Illness at home

I've thought a lot about whether I should post anything about this in public. I know this place isn't as active as it used to be, but it's the first place online where I really made good friends, so I feel it may be helpful for myself to share this.

Here goes. My wife has cancer and it's not curable. It's stage 4.

The news hit this spring. She has had a tumour removed but it has spread.

She is right now on strong chemo, and we hope it can put the breaks on the big C. It's tough. Our youngest daughter is 14.

I don't know what else to say. Feel free to ask questions.

Thoughts and prayers from me, Robert. Been through this several times with my own family.

Hey Robert - I'm glad that you felt that you could share this news here. I'm sure that those of us who still hang around here, as well as the many good folks who have over the years been a part of the community that you started here, will be pulling for you. I am so sorry to hear that your family is in the middle of this terribly difficult situation. Thoughts and prayers to you, along with hopes for what modern medicine can do.

Ted

Damn Robert.......sorry to hear about your wife. Prayers and mojo coming you and your family's way. If you don't have a will, I would strongly suggest getting one for you and your wife that covers death, power of attorney, medical directives and what happens to the minor children and your estate in case something happens to you too! I realize that it sounds morbid, but it really is the best thing for all. All of your wishes are spelled out and you want to leave nothing to chance.

That was the great thing about adopting our daughter 30 yrs ago.......in order to finalize the adoption, we had to present a will covering me, my wife and daughter. No muss, no fuss....just in case.

Just curious, what organ(s) is affected the most by her cancer? Feel free to PM me if you need to vent, discuss things.

Lungs and liver.


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Very saddened to read of this, Robert. My wife and I will definitely remember your wife & your family in our prayers.

Toughts and prayer to you and your family Robert, I feel so sad for you, I had lost so many friends recently of the awful Crab. I really do hope and pray that the doctors somehow will be wrong or at least that your wife won't suffer too much. It's really hard to give consolation and I feel pretty stupid and lame with the words but I send you tons of frienship and prayers form France

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Originally Posted by Robert

Lungs and liver.


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UGH! We will continue to pray for you and yours!

Very sad reading this, Robert. Stay positive though. I truly hope your wife beats it. My favorite uncle's mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer many years ago. They have her 3 months. She died 24 years later at 88. She said she wasn't ready to check out yet so she wouldn't. Amazing woman she was.

My prayers are certainly with you, your wife, and your family as well. I don't want to hold out false hope but what Stingx said is absolutely true. Even with all of our medical technology, predicting the future of cancer is an inexact science at best. Just had a couple of breast cancer scares in my family. Thankfully, it seems like surgery was able to take care of them. They of course will be watched like a hawk for years to come.

Robert, knowing you for so long, your news saddens me very much. My prayers will include you. I can hardly imagine the situation you are going through and the thoughts that keep you busy now day and night , but I hope you find the strength as a family to cherish every day and keep negativity outside.

Stay strong my friend - share your pains with us whenever you need.

Robert, I can only echo what others have said. I hate this disease; please get whatever support you can get, wherever you can get it, of course including here. The cutting edge of research seems to be gene therapy, and one never knows where that could end up going.

In the meantime, your family is in my prayers and I am throwing every bit of mojo I can your way. Unfortunately right now there is a bit of a societal backlash against use of pain meds, which too often effects people with legitimate needs like cancer patients. Do what you can to be a strong advocate against anyone who would attempt to block your wife from getting what she needs to be as comfortable as she can be.

Much love.

Thanks everyone. Brian, I appreciate hearing from you. I think you often, and hope that you are doing well.

I´m very sorry to hear this Robert! Ta hand om dig och din fina familj!

Hi Robert,

So sad to hear this news. I can only echo what everyone else has said. Words seem inadequate but I hope you can find the strength to support your wife and daughter through this difficult time.

-Lev

So sorry to hear this Robert. i don't know you as well as some others here do, but I hope you will accept thoughts, prayers and virtual hugs from here.

Very sorry to hear your news Robert, Im sure your spending as much time as you can with her. My wife & I will Keep her & you in our prayers. Thank you for sharing [emoji52]

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On December 26, she earned her wings.

It’s been a long fight and she never gave up.


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All my sincere condoleances dear Robert, I'm deeply sad about these news. I will keep you in my prayers !

Be as strong as you can, Robert. Besides your kids, there's a lot of us around the globe that think the world of you.

You need anything in the coming days, please ask. It'd be a privilege.

I'm sorry to hear that, Robert. I had wondered but I figured no news was good news. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Very sorry for your loss Robert and family. Thoughts and prayers.

Dear Robert - like the Rev, I had hoped that things were going better. I am so sorry to hear this news, and at such a difficult time of year. Good thoughts, prayers and best wishes for peace and recovery to you and your family. Please feel free to reach out to us here if we can be of any help at all. As Zip said, any/all of us would love to do whatever we can.

Ted

I guess any advice about how to move forward from here, considering I have a 16-year-old daughter. One thing I am doing is getting us a dog. I also invite people over more frequently so that we have some company on a regular basis. I also give her ideas about things we can do together and I also give her all the space she needs. Yesterday, I gave her a Lego set, expert level, and she really enjoys it.


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So very sorry to learn of your loss, Robert. You & your daughter will continue to be in our family prayers.

Such a tough age for a young woman to lose her mom. I hope that you will be brought closer together by helping each other through. Your instincts sound good - make sure that you take steps to take care of yourself, too, though.

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Originally Posted by Robert

I guess any advice about how to move forward from here, considering I have a 16-year-old daughter. One thing I am doing is getting us a dog. I also invite people over more frequently so that we have some company on a regular basis. I also give her ideas about things we can do together and I also give her all the space she needs. Yesterday, I gave her a Lego set, expert level, and she really enjoys it.


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Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I think it's especially good to have more people over because quiet times can be rough. The good thing is that kids are pretty resilient. They cope surprisingly well.

I learned of this just now...

Oh, Robert, my heart aches for you!
I've lost both parents, a couple of siblings, and several close friends; but never the one person in my life that is as close to me as I'm sure your wife was to you, Robert. The only advice I can offer comes from others who've gone through a tragedy like this; do nothing initially. By that I mean don't make any drastic changes suddenly; give yourself and your family some time to absorb what's happened, to grieve, and accept it (usually a year from what I've been told). Then begin to rebuild your lives.
You and your family are in our prayers.