Thanks Eric...you know I have often pondered what is it that keeps me writing and making music, although the last thing I'd want is to be well known and so on. I believe it's the immortality aspect - since I'm a total atheist, I have this urge to leave something, or, rather, as much as I can behind me, when I vanish one day. But that doesn't explain all of it. I've thought about it long and hard - am I just after all simply scared of committing myself 100% to something out of fear it might not work out after all? If I did all I could to make a hit song and give it all on stage, and it didn't work - well that would be a downer for sure, but I honestly don't know if that's a reason enough to not go for it full blast. Probably a combination of both.
Probably also my always practical and utilitarian view on things - I'm leery of going for things I don't absolutely need. Maybe partly my Lutheran upbringing, where from I've got this strong desire to always be straight and honest, and not to pursue things in excess, and reinforced with a certain affection to slight existential masochism that reassures me I do exist. I am big on believing in a kind of balance...if there is no bad things, the good becomes bad. You know? I think no matter how things are, people tend to have a need to feel bad. If you take some poor fella in 3rd world with a really really tough life...he can still be happy at times. Take some rich person with no real problems...who's to say he doesn't, at personal level, have just as dark moments, only grossly disproportionate to the issue - such as missing a deadline or breaking a nail even. When things are well, small things become huge and vice versa. That's why I strive to have a sort of balance in life - I accept the bad and more like welcome it and take it as a blessing - what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
I should get to bed and leave the 6th beer in the fridge...LOL
Dee
"When life's a biatch, be a horny dog"
Amps: Marshall JVM 410H w/ Plexi Cap mod, Choke Mod & Negative Feedback Removal mod, 4x12", Behringer GMX110, Amplitube 3/StealthPedal
Half a dozen custom built/bastardized guitars all with EMG's, mostly 85's, Ibanez Artwood acoustic & Yamaha SGR bass, Epiphone Prophecy SG, Vox Wah, Pitchblack tuner plus assorted pedals, rack gear etc. for home studio use.
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