Is your wife/husband causing you to play less?

[sunvalleylaw]

Yeah, there's nothing like having to pick with a banana or Polly Pocket doll or whatever random thing they run up to you with and demand that you use it to play the guitar.

I prefer Bionicle parts as picks, say as compared to Littlest Pet shop dolls. The bionicle weapons are pretty effective and look cool. But when my 6 year old daughter and I played yesterday (she is trying to learn, and sings along anyway while she holds her guitar and sometimes strums the strings), she shared with me one of her new favorite special picks she got in her stocking, pink Fender celluloids with palm trees on them.

[marnold***]

You can't get decent tone from a Bionicle part since they moved to a different factory. You need to find NOS Bionicles.

[Commodore 64***]

I use Mossman in lieu of a fuzz pedal.

[mainestratman]

This topic is a fairly sore subject for me.. my second ex-wife hated me playing... I think someone else had mentioned something about his wife disapproving of anything that didn't make her money to spend.. yeah, that was her... and she really hated that while I was on stage really HAWT chicks would DARE talk to me. That led to me selling everything except my acoustic. Bye-bye, great equipment. I couldn't handle the arguments.

Next girlfriend was mostly supportive, except I could "play better" than her and she held it against me. During my time with her is when I got my replacement "upgrades" and we amassed a collection of 12 or 13 guitars, which we eventually sold off most of in order to pay the mortgage (see about about her spending money thing).

Currently, I've kept my equipment to a bare minimum. Everything I have I use when I play.. okay, unless I'm playing my acoustic.. but my g/f is REALLY supportive, and will follow me to open mics and auditions and practices and while the other "band wives" are sitting around and *****ing about their respective men playing music and not making money for them to spend, my girl is dancing.. off by herself, in her own little world, dancing to the music that I'm making.. whether solo acoustic or as a part of a band. She encourages me to practice (but I have to wait until she gets home so she can jam), and is happy to spend hours listen to me noodle.

Oh.. and she likes to fish. And drink beer. And watch football. And makes the best nachos ever.

Boys.. I think I have a keeper. :-D

[peachhead***]

As long as I'm working on my household projects, my wife seems to be much more tolerant of my taking time to play. I'm not playing as much, but it seems to be a fair compromise.

[t_ross33]

Oh.. and she likes to fish. And drink beer. And watch football. And makes the best nachos ever.

Boys.. I think I have a keeper. :-D

uhm... better check and make sure "she" ain't a dude, Dude

jk... Mrs. T and I have had many discussions about my obsession with music, and for the most part, she's very supportive. As long as I don't neglect the children, do my part around the house and use some of my gig income for family stuff (and not all going back into more gear)... she's cool.

And I know I have a keeper

[Bloozcat]

This topic is a fairly sore subject for me.. my second ex-wife hated me playing... I think someone else had mentioned something about his wife disapproving of anything that didn't make her money to spend.. yeah, that was her... and she really hated that while I was on stage really HAWT chicks would DARE talk to me. That led to me selling everything except my acoustic. Bye-bye, great equipment. I couldn't handle the arguments.

Next girlfriend was mostly supportive, except I could "play better" than her and she held it against me. During my time with her is when I got my replacement "upgrades" and we amassed a collection of 12 or 13 guitars, which we eventually sold off most of in order to pay the mortgage (see about about her spending money thing).

Mental note to self: Give wife an extra hug and great big kiss tonight...

[BigBadWolf1171]

my other half likes to hear me play, although i think its so she can spend more time playing on the PC without me complaining lol. but in all she doesnt mind unless it gets to loud. Her biggest gripe is over the cost of gear, she feels that if im not a professional player making money with it why spend so much money on it..(but will think nothing of spending twice the amount on jewerly).while i wont go and spend 5000$ on an amp or guitar, i will buy what i need to, to get the sound im after.but all in all shes semi supportive in my playing.

[Mister Boston]

Good question. I'd say that since getting married 2.5 years ago I play and practice around the house as much as I ever did. Or at least I'd say that my decision of whether or not I play has very little to do with the wife.

