More band woes - this time my story :-(

[deeaa*]

Yes, sometimes you do have to sacrifice some of the family time for your own projects and such, can't be helped, but in your situation it's not an option.

I can understand very well, I also have a soon month-old baby here. And he also cries a lot at nights.

So I basically go to work in the morning, come home and tidy up and do the dishes and household chores and cook dinner, then watch the kids till midnight and try to surf and something when I can in between while my wife tries to get some sleep. I almost don't even see her any more :-) because we have this system we take turns. She minds the kids all night and morning so I can get six hours of sleep and I take care of the rest when not working so she gets some rest.

I do go to band practice or something once or twice a week, but that's like 2 hours away from home max.

I could never go to a gig right now. Having small children is pure hell for a month or two but well worth it in the end :-)

[Lev]

Thanks for the support guys. Under normal circumstances this wouldn't be a problem, we had our first daughter 18months ago and although she cried quite a bit she slept well and allowed us to continue with a relatively normal life. This time Mia cries a huge amount and sleeps very little (no more than 2 hours at a time). So we are all exhausted and trying to work 12 hour days on top of it.

The good news is that she has shown some signs of improvement over the past few days so maybe she's over the worst of it. Most babies get over this within the first 3 month hence I couldn't commit to gigs until the new year.

[deeaa*]

Well I wish you luck and strenght with it! 4 me it's easy now that the older son is almost 5 already and sleeps 8 to seven like clockwork plus my work takes only 4-6 hours daily and my wife's at home. And still it feels damned hard at times!

With the first one, I was hard at work with lots of commuting and was away from home from before six until six in the evening and I gotta tell you, I don't even really remember much anything of the first year. I have vague recollections of watching over my son at night and wondering what weird alien that actually is, LOL :-) I really didn't get with the program at all until well into the second year. It was like walking in a haze, I felt very little connection with my family really at that time due to work stress and lack of sleep etc. yet a strong sense of worry for them all the time. But the second year, totally different. And with the new kid, I'm ecstatic about it right from the start & my kids are the whole world for me now. It just took a while for it to sink in with all the hassle back then.

Also, it's taught me I should never ever work for more than 8 hours a day including commuting time if there is any way I can get less hours to work. It just ain't worth it to me to spend most of the time off from the family. So I'll drive an old clunker and never travel; it's worth it.

Currently I'm good with a little less than 9 months working a year and usually like 14-20 hours a week and a mile to work, so couldn't be happier!