Q:how many blues musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:none, they can't afford the lights
Q:how many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light blb?
Q:wanna go ride bikes?
guy's walking to a bar, when all of a sudden a mobnkey starts following him, he gets in the bar and the monkey starts going crazy, and eventually eats one of the balls from the pool table, and the man, with the monkey, is forced to leave. A week later the man comes back, with the monkey, and he returns the ball from the pool table and apologises for what the monkey did, and he is alowed to stay, when the two watch the monkey take a peanut, put it up his rear, then take it out and eat it, then the bartender says "dude, that is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!" and the man replies "yeah, ever since that pool-table ball, he's measured before eating ever since!"
edit: I have some more but they're kinda political and can be considered offensive.
"the emperor is rich, but he cannot buy another year"
-anonymous chinese person
"the thief is sorry for being hung, not for being a thief"
-anonymous
"We are not nationalities, we are not races, we are not political parties, we are not social classes, we are not cultures, we are not subcultures, and we are not churches, but when all things are said and done, the guns are shot, the riots have died down, one thing is true, and that should preceed all other things, we are, without division: HUMAN BEINGS, is that not good enough an excuse stop shooting people, and letting others starve to death?" -Pie_man_25
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