However I'm definitely not NEARLY as heavily involved in bands as I was 5 years ago in my mid 20s. The more involved I've got in my relationship with my lady the less time (and TBH patience) I've had with hanging around with the lazy-arse, slacker, bachelor ruffians I used to jam with more frequently. I guess it's a question of priorities. I'll NEVER stop playing guitar, and I'll never stop wanting to improve and learn more. BUT, the older I get I find the less I'm inclined to just pal around with guys and jam for no particular purpose. I'm almost 31. About once a month I have a group of guys I hang out with, jam, drink whiskey, and raise hell 'til the wee hours of the morning. It used to be at least once a week. Most of my playing nowadays is about practicing on my own and writing songs; and that's fine with me. Now and then I just wanna cut loose with the boys, but for the most part I'm not missing that being such a BIG part of my life as it was several years ago.

[Mister Boston]

my other half likes to hear me play, although i think its so she can spend more time playing on the PC without me complaining lol. but in all she doesnt mind unless it gets to loud. Her biggest gripe is over the cost of gear, she feels that if im not a professional player making money with it why spend so much money on it..(but will think nothing of spending twice the amount on jewerly).while i wont go and spend 5000$ on an amp or guitar, i will buy what i need to, to get the sound im after.but all in all shes semi supportive in my playing.

Yeah my wife doesn't understand why I NEED more guitars. I already have a decent Les Paul and a KILLER Strat. She occasionally gives me "the face" when I talk about saving money up for a Tele, and eventually the ES-339 of my dreams. She does have a point; I'm not making any money with this "hobby" of mine, so why do I really need so much gear. Isn't 2 very nice guitars enough for a passionate hobbyist?

When these minor squabbles rise to the surface I ask her to go around the house and make a mental note of the money, time, and storage space dedicated to her shoes, hand-bags, clothing, and cosmetic products. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY attracted to my wife, and I want her to get all dolled up occasionally and feel attractive and confident. But does she really NEED all the products that go into this? Probably not. This point usually stops our guitar gear conversations pretty quickly.

I mean if she can go out a few times a year and spend $75 on a haircut, can she REALLY give me a hard time about spending $150 on a wah pedal I could very easily have for many years? If she has 50 pairs of shoes is it REALLY that big a deal that I have a 100 watt Egnater head and 2x12 cab? If she's going to drop $2500+ this coming year on a full-back tattoo, is my desire for an ash Tele really that unreasonable?

[BigBadWolf1171]

Yeah my wife doesn't understand why I NEED more guitars. I already have a decent Les Paul and a KILLER Strat. She occasionally gives me "the face" when I talk about saving money up for a Tele, and eventually the ES-339 of my dreams. She does have a point; I'm not making any money with this "hobby" of mine, so why do I really need so much gear. Isn't 2 very nice guitars enough for a passionate hobbyist?

When these minor squabbles rise to the surface I ask her to go around the house and make a mental note of the money, time, and storage space dedicated to her shoes, hand-bags, clothing, and cosmetic products. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY attracted to my wife, and I want her to get all dolled up occasionally and feel attractive and confident. But does she really NEED all the products that go into this? Probably not. This point usually stops our guitar gear conversations pretty quickly.

I mean if she can go out a few times a year and spend $75 on a haircut, can she REALLY give me a hard time about spending $150 on a wah pedal I could very easily have for many years? If she has 50 pairs of shoes is it REALLY that big a deal that I have a 100 watt Egnater head and 2x12 cab? If she's going to drop $2500+ this coming year on a full-back tattoo, is my desire for an ash Tele really that unreasonable?

i couldnt agree more. i approached the convo with my lady in a different way, as she recently (at the time) bought a new pontiac solstice. i mentioned something about a new amp and she went on her usual rant about saving money for later in life etc... when i returned fire with "youll buy 5 amps with the hiked insurance cost alone and not to mention the new car payment" as her old car 90 something honda was in good condition she just wanted something new, which i totally understand.she kinda just glared at me, searching for something to say (was funny) and realized my point. the problem is she doesnt realize theres a difference between the peavey windsor i own or a marshall,randall,fender or any other high dollar amp, to her a tube is a tube is a tube..and honestly i dont think she has any interest in knowing my hobby, other then listening to me play.i never did get the new amp as i found out it was more my lack of playing skill as it was the amp sucked.but sooner or later ....

