A guy walks into a bar and says, "Give me a double bourbon straight up."

The bartender brings him his drink, and the guy says, "Let me show you something." He takes a box out of his pocket and puts it on the bar and opens it, and this tiny man in a tuxedo, about a foot tall, gets out of it. He looks around, climbs down off the bar, goes over to the piano in the corner of the room, and starts playing "Fur Elise." It's beautiful.

The bartender says, "Wow, that's pretty cool. Where did you find him?"

The guy says, "Well, I was on my way home from work this afternoon, and I passed by this antique shop and saw an old oil lamp in the window. It looked interesting, so I bought it and took it home. As I was polishing it, a genie popped out and said 'HUZZAH! YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM CENTURIES OF IMPRISONMENT! TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE, I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR HEART'S DESIRE!'"

The bartender says, "So you asked him for a twelve-inch pianist?"

The guy says, "No, not exactly."