The Musician's Ultimate Joke Book

**warren0728** · March 28th, 2006, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by duhvoodooman

Rumor has it that it stems from Disraeli Gear's producer Felix Pappalardi drawing mustaches & beards on photos of a girlfriend he had recently broken up with. Poor old Felix had his share of "female trouble", huh? Especially on 4/17/83....

So where & when for this first gig, Warren??

hmmm that's not the story i heard....

ww

Spudman*** · March 28th, 2006, 04:47 PM

You are vewy cwever you little wrascal.

**tot_Ou_tard** · March 28th, 2006, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by duhvoodooman

Made a little "woman tone" of my own. Recorded using my LP and Delta Blues set up as described above. Sounds pretty close, to me. Any of you recognize that last little 9-note riff? Winner gets to answer the bonus question!

Attachment 153

Love that woman tone Voodoo thanks!

**Tim** · March 28th, 2006, 06:01 PM

Hey VooDoo - Great book. Sounds like it would make good reading material for the royal library. That's a good time for piece and quite and a good book.

**tot_Ou_tard** · March 28th, 2006, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by duhvoodooman

I still have no idea what I'd call the "brownest" song I ever heard. Not sure that question can really be answered--there are so many different shades of brown!!

That's a pretty decent band name or album title.

Shades of Brown.

I'm looking forward for the FretNet release of Shades of Brown on VooDoo Records.

duhvoodooman*** · March 29th, 2006, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by tot_Ou_tard

I'm looking forward for the FretNet release of Shades of Brown on VooDoo Records.

I dare say the critic's comments would be shades of brown, too--know what I mean, Vern?

Spudman*** · May 31st, 2006, 04:40 PM

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

duhvoodooman*** · May 31st, 2006, 05:11 PM

Q: What did one musician say to the other when he noticed the clever army officer standing nearby?

A: See, sharp major!

**Bloozcat** · June 1st, 2006, 06:48 AM

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a drummer?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

**Nelskie** · June 1st, 2006, 07:03 PM

Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless!

**jpfeifer** · June 1st, 2006, 07:11 PM

Q: How can you tell if a room is level?
A: Drool is coming out of both sides of the bass players mouth.

Q: Two musicans are in a car. Which one is driving?
A: The policeman

Q: What's the difference between a musician and a savings bond?
A: The savings bond eventually matures and starts earning money.

Q: How is a oboe like a class-action-lawsuit?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is finally closed.

Q: Whats the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
Q: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of them

Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
A: Put notes on the page. (Ouch!)

-- Jim

Spudman*** · June 1st, 2006, 08:00 PM

How do you cure GAS?

Switch to another forum.

**Tim** · October 30th, 2006, 06:00 AM

Well it's not music related, but I thought of Swede when I read it.

Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on
Dead Lake, fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a
sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife.
She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over.
Women like that are hard to find."

**SuperSwede** · October 30th, 2006, 08:28 AM

Lol.. thats a good one Tim.

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