to supper, and the stepson is home again...

we came back to the house, and shiner and i started jamming together and taking turns singing.

all of a sudden, she wanted to hold a guitar, too.

this isn't going to sound right. i'm a big, goofy, 5'11" german mutt tomboy. my mother is a tiny, petite, socialite china doll 5'6" german fullblood. she's holding shiner's d10's trying to play it... and loving it. she just likes the way it feels.

but she approved of me. she said i played well. and she said that shiner and i should go on the road playing gigs.

i dunno if i made any sense with that post, but it was kinda a special day for me. :)

[Plank_Spanker]

A little validation can go a long ways sometimes............................:D

German mutt? So am I. My mother is German.

[Childbride]

mother's side is darned near 100% pure German.

dad's side is German, with a little heinz 57, and a strain of pure Cherokee. :D

here's to brotherhood. :beer:

[Plank_Spanker]

mother's side is darned near 100% pure German.

dad's side is German, with a little heinz 57, and a strain of pure Cherokee. :D

here's to brotherhood. :beer:

Some Cherokee?

My Mom is full blooded German. She married my father while he was stationed in Germany. I was born there.

My father also has a good dose of Cherokee in him. :D

Cheers! :beer:

[oldguy]

Loved that insight (wiping tears from cheeks). My parents were always critical....but in a good way. Taught us to be self sufficient, work hard, pay our own way, stand up for your beliefs, and don't back down if you know you're in the right.
Mom's in a home now....had a stroke two yrs. ago, and can't talk.
Mom was always on the phone, visiting neighbors, chatting, laughing, a very verbal person..... now..........nothing.
Dad....well, when Mom went away, Dad kinda did too. There was nothing Dad couldn't fix, or work hard enough to get us through tough times, or show the five of us what to do when it got rough. He still takes care of the cattle, and does the chores.......and then goes to the home to visit Mom.
Guess what I'm saying is I loved the part about your Mom telling you how well you've done. Cherish that, please. I thought I'd see an end to it someday, but not in just one day.
Thanks for sharing......

[Childbride]

Old Guy...

this has been an especially hard week for me... i have a family member who's terminal... and i'm waiting for a phone call.

so it's been a weird week of ups and downs.

kind of puts life in perspective, doesn't it?

k

ps: i'm so sorry about your mom... that hurts me... and your talk about the cattle reminds me of my grandpa... o heck, now i need to wipe tears from my eyes, too...

[sunvalleylaw]

Sorry about the stress in your life right now, but glad you had a really nice moment with your Mom. My Mom and Dad also expected/demanded my best so I know how important such validation is.

[ted s]

Big hug for CB ..

[Tone2TheBone]

Eventually some of our tough parents "come around".... ;) :) Great story CB...very cool.

[PAPPY]

i'm a big, goofy, 5'11" german mutt tomboy I would like to respectfully disagree with that statement, "i'm a tall, intelligent, 5'11" german BEAUTIFUL SPECIAL LADY" would come closer to describing you my friend. So glad you had a good visit with your MOM. I also agree that you and Shiner should go on a raod trip......at least over to Star, Tx., we missed you two not being with us over the weekend but I know priorities are in place so am looking forward to a later time when we can "get er done" on the guitars. Still have your kin in my prayers.

[Childbride]

[blush]

thank you, my friend.

we really missed hooking up with you and your cousin this weekend to jam, that would have been awesome. another weekend, and soon, i hope.

and the kin in question is still hanging on... i'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. i guess it's just What Is.

thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.

[tot_Ou_tard]

Nice moment with your Mom CB! I hope you can keep your spirits up through the tough times.

My wife's mother is German as well.

[Childbride]

thank you, Tot... :)

[Brian Krashpad]

Congrats!

My dad plays banjo and a little gutar so he's always approved.

My mom has been asking me when I was going to "grow out of" being in bands for at least the last 15 years.

[piebaldpython]

CB, at least you got some validation out of your Mom. I'm still waiting to get some from mine, even after 51 years. Sheesh!!! She might say something nice about me to my Dad, but never directly to me. Her reasoning (according to my Dad) is that if she compliments me, I might get a swelled head over it. So, because of THAT, I make damn sure that Baby Cobra knows that I admire the heck out of her for whatever she accomplishes in life. Mom's Hungarian/Rumanian and sometimes that stoicism drives me nuts. :rotflmao:

[tot_Ou_tard]

thank you, Tot... :)

I should be thanking you...you're the one who brings soul to this place.

[tot_Ou_tard]

CB, at least you got some validation out of your Mom. I'm still waiting to get some from mine, even after 51 years. Sheesh!!! She might say something nice about me to my Dad, but never directly to me. Her reasoning (according to my Dad) is that if she compliments me, I might get a swelled head over it. So, because of THAT, I make damn sure that Baby Cobra knows that I admire the heck out of her for whatever she accomplishes in life. Mom's Hungarian/Rumanian and sometimes that stoicism drives me nuts. :rotflmao:

Well *WE* like you piebald!

That never makes up for parental pain, but often it's what *really* gets us through!

[just strum]

CB, at least you got some validation out of your Mom. I'm still waiting to get some from mine, even after 51 years. Sheesh!!! She might say something nice about me to my Dad, but never directly to me. Her reasoning (according to my Dad) is that if she compliments me, I might get a swelled head over it. So, because of THAT, I make damn sure that Baby Cobra knows that I admire the heck out of her for whatever she accomplishes in life. Mom's Hungarian/Rumanian and sometimes that stoicism drives me nuts. :rotflmao:

Pie, I'm in the same boat, won't get into the sad story here, but stories like CB's are great to read.

[sunvalleylaw]

Heck, my wife is full Dutch, though raised here in the States, and her mom, who lives next door, is from Holland. Nice ladies, I love them both. But handing out warm fuzzies is not typically their way.

I have had some nice experiences with my Dad since I started playing guitar. He is an excellent musician (sax and piano) and my starting playing has brought us closer together. I am glad CB got a little recognition. It sure feels nice.

[oldguy]

My Mom was always very supportive of me playing any music. My Dad will say something isn't too bad, if that's what you like, but that's not country!:D :D
That's what he told me the first time I played "Galveston", by Glen Campbell, for him. "That's not country."
And he's right. :)

[Tone2TheBone]

My mother was never supportive of my guitar playing. Consider yourself lucky if yours was. However if my real father were alive I'd probably want his support and acceptance more than my mother's FWIW.

[pes_laul]

Im glad my parents are always been supportive of my guitar playing. both my dad and step dad play guitar and their always pushing me to learn new scales, songs, Etc. Even if they absolutely hate the music I play they still support it.