Teaching Your Own Child....

[warren0728]

het fretters....i had started teaching conner guitar but thought he would benefit from professional lessons. So i signed him up and he is playing his guitar alot less than before (when i was showing him how). I asked him about it today he he said he really wants me to teach him.

I'm not a very accomplished guitarist and have bever had formal lessons myself. I do have the books his instructor had us by.... along with some other materials.

Looking for opinions here...do i force him to keep taking pro lessons (figuring he'll come around) or do i attempt to teach him myself. I don't have a problem teaching him....the more time i spend with my kids the better....i just thought he would benefit more from formal lessons.

thoughts?

ww

[Robert****]

I'd say you teach him. He needs to be motivated in order to learn, and if he wants you to teach him, that'll keep him more motivated than more pro lessons that he doesn't enjoy.

Guitar is all about having fun! If you have fun, you'll learn.

In fact, it might make you a better player yourself, because you'll be motivated to give him the best instruction you can, which might lead you to spend more time looking at books and websites and of course practice playing guitar.

[Nelskie]

Excellent response, Robert. Your words mirror my thoughts exactly. ww - I think part of what motivated your son to play before formal lessons was: 1.) Getting to spend time with you, and 2.) That your son knew that hearing him play was very pleasing to you. Believe me, you can give him much more musically than you think. And like Robert said, it can benefit your playing as well. Here's a tip: pick out a song that both you and he like, and then learn it together.

[warren0728]

pick out a song that both you and he like, and then learn it together.

my problem is where do i start...do i teach him open chords first and let him play rhythm....and worry about reading music and theory somewhere down the road....or start with theory and such right away. This is why i started him on lessons because i wasn't sure how to "teach" him. He would prefer i teach him (and i don't have a problem doing it...just not sure about the correct approach)

His instructor is starting with reading music and he hasn't really played much...just trying to memorize the notes and such....which i think is boring him (at 9 what he wants is to learn to play music)....but i don't think he is into the actual step by step learning process....

any suggestions on the best approach to take with a 9 year old?

ww

[warren0728]

i had a long talk with conner and he says he feels more comfortable with me teaching him.....this doesn't surprise me, he is a shy, kinda self conscious kid (the exact opposite of his sister).

I think for now i am going to teach him....gonna research the best way to go about it. I have the books his instructor had us buy and i also have the fretboard logic books which work on the CAGED system.

Thanks for your input...my hope is that i can teach him enough to get hbis confidence level high enough that he will want to pursue it more. He is only 9 so i don't want to force him to take lessons from somewhere else and turn him off to music altogether!

ww

[aeolian]

I have tried to teach my children to play guitar over the last year. My daughter who is 12 occasionally gets up some enthusiasm to learn. I taught her a couple of chords, but she hasn't practiced. My son is 10 and has not shown much interest in music yet, so trying to teach him is even harder.

With my daughter we find a song that she is familiar with and that we can play with open chords and that's where we start. Last year she was in school band and played clarinet for a year. During that time she learned how to read music so now she has basic understanding of music theory. Having this knowledge really helps. Now all I have to do is get her really interested in playing guitar.

aeolian

[jpfeifer]

Hi Warren,

I taught my oldest daughter on-an-off for about the past 2 years. There's definitely a good side and a bad side to teaching your own kids.

On the good side, they are more comfortable and at ease with you as the teacher. You also know them better than an instructor would and can tailor your lessons to suit their skill level and interests.

On the down side, because your kids are more comfortable with you, they are more likely to complain to you about practicing or just tuning out when you ask them to do something. With an outside instructor they're more likely to do what they're asked and not push back because they're afraid of getting into trouble with the instructor. Not so with me (maybe I'm too easy on them?)

Overall, I would much prefer to teach my own kids when it comes to guitar. I've worked with my daughter on a lot of different things over the past few years. She was very excited when she could play a few Beatle songs by herself. We also started learning some songs by some groups that she likes too. However her interest in guitar has dropped off in favor of her other passion which is karate.

If you do teach your own kids, one way to get them motivated is to teach a few of their other friends too. When I started teaching a few more kids on Saturdays my daughter started to practice more because she was afraid of being left behind by the other kids who were taking lessons with me.

-- Jim

[Spudman***]

Solution: offer him $5 to learn a lead from a song and to teach it to you. Problem solved. If money doesn't motivate him try...hmmm...what exactly do 9 year old boys like?

[warren0728]

I've talked with a couple of friends in the biz and I think it would be better for someone else to teach him....i don't have any real musical training and no theory training at all (i might start taking lessons too!) My concern is that he has seemed to have lost interest since starting his lessons, while when i was showing him some open chords and a petatonic scale he was into it.

I am going to look for a different teacher and might try to find one to come here to give the lessons...it will make conner more comfortable than going to an environment where others are around and can hear him....

I explained to conner that although he thinks i am a good player, i am an amateur and not qualified to teach him correctly....he understands but still said he would be more comfortable with me teaching him...so that also makes me think the problem is with his instructor...

thanks again for everyone's responses....this truly is a great forum!!

ww

[aeolian]

Warren, I think you should reconsider teaching him yourself. Look at it this way, if you can play reasonably good without knowing much about theory, you can teach him to play reasonably well too. When he is just starting to learn, theory probably is more confusing than it helps. After he has learned to play basic chords and some songs, maybe that'd be the time to start theory.

