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duhvoodooman
March 25th, 2006, 06:40 PM
Took my son w/ me to today over to the local Guitar Center to pick up a couple of cables for my new amp, and he spotted the above titled book and had to have it. We've already gotten the $10 purchase prices back in belly laughs. Here's one that tickled me:


Q: What do you call somebody who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.

More to come. Many, many more.... :D

Katastrophe
March 25th, 2006, 07:33 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to put in a lightbulb.







A: None. We have machines to do that now.;) :R :D

duhvoodooman
March 25th, 2006, 08:11 PM
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

And while I'm at it, let's not forget us guitarists:


Q: What do you call a guitar player with no girlfriend?

A: Homeless. :D

SuperSwede
March 26th, 2006, 01:53 AM
Q How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Eight, one that changes the light bulb and seven that says that they could do it better.

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 11:45 AM
Q How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Eight, one that changes the light bulb and seven that says that they could do it better.

How long does it take a guitarist to change a lightbulb?

...2 minutes per bulb and 3 days spent looking at the hue of the of the bulb and wondering whether he should put the GE Reveal back in or spring for a high quality NOS Sylvania 60 Watt.

I'd be playing my guitar right now, but ya'know those cheap production 60 watters have a harsh yellow hue to them & I am to busy fiddling with the dimmer switch to see if I can bring down the yellow without making the whole room too dark & muddy looking!

Justaguyin_nc
March 26th, 2006, 11:51 AM
Q - Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?

A - So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 11:57 AM
How long does it take a guitarist to change a lightbulb?

...2 minutes per bulb and 3 days spent looking at the hue of the of the bulb and wondering whether he should put the GE Reveal back in or spring for a high quality NOS Sylvania 60 Watt.

I'd be playing my guitar right now, but ya'know those cheap production 60 watters have a harsh yellow hue to them & I am to busy fiddling with the dimmer switch to see if I can bring down the yellow without making the whole room too dark & muddy looking!
I'd go florescent for the reliabilty, but they always look sooo florescently.

Are there any good hybrid incandescent/florescent bulbs? I am also in the market for a good flourescent modeling bulb, particularly if it can model a good handwired boutique bulb.



....ooooohhhh, look at the *SATURATION* when I crank the dimmer!

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 11:59 AM
I'd go florescent for the reliabilty, but they always look sooo florescently.

Are the any good hybrid incandescent/florescent bulbs? I am also in the market for a good flourescent modeling bulb, particularly if it can model a good handwired boutique bulb.



....ooooohhhh, look at the *SATURATION* when I crank the dimmer!
There are some good modeling bulbs, but they usually get their color saturation from prefiliment clipping, for true rich color saturation you have to overload the filament itself!

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 12:22 PM
There are some good modeling bulbs, but they usually get their color saturation from prefiliment clipping, for true rich color saturation you have to overload the filament itself!
By the way, does anyone know of a good 30 watt bulb that can achieve color saturation at low light levels? I'd like to use it in my bedroom without disturbing my wife.

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 12:39 PM
Supposed I want to overdrive the filament in my bulb, I looking for smooth, rich, and creamy color saturation. I've heard that there are devices that will boost the power to the bulb. Is there any point to paying the premium for a two filament all incandescent boost? Or will a cheaper florescent booster work just as well?

SuperSwede
March 26th, 2006, 12:51 PM
tot_Ou_tard, perhaps you should check out the kind of bulbs they use on fotball arenas. Very cozy light from those. I think you can get away with a 1500W system before the wife wakes up

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 02:43 PM
Whhoooaaaa!! 1500 watts of pure bulby hue!!!!

--With this bulb I get no blazing solos

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 02:55 PM
Ooooohhh, the *GLOW*!
http://www.musco.com/projshow/images/Iksan.jpg
http://www.biscuitsbaseball.com/images/stadium/021904_6.jpg

warren0728
March 26th, 2006, 03:07 PM
Supposed I want to overdrive the filament in my bulb, I looking for smooth, rich, and creamy color saturation. I've heard that there are devices that will boost the power to the bulb.
i think you are looking for the bad "moon"key device....produces a nice warm glow...especially around harvest time.

ww

duhvoodooman
March 26th, 2006, 05:50 PM
Just wait until a hot day this summer, when everybody is running their A/C. The power company won't be able to keep up, and a "brown-out" will occur. Brown is good. Very, very good. Guys pay big bucks for brown!

AAMOF, iit get's much browner around here, I don't know if I will be able to take it....

tot_Ou_tard
March 26th, 2006, 07:09 PM
What is brown exactly?...Is it an acronym for edge of breakup? What is the brownest recorded song that you know & I'll listen to it.

I've spent my life enjoying music, but it wasn't until I started to play that I realized that I hadn't a clue about music. Never heard of a single coil or a humbucker before last fall and I *think* I understand what strat quack means. I play my fat strat like SD in the 2 & 4 notch & say to myself is that a duck? I think that's a duck.

Tele twang is easier.

Quak, quack, twang, twang...

'tard

Spudman
March 26th, 2006, 07:49 PM
You heard about the drummer that locked his keys in his car?
He had to break a window to get the bass player out.

ZoSo65
March 26th, 2006, 07:53 PM
You heard about the drummer that locked his keys in his car?
He had to break a window to get the bass player out.
LOL,,I know a couple people that will really enjoy that one.:D

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 06:03 AM
Q: What did the drummer get on his SAT's?

A: Drool.

warren0728
March 27th, 2006, 06:05 AM
Q: What did the drummer get on his SAT's?

A: Drool.
lmao....my roomate (before marriage) is a drummer so i always love a good drummer joke!

ww

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 06:12 AM
What is brown exactly?...Is it an acronym for edge of breakup? What is the brownest recorded song that you know & I'll listen to it.

Yeah, exactly--that warm, fat breakup you get from an overdriven Humbucker. I guess we all have our own subjective concept of the term, but I tend to associate it with classic rock of the 70's and early 80's, played on a Les Paul. "Brownest recorded song"? Hmmm, would have to think about that for a while....

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 10:28 AM
Q: You're driving down the road and you see your band's singer and drummer crossing the road just ahead. Which one do you run over first, and why?

A: The singer. Business before pleasure.

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 01:17 PM
Of course there is this old classic...

An accordianist and a 'Bone player do a New Year's Eve gig. After the gig, the promoter comes up and tells them how fantastic they were, and that he would really love to have them return next year if they aren't already booked.

The 'Bone player looks to the Accordianist and says, "Hey that's great! We can just leave our axes here!"

SuperSwede
March 27th, 2006, 01:27 PM
"Brownest recorded song"? Hmmm, would have to think about that for a while....

ZZ Top, Brown Sugar :)

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 01:44 PM
ZZ Top, Brown Sugar :)

Actually SS, I'd have to go with either "Mr. Limousine Driver," "In Need," or "Inside Looking Out" off of Grand Funk Railroad's 1969 release, "Grand Funk," although ANY song from that album reeks of brown!

And if bass can have a "brown sound" as well, it don't get any browner than Mel. Schacher simply flat out ROCKS!!! The cool thing is Mel's still got it today. A Zon Sonus4, a Tech21 SansAmp, and an overdriven Ampeg SVT!

Tone Deluxe!!!

:R :R :R

SuperSwede
March 27th, 2006, 01:56 PM
I must check out that Grand Funk Railroad album then :)

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 02:19 PM
ZZ Top, Brown Sugar :)
Ya know, Swede, ZZ Top was the first band that popped into my mind, too. Tunes like Tush, LaGrange, pretty much anything off Eliminator, etc. The Who could get brown in a big way; Won't Get Fooled Again is a classic brown power chord tune. I just love Pete's tone on that tune and several others on Who's Next. When I figured out how to get some good overdriven tone with the new Peavey amp, that was one of the first tunes I cranked up!!

Another great example of brown, but very different, was the tone Duane Allman got out of that old LP he played. Just gorgeous, both straight up and slide. And EC on the Beano album was brown before any of us knew what to call it!

I still have no idea what I'd call the "brownest" song I ever heard. Not sure that question can really be answered--there are so many different shades of brown!!

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 02:21 PM
Of course there is this old classic...

An accordianist and a 'Bone player do a New Year's Eve gig. After the gig, the promoter comes up and tells them how fantastic they were, and that he would really love to have them return next year if they aren't already booked.