[tjcurtin1]

As I was paging through the MF catalog that came today, my wife, passing by, looked over my shoulder and said, with a tone of mock horror, "Oh my god, you're not getting a tube head now, are you!?" It took a second for me to realize that she had no idea what a 'tube head' was but had seen one on the page - but before I could say anything, she said, "Is that like a sub-woofer?", which is a 20 year old joke she STILL pulls out, in reference to a long-ago piece of audio gear! Wives never forget anything that they can bomb you with when useful....

EDIT: I should have added that we both ended with a good laugh - but then, she hasn't picked up on the new Squier CV yet...... another advantage to buying local over UPS

[Childbride]

we are both Blessed.

we stay out of each other's way.

neither gives the other grief. and playing together is a beautiful thing.

Auriemma... omg. Murphy's story...

i'm going to go and p/u Maggie and love her more than i already have tonight.

[street music]

As I was paging through the MF catalog that came today, my wife, passing by, looked over my shoulder and said, with a tone of mock horror, "Oh my god, you're not getting a tube head now, are you!?" It took a second for me to realize that she had no idea what a 'tube head' was but had seen one on the page - but before I could say anything, she said, "Is that like a sub-woofer?", which is a 20 year old joke she STILL pulls out, in reference to a long-ago piece of audio gear! Wives never forget anything that they can bomb you with when useful....

I got that stare yesterday when I walked in and handed her the mail, I didn't notice that MF had sent me a second copy of the new catalog. What do you want to do with this?" I said give it to a friend, I order on line." After a quite few minutes she returned to finish a meal.

[ka9-o-caster]

my girlfriend is very supportive of my playing, she actually just got me a digitech rp355 processor, but she prefers i play with bose closed-back headphones.

[Auriemma]

we are both Blessed.

we stay out of each other's way.

neither gives the other grief. and playing together is a beautiful thing.

Auriemma... omg. Murphy's story...

i'm going to go and p/u Maggie and love her more than i already have tonight.

and Murphy's story doesn't include his last 2 years fighting leukemia. He was worth it.
Anyway... love'm while you got'em!

[Galactic God]

My wife encourages me. I'll just rock out and headbang, and she'll just make "devil horns" and play along. I do try to practice a fair bit and she definitely notices when there's an improvement in my playing.

[jpfeifer]

I have to say that there aren't very many musicians that I know who have a spouse that is extremely supportive. I think that it depends on lots of factors. Life is a constant balancing act. So long as you give your spouse and kids the time that they need, then they should allow you to have your time for the music too. But for most of us, myself included, it's very easy to feel that we don't have enough time for our music, and the spouse is often the bad cop, who is telling you that you need more family time.

For me, this situation has been getting better over the years as my kids get older and more independent. It also helps when I'm spending my music time on something that brings in some extra money. I remind my wife on occasion, "just be glad that I don't play golf, because it would probably cost the same, but I'd never make any money with it" :-)

But I have to say that I've fared pretty well. My wife is a singer, and we have played together for a long time, since our college days. She understands what music means to me, and she knows that I get grumpy and depressed when I don't get to play enough (she doesn't like to see me that way). My wife may complain on occasion if I'm spending too much time on my music, and she may never allow me to get body piercings and join a heavy metal band :-) , but then again she bought my Martin for me way back when I graduated from college, and she bought a few of my other instruments for me, just when I needed that boost. I think that I'm a pretty lucky guy, and I think that she keeps me balanced.

--Jim

[guitardan777]

Because it's a matter of balancing quality time w/ the family and my music, if I need to play more, then I just get up early or stay up late. But no restrictions coming from the wife. She works a few evenings during the week, so I get to crank it up when I need to. Plus my teenagers are getting into music as of late, and they drive me to play more when I'm teaching them stuff. #1 son plays Guitar, #2 son plays drums.