Warning: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in ..../includes/class_bbcode.php on line 2968
Chuck Norris Facts
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Chuck Norris Facts

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Camrose, Alberta, Canada - used to be Umea Sweden.
    Posts
    12,854
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Chuck Norris Facts

    This is funny stuff.

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    My fav: "Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you."
    The Law of Gravity is nonsense. No such law exists. If I think I float, and you think I float, then it happens.
    Master Guitar Academy - I also teach via SKYPE.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    All over Texas...
    Posts
    4,071
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    My favorite: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
    Guitars:
    Fender 2006 MIM Fender Stratocaster HSS in 3TS
    Ibanez RG 570 with a bridge Invader
    ESP M II Deluxe with a Tune-o-Matic bridge
    Eleanor, the magical, mystical Road Worn wonder Tele
    Blackstar HT Club 40

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Westminster, Colorado
    Posts
    2,203
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    My favorite (which isn't on the page, but is still great):

    "If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death."



    tung
    I was just a regular guy. My only super power was being invisible to girls.
    - Dave Lizewski, Kick-A$$

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA
    Posts
    6,009
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    LMAO
    Guitars/Bass - MIM Fender Classic 50s Strat, MIM Fender Standard Strat, Squier Classic Vibe 50s Tele, Gibson Les Paul Studio, Epi '56 Gold Top Les Paul, Martin DSR acoustic, Sigma Martin Auditorium electric/acoustic, Squier Jazz Bass.

    Amps/Cabinets/Modelers - Model 2558 50 watt Marshall Silver Anniversary Jubilee combo w/ Celestion Vintage 30s, 4x12 Marshall cabinet w/25 watt Greenback Celestions, Fender Blues Junior w/ a couple of Billm mods, Line 6 POD 2.0, Roland Micro Cube

    Pedals/Effects - Cry Baby Classic Wah, Boss TU-2, Boss NS-2, Boss RC-2 Loop Station, Ross Compressor, MXR Micro Amp, Danelectro FAB Echo, Danelectro FAB Chorus, Danelectro Chicken Salad, Marshall Guv'nor Plus, Marshall Echohead, Duhvoodooman's Zonkin' Yellow Screamer, Digitech Digiverb, Digitech Bad Monkey, Dunlop Fuzz Face, Homemade Loop Bypass pedal, Duhvoodooman's Sonic Tonic (Maxon SD-9 clone +), Voodoo Labs Superfuzz

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Uppah Noo Yawk
    Posts
    7,407
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    Chuck Norris knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego.

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
    DVM's Ever-Expanding Gear List:

    Guitars - W-A-A-A-Y-Y too many to list. Check 'em all out HERE

    Amps & Cabs - "Kap'n Kerrang-aroo" BYOC 18W TMB kit amp head; Mojave Coyote head; Fender Hot Rod Deluxe Lacquered Tweed Ltd. Ed.; Allen Sweet Spot kit amp; BYOC Tweed Royal kit amp; Epiphone Valve Jr. combo + mods; Drive 2x12 cab / Celestion G12M Greenback + G12H30; AB Custom Audio 1x12 cab / Celestion Alnico Blue

    Pedals/Effects - ZILLIONS, including DVM's Home-built Pedals - See some HERE and HERE, TOO!

    DVM's Gear Photos
    Visit MY WEBSITE!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Warrington, UK
    Posts
    165
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up. He's pushing the earth down

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

    In the average room there are 1242 objects that chuck norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
    Guitars Gordon Smith GS1.5-40, Peavey Generation EXP, Ovation Celebrity electro

    Amps Behringer GM110

    Effects Danelectro Blue Paisley pure drive, Danelectro Cool Cat CD1 Distortion, Danelectro Black Paisley liquid metal, Danelectro Cool Cat chorus(original 18v model), Danelectro Dan Echo delay, Line 6 Toneport GX,

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Doylestown, PA
    Posts
    226
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I like this one:

    Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
    Guitars: MIM Fender FSR Limited Edition Stratocaster with direct mount pickups, Schecter C-1 Plus, SX SST57 Powder Blue, Alvarez RD8 Accoustic

    Amps: Line6 Spidervalve 112

    Effects: Digitech Bad Monkey, Danelectro Cool Cat Chorus, GFS Delay, GFS Tuner, Behringer HB01 wah, Line6 Toneport GX, GuitarRig 3

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    3,298
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    This is the funniest stuff! I have found a page with the German translation and there is some severe laughter going on in the office!

    Thanks Robert :-)
    "A lot of people in the industry want to blame downloading for the state of the business. But I think if most music wasn't shit to begin with people wouldn't be downloading it for free," - Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    7,254
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    This is my favorite, which I knew before visiting that site:

    Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
    Axen: Jackson DK2M, Fender Deluxe Nashville Telecaster, Reverend Warhawk 390, Taylor 914ce, ESP LTD Surveyor-414
    Amphen: Jet City JCA22H and JCA12S cab, Carvin X-60 combo, Acoustic B20
    Effecten: "Thesis 96" Overdrive/Boost (aka DVM OD2), Hardwire DL-8 Digital Delay/Looper, DigiTech Polara Reverb, DigiTech EX-7 Expression Factory and CF-7 Chorus Factory, Danelectro CF-1 Cool Cat Fuzz
    "I wish Imagine Dragons would be stuck in an Arcade Fire for an entire Vampire Weekend."--Brian Posehn

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •