Teenagers

[Tim]

LOL !!! Sneaking in the closet to talk on the phone after hours. Oh yes I remember that one. Just remember if the phone conversation seem so private that it can not be done in front of you, its because she is most likely talking to her girl friend and they are having a discussion about a boy in school that they both like. I’ll take 10 of my sons to one daughter. Hold on it’s going to be a …fun ride.

There are two pieces of information (as a well seasoned dad) that I can provide. 1) No matter what happens, stay calm. Remember they are your children and all they really want is your love no matter how they act. 2) It will all pass away. Some take 2 years, some take 10 years, some take 20 years, others we marry. LOLRL (laugh out loud really loud)

[Tone2TheBone]

Tim - The one redeeming factor in all this is I'm glad she's not "out there" doing God knows what with God knows whom. Even when she spends every waking hour on the phone...at least she's home with US. Things could be far worse. Thats how I've looked at it.

I do have to watch myself though because I can be a tough dad. By this I mean I have to watch myself for MY sake. The sake of my sanity and health! I'm moreso tough on the kids with discipline than my wife is. Of course they're all women so it's probably different. I'm not saying I am a monster at home, what I'm saying is that I make dang sure my kids look me in the eye when I lay down the LAW and whatever I say goes. I always tell them (well mainly the teenager) that she can make her own decisions when she is over 18, but until then she lives by our rules whether she likes them or not.



I'm really a nice guy, honest.

[SuperSwede]

"out there"...

[Tone2TheBone]

SS - "out there" means beyond her bedroom window. btw you have a private message......

[Tim]

T2TB - I guess you can consider me as a tough dad also. A yes was a yes and a no was a no. No in-between with me. The best thing that two parents can do is to back each other up in all decisions concerning the children. But you must also be a team. When one parent is tough, the children should know that they can go and talk to the other one. But the answer must still remain the same. If the parents don’t, then the children learn how to manipulate them both. The one play the softer one can express that they will try to maybe shorten the sentence.

My kids are 21, 23, and 29. My son is in the middle and has 3 years in the Navy. He came to me this past Christmas visit and told me that he now understands why I was so tough on him to be truthful and live by his word. He actually thanked me for being tough and that he loved me for it. He said he now knows I did it out of love. Dang man I just got a tear in my eye. I’ll call this tear a tear of joy and happiness.

My oldest daughter who I adopted at 3 years of age had a problem when she found out the true story. She has talked with her real father and … well she did not like what she discovered. She since has told me that she is very glad I adopted her and is proud to call me her real father. Another joy in my life!

My youngest … well she isn’t quite there yet with the maturity, but she getting there. She has thanked me and testified that she is happy who her parents are. Out of all the friends she has known, we are the only parents she knows that are still married to each other. She still claims I was a little to tough on her. I told her that’s what she gets for being born last.

So even though times seem tough, there is a reward at the end when the children grow up and become adults. All they want you to do right now is love them, be there for them, but at a distance of course.

I had an old supervisor from years ago who gave me some of this same advice. He always ended his conversation by stating that the fruit does not fall far from the tree. Be a good tree and you will bear good fruit. I always held that close to my heart in tending with my children.

Now when we get together there's my wife and myself, my daughters and son and sons in law and 4 grandchildren (so far). Very happy times.

I hope I am not being a pain or a bore with all this information I am passing on. I will try to tone it down, but there are to many dysfunctional families out there and I want to help where and when I can. I came from and believe in family unity. Blood is thicker than water.

SS – get learned, if there is such a word. As T2TB stated “out there” is anywhere but where you are.

[Spudman***]

You guys have me FREAKING OUT! I've never been a dad and when I married my wife in July I never thought about this sweet little girl being a problem. Sure I imagined extra panties in the laundry, more closed bathroom doors for longer periods etc., but never did I think that I would have to again find places to hide little boys bodies. There is a lot of rock in the soil around here so it's really going to be a problem.

[Tim]

Didn't you younger guys and new dads ever hear the song "I am woman, hear me roar"?

[Tone2TheBone]

Helen Reddy!

Tim - if only the entire world were like you and me.

LOL and the rest of us cool music types! (ahem)

I agree with everything you said and in fact it echos my own personal philosophy along with my family's philosophy (my mom, my sister in law my sisters, uncles etc.) In fact just the other day I reminded someone in my family about blood being thicker than water. It was interesting to hear that from someone else so far away. I appreciated your post and it was in no way a bore.

Spud - LMAO

[Spudman***]

Helen! Another one of those crazy Canadians.

[Tim]

Spudman – LOL. I believe you just caused a crack in the Canadian/USA border wall. This should be very interesting to sit back and read the traffic you just created. This maybe an educational international incident. Maybe G.W. can help smooth this all out. Spuds, is it warming up out there yet?

[Spudman***]

It just dumped another 2-3 inches this morning and the wind is howling. Besides our two wonderful Canadians on thefret there isn't much there except some of the worlds best beer. I'd be pretty happy if they kept Celine Dion and never let her out.

[Tim]

You must be talking about 2-3 inches of rain. It rained a little here yesterday. The neighborhood kids where out playing in their shorts as it came down. After a few minutes the sun came out and dried up all the water left behind.

[Spudman***]

SNOW! 3 inches of S N O W ! What is rain? Is rain how to keep teenagers in the house?

[Tone2TheBone]

*laughs at Spud* Doesn't Celine have a permanent gig in Las Vegas or something?

[Tim]

Only if the casino can provide a portable humidier. She does not want the dry air to effect her voice. Ahh ! The screeming solo everybodys looking ofr.

[SuperSwede]

I would be happy to sell her one of the fine push-pull gain knobs. That way she can always have a screaming solo in her nécessaire.

[Katastrophe]

I don't know much about Celine Dion, except that she's an export that I wish Canada could keep...lol.

I have a soon to be nine year old stepdaughter at home that keeps me up at night worrying about. She's a great kid, super smart, with a wicked sense of humor. I'm gonna have to start beating the boys back with a shovel before too long, if we (her mom and I) don't decide to ship her off to a convent first!

[Tim]

Buy lots of shovels! The boys keep coming don't you know.

[SuperSwede]

Perhaps loading a shotgun with salt can hold the boys at a safe distance!