Can you get married in heaven?

[sumitomo]

On their way to get married,a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
the couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting,they begin to wonder:Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St.Peter showed up,they asked him.
St Peter says,'I don't know.This is the first time anyone has asked.Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited,and waited.Two months passed and the couple is still waiting.As they waited they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven,what was the eternal aspect of it all.'What if it dosen't work?'they wondered,Are we stuck together forever?
After yet another month,St Peter finally returns,looking somewhat beddraggled.'Yes,'he informs the couple,'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple,'But we were just wondering,what if things don't work our?Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter,red-faced with anger,slams his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the couple.
'OH,COME ON!' St. Peter shouts,'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?
Sumi:D

[bigoldron]

Aaaahh hhhhaaaa hhhhhaaaaa hhhhaaaaaa (me screaming with laughter!) :rotflmao:

Good one Sumi!

[luvmyshiner]

It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?
Sumi:D

:D :D

I don't know if you can get married in heaven, but CB taught me that your marriage can be heaven . . . .

(OK, you guys can all :puke: now, but I'm willing to bet that line helps me get lucky tonight:beer: )

[bigoldron]

No offense to you, but did you hear about the new sushi restaurant that 2 lawyers opened? It's called "Sosumi" :D

[street music]

Shiner, always trying to land a new toy. CB, might catch on to your tricks one of these days.

[thearabianmage]

Haha! Nice one, sumi! I have another 'marriage/heaven'-related joke:

3 guys go to heaven and are waiting to get in when St. Peter says 'Now, I'm going to ask all of you a question - don't worry, you are all welcome in heaven - but the answer to my question determines what kind of car you get to drive around heaven - as it's so big.'

So the first guy walks up, and St. Peter asks him, 'how many times did you cheat on your wife?' The man shrugged and said 'Seven times. . .' 'Tut-tut' says Peter, 'You'll get a Chevy.' And the dude drove off.

The next guy walks up, and St. Peter asks the same question. 'Once, but we talked about it and everything was fine afterwards.' 'Well,' says St. Peter, 'that's good, but not quite perfect.' So that guy got a Mercedes, and he drove away.

The next guy walked up to St. Peter with a smile on his face and said 'Peter, I already know what you are going to ask and I never cheated on my wife, not once.' 'That's what I like to hear!' says St. Peter, and the man is given a Ferrari.

Later on, the guy in the Chevy and the Mercedes are driving around heaven, laughing about their new cars, when they see the guy in the Ferrari crying like a baby. 'What's wrong with you? You've got a lush car and you're in heaven!', they ask. 'I just saw my wife' the man in the Ferrari said. 'So? What's wrong with that?'

'She was riding a skateboard. . .'

:D

[Rocket]

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"

[duhvoodooman]

OK, you guys can all :puke: now, but I'm willing to bet that line helps me get lucky tonight :beer:
I'm at that age where "getting lucky tonight" means only having to get up once to pee....

[thearabianmage]

I'm at that age where "getting lucky tonight" means only having to get up once to pee....

That's where flowers and chocolates come in - or if it's really difficult, say you'll watch an episode of SATC with her :D

[Katastrophe]

I'm at that age where "getting lucky tonight" means only having to get up once to pee....

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That was hilarious!

I thank you for the new sig line, sir!


Oh, and I'm at the age where "getting lucky tonight" means that I get control of the remote.

[tjcurtin1]

Thanks all of yous for the several laughs:D

[bigoldron]

I thought "getting lucky" at my age was when she falls asleep first so I can watch what I want to...

[sumitomo]

A priest,a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplins to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day,someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard.A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment.They would all go up to the Smokies,find a bear,preach to it,and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later,they're all together to discuss the experience.Father Flannery,who has his arm in a sling,is on crutches,and has various bandages on his body adn limbs,went first.'WELL,'he said,'I went into the woods to find me a bear.And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.Well,that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.So I quickly grabbed my holy water,sprinkled him and,Holy Mary Mother of God,he became as gentle as a lamb.And next week this bear is going to recieve first communion and confirmation.
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.He was in a wheelchair,with an arm and both legs in casts,and an IV drip.In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed,'WELL brothers,you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle!I went out and I FOUND me a bear.And then I BEGAN to read to this bear from GOD'S HOLY WORD!!!!!,But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.So I took HOLD of hin and began to WRESTLE.We wrangled down one hill,UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.So right quick-like,I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.And he became as gentle as a lamb and we spent the rest of the day praising JESUS.Praise the LORD,Praise the LORD>
They both looked down at the rabbi,who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and in traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.He was in bad shape.The rabbi looks up and says,'Looking back on it,circumcision may not have been the best way to start.Sumi:D

[thearabianmage]

The rabbi looks up and says,'Looking back on it,circumcision may not have been the best way to start. . .

:rotflmao:

[warren0728]

The rabbi looks up and says,'Looking back on it,circumcision may not have been the best way to start.


:rotflmao:

+1000...that's funny....i don't care who you are! :bravo: :pancake: :beer:

ww

[marnold]

Reminds me of a comment someone made at our winter pastors' conference. One guy talked about how he and a couple of friends from the Seminary visited the Vatican whilst touring Europe when they were in school. They bumped into a couple of Americans studying for the priesthood.

Immediately I chimed up, "Did you walk into a bar?"

[tot_Ou_tard]

The rabbi looks up and says,'Looking back on it,circumcision may not have been the best way to start.Sumi:D
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Add my rolling heads to the rest. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: