Lame Lyrics

[tjcurtin1]

As a spin-off to Sunvalley's post 'A Dare', what are some of the worst/cheesiest/lamest lyrics in your book? Bad/cheap rhymes, throw away lines, or just plain goofy.

I'll follow this with another related thread on 'What I THOUGHT they were singing..."

For starters: Even back in high school, we thought that we would have been embarrassed to have penned 'Boris the Spider'... and I mentioned the words to 'Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress' in SVL's thread.

[FrankenFretter***]

The lyrics to any KISS song are pretty weak, for the most part. Somehow they make it work, but the lyrics all sound like something a seventh grade boy would write.

[marnold***]

The lyrics to the average rock song are going to be lame (or at least shallow). Rock is more about attitude than content. Obviously there are some notable exceptions, viz. Iron Maiden.

[FrankenFretter***]

The lyrics to the average rock song are going to be lame (or at least shallow). Rock is more about attitude than content. Obviously there are some notable exceptions, viz. Iron Maiden.

Word.

[markb]

Toto, Africa

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

Of course "company" rhymes with "Serengeti", dear boy Apart from that, just general nonsense. It doesn't scan very well either.

Marnold has a point, though

[sunvalleylaw]

Pretty much any "soft hits of the seventies" song would qualify in my book.

"Brandi, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be . . . and such like that.

Other example: "I learned the truth at 17, that love was meant for beauty queens." Oh Please! There are some worse ones, but my mind is blocking them.

Duran Duran "Rio" is pretty lame too.

[Tig***]

Pretty much any "soft hits of the seventies" song would qualify in my book.
There are some worse ones, but my mind is blocking them.

Let's unblock them... It will feel like nails being hammered into your brain, only worse!

And now, Eric Carmen's "All By Myself"

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

Edit: Replaced album cover...
The horror!

[Eric***]

We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown
The final countdown

Ohh
We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
'Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yea
With so many light years to go and things to be found
(To be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

It's the final countdown
The final countdown
The final countdown
(The final countdown)
Ohh ho ohh

It's the final countdown
We're leaving together
The final countdown
We'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown
(The final countdown)
Ohh, it's the final countdown
Yea

--

I'd also like to nominate two other songs for dumbest lyrics ever:

Train - Drops of Jupiter
LFO - Summer Girls

...this wasn't music we actually listen to, was it? If so, you can throw out all three of these songs.

[sunvalleylaw]

Let's unblock them... It will feel like nails being hammered into your brain, only worse!

And now, Eric Carmen's "All By Myself"

Oh man you nailed it, right into my brain. That was one of them. The horror!

[Tig***]

The Beatles
Revolution 9

Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine
Number nine, number nine, number...

[mainestratman]

Def Leppard was never known for their lyrics..

Do you take sugar? One lump or two?

lol

[marnold***]

Pretty much any "soft hits of the seventies" song would qualify in my book.

Agreed, but whenever one of those Time-Life infomercials come on, I cannot change the channel. For my money that's the best entertainment on T.V.

[Tig***]

One lump or two?

Maybe they were inspired after growing up watching the Three Stooges?
Any time "one lump or two" was spoken, out came the hammer!

[FrankenFretter***]

Def Leppard was never known for their lyrics..

Do you take sugar? One lump or two?

lol

I thought that was Bugs Bunny talking to Peter Puma...

[mainestratman]

Heh heh heh