recon someone can gimme a straight answer?

[R_of_G]

Being engaged means NOTHING without a ring and a wedding date.

On that I could not disagree more, especially on the date. My wife and I were no less committed to one another or to marrying one another before we set a date. The date is often just a practical date on which the most number of people you'd want to invite can reasonably be expected to attend. I fail to see why setting a date makes an engagement more meaningful than it was before. My wife and I were just as engaged before we set a date then we were after. We just knew what specific day we'd be getting married.

The ring is nothing but a symbol. Plenty of people don't even use them. It may be comforting for people to have a physical symbol of the engagement but its absence by no means renders an engagement meaningless as you suggest.

[bigG]

A straight answer: I have no idea.

Seems to me you can be engaged at any age...?

[Katastrophe]

:

Don't do it, man. You're not old enough for engagement. Teenage life is so full of turmoil and uncertainty.

How do you know what's gonna happen after school? Are you going to the same university? What about jobs?

BTW, guys and gals, I wonder how grungeiceman is doing these days. Anyone remember him?

Listen to Marnold. He's got it right.

[Blaze]

I had been with a woman for 21 years without any engagement or union contract.It went pretty good is nt !!...

Come on, your 15 ,don't be so hurry to get in the adult too complex world..

Take your time & love that girl with your heart & soul..

[Monkus]

Dude... I feel your angst. While still in my first marriage, and totally still in love, I nearly proposed to two women in my early twenties. 15 years later I'm glad I didn't. You feel like you cant breathe, there's this buzz when she's around, she smiles and angels start singing, I know it happens, I'm still there. Here's the rub...can you guys sustain that at from 15 till death do you part??? Do you both have the emotional and financial tools to treat each other like you both deserve ??? If this is real and you can feel it in your bones, it'll wait till you can afford to make the right decisions for both of your lives. Plan, and enjoy each other, the wait will be worth it.

Since this is a guitar forum, seems like this is song material. Write something, get it out there. Post it when you're done so we can tell you how awesome it is (or isn't). Writing, composing, arranging and recording is very cathartic. Rock on dude, don't lose her before you have her...

[ibanezjunkie]

in answer to the question of 'what about after school', shes going off to Med school if everything goes her way, and we plan to live together while she studies and i work a job somewhere.

and i can honestly, say, without her i have nothing. i cant actually see how engagement would change my life in any way? it can be broken off in a snap anyway, its not been legally binding since the early 70s if in correct.

so im gonna see how stuff goes.

thanks for all the input, its taken int oconsideration

[Spudman***]

So are you saying that you are nothing without her? That's not a good way to be. You might want to consider bringing something to the relationship. So far you are saying you are nothing and that's not good. A bright med student will only tolerate 'nothing' so long and then some of those 'something' doctors are going to start looking good compared to 'nothing'.

Before you can truly have a great relationship you need to be whole. Work on that. It's not much fun for the other person when their partner isn't strong within themselves. Surely you have some talent or skills that you can develop? You might want to be sure to focus on those while you are building this relationship or that greener grass might start looking pretty good to her.

[just strum]

So are you saying that you are nothing without her? That's not a good way to be. You might want to consider bringing something to the relationship. So far you are saying you are nothing and that's not good. A bright med student will only tolerate 'nothing' so long and then some of those 'something' doctors are going to start looking good compared to 'nothing'.

Before you can truly have a great relationship you need to be whole. Work on that. It's not much fun for the other person when their partner isn't strong within themselves. Surely you have some talent or skills that you can develop? You might want to be sure to focus on those while you are building this relationship or that greener grass might start looking pretty good to her.

Well said.

[ibanezjunkie]

So are you saying that you are nothing without her? That's not a good way to be. You might want to consider bringing something to the relationship. So far you are saying you are nothing and that's not good. A bright med student will only tolerate 'nothing' so long and then some of those 'something' doctors are going to start looking good compared to 'nothing'.

Before you can truly have a great relationship you need to be whole. Work on that. It's not much fun for the other person when their partner isn't strong within themselves. Surely you have some talent or skills that you can develop? You might want to be sure to focus on those while you are building this relationship or that greener grass might start looking pretty good to her.

what i mean by 'im nothing without her' is that im an empty person without her. shes what makes my life complete

she makes me confident with my self and when im with her im really happy with myself and everything

and as for talent and skills, im not sure if 6 years of guitar counts? =] she says that she likes me playing guitar cus it gives me something to do when were not together or when shes doign external exams or something.

as a couple we've been told we're really good together. i have my friends aswell, but id really like to take my relationship with Emma to the next level.

[marnold***]

i cant actually see how engagement would change my life in any way? it can be broken off in a snap anyway, its not been legally binding since the early 70s if in correct.

Well, if engagement isn't going to change your life and can be broken in a snap then what's the point? It becomes totally meaningless. It's an empty gesture. So basically you gain nothing and you risk the ire of the parents.

The only benefit as far as I can see of the western concept of engagement is to alert families to prepare for a wedding. I always encourage the members of my congregation to keep engagements as brief as possible. In my experience, unnecessarily long engagements lead to trouble. They tend to come when either the couple is ill-prepared for marriage or one of the two really aren't that sure about the whole arrangement.

[Spudman***]

what i mean by 'im nothing without her' is that im an empty person without her. shes what makes my life complete

she makes me confident with my self and when im with her im really happy with myself and everything

That's what I'm saying. You'd better get a complete life on your own. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be with a person that isn't already confident with them self and complete already? Any person that isn't complete is needy. That is not a good person to be in a relationship with. It drains the other person to always be providing to the needy one. Not very fair if you ask me.

[Bloozcat]

You'd better get your act together and fast, ibanezjunkie, or Emma will be gone before you know what happened. I don't know any intelligent, motivated, women who'd stick around long with a drifter of a guy with no goals...with the exception of those with deep seated co-dependancy/enabler/psychological issues.

It's all love and kisses, fun and games, life is grand, for you now ij. But this sounds like a serious young woman. It won't be long before her emotional maturity catches up to her intellectual maturity.

To keep her because she's the right woman, you'd better make sure that you're the right man...

[sumitomo]

Ibanezjunkie these guys are not getting down on you,even though is seems like it.This is good advice from experience.I had many people give me advice when I was young and blew them off because I knew better,I paid for some of those choices.Bloozcat said something cool.To work hard to become the right person.Well I hope you consider some of the advice these guys are offering you cause I know they are comming from experience are the care.Sumi