The 'Bone player looks to the Accordianist and says, "Hey that's great! We can just leave our axes here!"
Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombone player's car?

A: Remove the "Dominos" sign from the roof.

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 02:22 PM
I must check out that Grand Funk Railroad album then :)

Grand Funk @ Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00006GA4C/sr=8-1/qid=1143491489/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-7513291-5371938?%5Fencoding=UTF8)

New and Used at under six bucks!

SuperSwede
March 27th, 2006, 02:23 PM
Rob, I already found it at the iTunes music store.

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 02:55 PM
Another great example of brown, but very different, was the tone Duane Allman got out of that old LP he played. Just gorgeous, both straight up and slide.

And EC on the Beano album was brown before any of us knew what to call it!

I still have no idea what I'd call the "brownest" song I ever heard. Not sure that question can really be answered--there are so many different shades of brown!!

Voodoo, speaking of the Allman's, you want to check out a little late model "brown," look no further than Warren Haynes on Govt. Mule's 2004 release, "Deja Voodoo." Warren pretty much nails "brown" on that one.

You're right about Eric, although wasn't his tone described as "woman tone," whatever that is in difference to "brown?"

Yes indeed Voodoo, there certainly are many, many shades of brown!

warren0728
March 27th, 2006, 03:31 PM
Q: what's the different between a drummer in a band and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

ww

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 04:13 PM
Voodoo, speaking of the Allman's, you want to check out a little late model "brown," look no further than Warren Haynes on Govt. Mule's 2004 release, "Deja Voodoo."
Geez, I'll have to check that out, what with Warren and his band being nice enough to name it after me! :D


You're right about Eric, although wasn't his tone described as "woman tone," whatever that is in difference to "brown?"
The "woman tone" is mostly associated with the Cream days. I always thought of his solo on the first song of the "Fresh Cream" album, I Feel Free, as epitomizing that sound. From what I've read and experimented with personally, it's achieved (or at least approximated) by turning the treble control to it's lowest setting on an overdriven neck humbucker. I'll bet running it through a big ol' late 60's vintage Marshall stack doesn't hurt, either!!

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 07:33 PM
Rob, I already found it at the iTunes music store.

Hope you're diggin' it man!

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 07:49 PM
You're right about Eric, although wasn't his tone described as "woman tone," whatever that is in difference to "brown?"
The "woman tone" is mostly associated with the Cream days. I always thought of his solo on the first song of the "Fresh Cream" album, I Feel Free, as epitomizing that sound. From what I've read and experimented with personally, it's achieved (or at least approximated) by turning the treble control to it's lowest setting on an overdriven neck humbucker. I'll bet running it through a big ol' late 60's vintage Marshall stack doesn't hurt, either!!
Made a little "woman tone" of my own. Recorded using my LP and Delta Blues set up as described above. Sounds pretty close, to me. Any of you recognize that last little 9-note riff? Winner gets to answer the bonus question! :D

153

r_a_smith3530
March 27th, 2006, 08:46 PM
Any of you recognize that last little 9-note riff? Winner gets to answer the bonus question! :D


Sounds a tad bit like Spoonful.

Nelskie
March 27th, 2006, 08:47 PM
Hmmm . . . is it "Rollin' & Tumblin'" - Fresh Cream?

BTW - Your "woman tone" is spot-on, bro'. Nice. That amp appears to be working well for you.

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 08:50 PM
Sounds a tad bit like Spoonful.
Nope!


Hmmm . . . is it "Rollin' & Tumblin'" - Fresh Cream?
Uh-uh.

I'll give you a hint--it's from Disraeli Gears.

Nelskie
March 27th, 2006, 08:57 PM
Well, how about "Sunshine of Your Love" . . . ?

duhvoodooman
March 27th, 2006, 09:11 PM
Well, how about "Sunshine of Your Love" . . . ?
Nope. You're just guessin', now! ;)

Hint # 2: Clapton sings lead on the tune.

SuperSwede
March 28th, 2006, 08:08 AM
Hope you're diggin' it man!

Yeah, I really liked it.

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 09:14 AM
Made a little "woman tone" of my own. Recorded using my LP and Delta Blues set up as described above. Sounds pretty close, to me. Any of you recognize that last little 9-note riff? Winner gets to answer the bonus question! :D

153
C'mon, you guys! It's a little obscure, but not that hard! It's the main, repeated riff in the tune. Plus, I'm dyin' to ask that bonus question!! :D

Nelskie
March 28th, 2006, 10:30 AM
OK Voodoo - I'm gonna buy me a bulldoog . . . it's Outside Woman Blues!!!

Do I win the luxurious Chrysler Cordoba, with rich Corinthian leather?? :D

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 11:06 AM
OK Voodoo - I'm gonna buy me a bulldoog . . . it's Outside Woman Blues!!!
"...and if you lose your woman, please don't fool with mine!"

Ladies & gentlemen, WE HAVE A WINNER!!

What could be more appropriate than a little "woman tone" in a song with a woman title??


Do I win the luxurious Chrysler Cordoba, with rich Corinthian leather?? :D
Believe me, if it we're mine to give, it'd be yours. How about a genuine simulated photo of Ricardo Montalban getting frisky with Tattoo??

And now, the bonus really-weird-Cream-trivia question:

Also on the "Disraeli Gears" album is a song entitled SWLABR. The title is an acronym, not a word. What does it stand for? And no fair Googling!! ;)

r_a_smith3530
March 28th, 2006, 11:28 AM
And now, the bonus really-weird-Cream-trivia question:

Also on the "Disraeli Gears" album is a song entitled SWLABR. The title is an acronym, not a word. What does it stand for? And no fair Googling!! ;)

I forget the exact acronym, but it's something about being like a bearded rainbow, and I believe it was Clapton's idea. All I can say is that he must've been smokin' some good sh*t at the time!

I wonder if that's where Sabbath got the Nativity In Black idea from?

Spudman
March 28th, 2006, 11:41 AM
So back to the tread topic...

What did the Greatful Dead fan say when he ran out of drugs?








This band sucks!

r_a_smith3530
March 28th, 2006, 11:56 AM
So back to the tread topic...

What did the Greatful Dead fan say when he ran out of drugs?

This band sucks!

And...why are mandolins better than banjos?

They burn longer!

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 12:07 PM
I forget the exact acronym, but it's something about being like a bearded rainbow, and I believe it was Clapton's idea. All I can say is that he must've been smokin' some good sh*t at the time!
Close enough! It stands for the song's original title, She Walks Like a Bearded Rainbow. But as I understand it, it was a Jack Bruce/Peter Brown tune and Clapton thought the title was too weird, and so they shortened it to the acronym.

Last Cream trivia question: Where did the album title Disraeli Gears come from??

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 12:10 PM
And...why are mandolins better than banjos?

They burn longer!
Q: What's the difference between a mandolin and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you chop up a mandolin.

warren0728
March 28th, 2006, 12:13 PM
Cream trivia question: Where did the album title Disraeli Gears come from??

One of their roadies acidently said "disraeli gears" instead of "derailleur gears"when they were talking about bikes....

ww

warren0728
March 28th, 2006, 12:15 PM
She Walks Like a Bearded Rainbow
ok....anyone know what was meant by bearded rainbow?

winner gets a set of vip passes to my first gig :D

ww

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 12:57 PM
One of their roadies acidently said "disraeli gears" instead of "derailleur gears"when they were talking about bikes....
Exactly right! You must have found the same web page that I did! :D

The SWLABR thing is old info, but I had never heard about the origin of "Disraeli Gears" until I stumbled across it last night on the web....


ok....anyone know what was meant by bearded rainbow?

winner gets a set of vip passes to my first gig :D
Rumor has it that it stems from Disraeli Gear's producer Felix Pappalardi drawing mustaches & beards on photos of a girlfriend he had recently broken up with. Poor old Felix had his share of "female trouble", huh? Especially on 4/17/83....

So where & when for this first gig, Warren??

Nelskie
March 28th, 2006, 01:09 PM
Believe me, if it we're mine to give, it'd be yours. How about a genuine simulated photo of Ricardo Montalban getting frisky with Tattoo??

Pass. But since you've mentioned tatoos, how about we all enjoy a nice pic of Ms. Angelina Jolie's rather provacatively placed body art . . . ;)

You're all welcome.

