The Musician's Ultimate Joke Book

[duhvoodooman***]

Took my son w/ me to today over to the local Guitar Center to pick up a couple of cables for my new amp, and he spotted the above titled book and had to have it. We've already gotten the $10 purchase prices back in belly laughs. Here's one that tickled me:

Q: What do you call somebody who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.

More to come. Many, many more....

[Katastrophe]

Q: How many drummers does it take to put in a lightbulb.







A: None. We have machines to do that now.

[duhvoodooman***]

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

And while I'm at it, let's not forget us guitarists:

Q: What do you call a guitar player with no girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

[SuperSwede]

Q How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Eight, one that changes the light bulb and seven that says that they could do it better.

[tot_Ou_tard]

Q How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Eight, one that changes the light bulb and seven that says that they could do it better.

How long does it take a guitarist to change a lightbulb?

...2 minutes per bulb and 3 days spent looking at the hue of the of the bulb and wondering whether he should put the GE Reveal back in or spring for a high quality NOS Sylvania 60 Watt.

I'd be playing my guitar right now, but ya'know those cheap production 60 watters have a harsh yellow hue to them & I am to busy fiddling with the dimmer switch to see if I can bring down the yellow without making the whole room too dark & muddy looking!

[Justaguyin_nc]

Q - Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?

A - So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

[tot_Ou_tard]

How long does it take a guitarist to change a lightbulb?

...2 minutes per bulb and 3 days spent looking at the hue of the of the bulb and wondering whether he should put the GE Reveal back in or spring for a high quality NOS Sylvania 60 Watt.

I'd be playing my guitar right now, but ya'know those cheap production 60 watters have a harsh yellow hue to them & I am to busy fiddling with the dimmer switch to see if I can bring down the yellow without making the whole room too dark & muddy looking!

I'd go florescent for the reliabilty, but they always look sooo florescently.

Are there any good hybrid incandescent/florescent bulbs? I am also in the market for a good flourescent modeling bulb, particularly if it can model a good handwired boutique bulb.



....ooooohhhh, look at the *SATURATION* when I crank the dimmer!

[tot_Ou_tard]

I'd go florescent for the reliabilty, but they always look sooo florescently.

Are the any good hybrid incandescent/florescent bulbs? I am also in the market for a good flourescent modeling bulb, particularly if it can model a good handwired boutique bulb.



....ooooohhhh, look at the *SATURATION* when I crank the dimmer!

There are some good modeling bulbs, but they usually get their color saturation from prefiliment clipping, for true rich color saturation you have to overload the filament itself!

[tot_Ou_tard]

There are some good modeling bulbs, but they usually get their color saturation from prefiliment clipping, for true rich color saturation you have to overload the filament itself!

By the way, does anyone know of a good 30 watt bulb that can achieve color saturation at low light levels? I'd like to use it in my bedroom without disturbing my wife.

[tot_Ou_tard]

Supposed I want to overdrive the filament in my bulb, I looking for smooth, rich, and creamy color saturation. I've heard that there are devices that will boost the power to the bulb. Is there any point to paying the premium for a two filament all incandescent boost? Or will a cheaper florescent booster work just as well?

[SuperSwede]

tot_Ou_tard, perhaps you should check out the kind of bulbs they use on fotball arenas. Very cozy light from those. I think you can get away with a 1500W system before the wife wakes up

[tot_Ou_tard]

Whhoooaaaa!! 1500 watts of pure bulby hue!!!!

--With this bulb I get no blazing solos

[tot_Ou_tard]

Ooooohhh, the *GLOW*!

[warren0728]

Supposed I want to overdrive the filament in my bulb, I looking for smooth, rich, and creamy color saturation. I've heard that there are devices that will boost the power to the bulb.

i think you are looking for the bad "moon"key device....produces a nice warm glow...especially around harvest time.

ww

[duhvoodooman***]

Just wait until a hot day this summer, when everybody is running their A/C. The power company won't be able to keep up, and a "brown-out" will occur. Brown is good. Very, very good. Guys pay big bucks for brown!

AAMOF, iit get's much browner around here, I don't know if I will be able to take it....

[tot_Ou_tard]

What is brown exactly?...Is it an acronym for edge of breakup? What is the brownest recorded song that you know & I'll listen to it.

I've spent my life enjoying music, but it wasn't until I started to play that I realized that I hadn't a clue about music. Never heard of a single coil or a humbucker before last fall and I *think* I understand what strat quack means. I play my fat strat like SD in the 2 & 4 notch & say to myself is that a duck? I think that's a duck.

Tele twang is easier.

Quak, quack, twang, twang...

'tard

[Spudman***]

You heard about the drummer that locked his keys in his car?
He had to break a window to get the bass player out.

[ZoSo65]

You heard about the drummer that locked his keys in his car?
He had to break a window to get the bass player out.

LOL,,I know a couple people that will really enjoy that one.

[duhvoodooman***]

Q: What did the drummer get on his SAT's?

A: Drool.