I actually encourage you to take lessons on theory, and then you teach him what you've learned. Believe me, if you have to explain it, you'll learn it well yourself. And that will help both you and him. Don't be scared of theory. In order to understand the basic theory like what chords go with what scale, even I can teach you that in a few hours. It is not rocket science unless you want to go into much more advanced stuff.

aeolian

[jpfeifer]

Hi Warren,

Don't sell yourself short. You may take your guitar skills for granted, but you may still have a lot that you can show him. You don't necessarily have to be a music theory expert to teach him to enjoy guitar. But you do have to have patience and a love for playing guitar.

It sounds like his current teacher is trying to force feed him on the sight reading and theoretical stuff first. For some players this is o.k. if they're really into that. But for a lot of people this turns them off right away.

For beginners I try to get them to play a few basic songs first to build up their confidence. Then I build from there, continuing to find new basic tunes for them to learn. I found a great website for guitar teachers where you can find a lot of good tips and teaching materials for beginners:
http://www.teachguitar.com/
Look under the resources area and you will find some decent beginning chord diagrams, etc. They even have lesson plans that you can purchase with teacher notes. There's a song called "Single String Boogie" that you can find on this site. It's a very basic excercise that sounds kind of like "Green Onions". The notes are all on the same string. You can play the accompiment for it (just a basic rock groove). Student really like this one because it's easy to play. From this tune I usually have them learn "Wipeout". I created a version of that song that makes it very easy to play with just a couple of strings. I also play the chords behind the students so that they have fun playing the melody. After these songs, then I start showing them some basic open position chords and go from there.

If you decide that you still don't want to teach him then I would look for a different instructor. You current instructor sounds like he has one method that he uses with every student which is not the right way to go about it in my opinion.

-- Jim

[marnold***]

I'm of the opinion that starting kids on guitar by teaching them to read music is the surest way to turn something cool into something tedious, especially the way the God-awful Mel Bay books went about it. I used the Metal Method basic course to teach myself. Doug Marks (the author) is revising the course right now. The new lessons are called "Stages". As he was going through the revising of the beginning of the course, he was teaching a nine-year-old. I'm going to use Stage One to teach my son. This page has the details on what Stage One covers.

The course is geared toward hard rock/classic rock, but the techniques are applicable to many other styles as well. My $.02. When I get Stages One and Two for my son, I'll probably get Speed Kills 2 for myself. I must needs figure out how to do sweep arpeggios

[6STRINGS 9LIVES]

Warren , I sorta had the same dilema a few monts back , teaching my young neice her first chords .. had some great suggestions from the gang round here , the suggestions that seemed to work best were to keep the fun factor in mind all the time , i asked her what songs she would like to learn to play , her interest in green day was all that was needed to set her on the path to fun and has kept her interest to this point .. simple songs , simple chords and quick results seem to work great ... good luck ...

[warren0728]

thanks for all the suggestions and input....6S9L...conner is into greenday too...did you find the songs on the internet or just listen to them and figure them out?

I've heard their songs and they sure don't sound too complicated!!

ww

[Tone2TheBone]

thanks for all the suggestions and input....6S9L...conner is into greenday too...did you find the songs on the internet or just listen to them and figure them out?

I've heard their songs and they sure don't sound too complicated!!

ww

*sings like Billie Joe*..."I wanna be the minority....I don't need your authority...down with the moral majority cause I wanna be the minority..."

The most fun a kid will have learning easy chords! +1

[6STRINGS 9LIVES]

There is a site called http://www.chordie.com, it has thousands of songs and chords and diagrams of the chords for each song along with tab , we went there and selected a couple of songs she wanted to learn and printed off the sheets , we then sat down and listened to the song and then i showed her the meter of the tune and the strum pattern and she was off , she loved having the sheets to refer to on her own time , it realy helped , according to her mom she spends an hour or so in her room with the door closed playing those couple of songs , then calls me to have a listen and bristles with pride at her progress, the sheets let her learn without any embarassment and at her own pace ..it seems to work Warren ..

[Tone2TheBone]

There is a site called http://www.chordie.com, it has thousands of songs and chords and diagrams of the chords for each song along with tab , we went there and selected a couple of songs she wanted to learn and printed off the sheets , we then sat down and listened to the song and then i showed her the meter of the tune and the strum pattern and she was off , she loved having the sheets to refer to on her own time , it realy helped , according to her mom she spends an hour or so in her room with the door closed playing those couple of songs , then calls me to have a listen and bristles with pride at her progress, the sheets let her learn without any embarassment and at her own pace ..it seems to work Warren ..

Thats awesome. She shows a real interest in it! I hope one of my daughter's does someday because I don't want all my guitars and amps going to waste. Thanks for that link....I'll show that to my oldest.

[warren0728]

cool...just bookmarked the site!

thanks,
ww

[Katastrophe]

You can do it, man! Take your time and stop when he gets frustrated. My stepdaughter (she's nine) will come up, guitar in hand, and ask me a question from time to time. I'll show her a new chord, and then she's satisfied, and it doesn't tax her attention span too much.

Just a guess as well, but I think Conner might enjoy the quality time spent with Dad, too, and if that gives him motivation to learn, go for it!