Spudman
March 28th, 2006, 01:28 PM
She didn't used to have those and I told her specifically not to get them. Want to know where her birth mark is and what it looks like?

duhvoodooman
March 28th, 2006, 01:59 PM
She didn't used to have those and I told her specifically not to get them. Want to know where her birth mark is and what it looks like?
No, but I am curious about what you've been smoking/drinking/snorting/injecting.

Tone2TheBone
March 28th, 2006, 02:18 PM
Hell yeah Nelskie thanks for the gratuitious tat shot of my baby Angie......

Nelskie
March 28th, 2006, 02:21 PM
Well, Spud, whatever you told her went out the window after she and I downed a bottle of 1800 Anejo Tequila doing body shots on the beach. She bet me I couldn't name all of the original members of the Eagles. Ha! Small potatoes as far as music trivia is concerned (thankfully, she didn't ask me what SWALBR meant!!!) I told her if I did, I could pick out what what I wanted to tattoo on her, and where. If I couldn't, vice-versa. Her only request was that it be tasteful. Anyways, I saved Randy Meisner for last, just to play up the suspense a bit. All things considered, I think I made a pretty good choice, don't you? :D

And the birthmark? Near as I could tell, it was a tiny sea-horse, right by her . . . . . . . ? 'Course, I'd drank a half a bottle of top-shelf tequila, so things were a bit "hazy", if you know what I mean? ;)

warren0728
March 28th, 2006, 03:15 PM
Rumor has it that it stems from Disraeli Gear's producer Felix Pappalardi drawing mustaches & beards on photos of a girlfriend he had recently broken up with. Poor old Felix had his share of "female trouble", huh? Especially on 4/17/83....

So where & when for this first gig, Warren??

hmmm that's not the story i heard....

ww

Spudman
March 28th, 2006, 04:47 PM
You are vewy cwever you little wrascal.

tot_Ou_tard
March 28th, 2006, 05:49 PM
Made a little "woman tone" of my own. Recorded using my LP and Delta Blues set up as described above. Sounds pretty close, to me. Any of you recognize that last little 9-note riff? Winner gets to answer the bonus question! :D

153
Love that woman tone Voodoo thanks!

Tim
March 28th, 2006, 06:01 PM
Hey VooDoo - Great book. Sounds like it would make good reading material for the royal library. That's a good time for piece and quite and a good book.

tot_Ou_tard
March 28th, 2006, 06:21 PM
I still have no idea what I'd call the "brownest" song I ever heard. Not sure that question can really be answered--there are so many different shades of brown!!
That's a pretty decent band name or album title.

Shades of Brown.

I'm looking forward for the FretNet release of Shades of Brown on VooDoo Records.

duhvoodooman
March 29th, 2006, 05:45 AM
I'm looking forward for the FretNet release of Shades of Brown on VooDoo Records.
I dare say the critic's comments would be shades of brown, too--know what I mean, Vern? ;) :D

Spudman
May 31st, 2006, 04:40 PM
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?




A flat miner.

duhvoodooman
May 31st, 2006, 05:11 PM
Q: What did one musician say to the other when he noticed the clever army officer standing nearby?

A: See, sharp major!

Bloozcat
June 1st, 2006, 06:48 AM
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a drummer?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Nelskie
June 1st, 2006, 07:03 PM
Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless!

jpfeifer
June 1st, 2006, 07:11 PM
Q: How can you tell if a room is level?
A: Drool is coming out of both sides of the bass players mouth.

Q: Two musicans are in a car. Which one is driving?
A: The policeman

Q: What's the difference between a musician and a savings bond?
A: The savings bond eventually matures and starts earning money.

Q: How is a oboe like a class-action-lawsuit?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is finally closed.

Q: Whats the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
Q: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of them

Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
A: Put notes on the page. (Ouch!)

-- Jim

Spudman
June 1st, 2006, 08:00 PM
How do you cure GAS?





Switch to another forum.

Tim
October 30th, 2006, 06:00 AM
Well it's not music related, but I thought of Swede when I read it.

Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on
Dead Lake, fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a
sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife.
She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over.
Women like that are hard to find."

SuperSwede
October 30th, 2006, 08:28 AM
Lol.. thats a good one Tim.