Gig/weekend report w/usual goofy-*ss pix

[deeaa*]

I dunno - it's not that it's scary to rock out or what other people might think - it's just that it makes me personally feel stupid. I don't move an extra muscle when I'm playing in training, or move anything special etc. so I feel like I'm faking it if I were to do it on stage - and that fake aspect is what makes me feel awkward. If I never do such things naturally or alone, I don't feel secure trying to do something like that live either.

I guess, I used to mosh out some when I was in my teens, and at least when very drunk, but...I don't usually much more than maybe nod my head slightly but approvingly to other bands either, if I watch them live. No reason to cause a commotion. I never understood watching sports either and why do people have to make such a racket watching games - why can't they just sit quietly and enjoy the game :-)

True story, kinda related...once the band was auctioning for a bassist. Had some auditions. Plan was to play a Metallica song, Sanitarium or something, so the auditees would know the song. Anyway this bassist comes up...seems like a cool guy...but then when the band plays and the song starts going, he starts suddenly waving his hair and jumping in place and generally acting as if playing live...the band members just watched in astonishment and one by one quit playing because they were laughing so hard, and the bassist guy was the last to stop...he realized everyone else had quit playing and were laughing with tears in their eyes, and he just picked up his gear and left without saying a word :-)

[Eric***]

I dunno - it's not that it's scary to rock out or what other people might think - it's just that it makes me personally feel stupid.

You know, I think you touched on some decent points in there as to why you are the way you are (practical, fear of failure, etc.), and I think there's something else that might be at play in all of this: cynicism. It's possible you don't want to really let loose or try because you're afraid of the judgment, which sometimes is a reflection of how you would view yourself or how you view others. I feel that a lot of the time, and a lot of your words sound familiar to me (well, except for the atheism part). I mean, you already kind of touched on it with the part about being afraid to commit yourself to something 100%.

Dunno. Just an idea. I like your idea of embracing the difficult times and the bad parts of life. It's too easy to forget the contrast and appreciate the present when you have been through crap, much less when you haven't. I think embracing things like loss, hardship, etc. really bring the blessings of life into focus that much more. It's something I'm trying to realize more as I get older, particularly now when life is kind of tough.

[Eric***]

Sorry to go all philosophical and drift from the original thread, BK. I think it's my lot in life to be a thread derailer.