Yes of course I mean 'I'...

I guess, the thing is...if we just played some covers and easy tunes, blues and such, it'd maybe be nice...but, I tend to make all songs so difficult to play even after a dozen times of practice I still find it very hard to play my own stuff. Same with vocals; I should just sing in a natural scale and take it easy, but, boy, whenever I make songs they turn out so I'm constantly having to REALLY squeeze it to make it work...and then you find you have to play 14 of these songs you can usually only play and sing properly on the best of days...it's a horrible feeling. You know, like the whole idea of some song might be the chorus is built on this long crazy screaming thing over just one chord...only it goes like 2 octaves higher than my natural range. I can usually do that...but IF I can't pull it out live, the whole song is completely just...nothing, just sad grinding. So, yeah, I do worry about my voice working.

And, you know, I know like 95% of the audience will be band guys and also players/singers...like always on these gigs...sometimes it seems nobody ever comes to watch rock bands except competing bands and players....so it's like a room filled with 'rock police' who will eagerly comment on what you did and how and what went a little bad etc, if also something good as well.