Cheesy joke thread. come on everyone contribute!

**bigoldron** · January 13th, 2009, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by sumitomo

I couldn't leave without leaving you'all with a couple of jokes.

Deja Moo:The feeling yhat you've heard this bull before.

I went to a seafood disco last week.....and pulled a mussel.

See ya when I come back.Sumi

Where ya going Bro?

**thearabianmage** · January 13th, 2009, 09:27 PM

Dunno, but I can't wait to hear what jokes he's picked up on his travels!!!

Robert**** · January 13th, 2009, 10:39 PM

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with!

Where do rabbits learn to fly ?
In the Hare Force !

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

**thearabianmage** · January 13th, 2009, 10:43 PM

A blonde was hooked up to a lie detector and was asked a few preliminary questions to get comparative readings. . .

'What's your name?' - 'Sue' - the machine blinked green.

'Where do you live?' - 'New York' - the machine blinked green.

'What do you think of my tie?' - 'I think. . .' - the machine blew up.

**sumitomo** · April 17th, 2009, 07:51 AM

The redneck word of the day is OBAMA!

I bought me a case of beer and drank it OBAMA self.

D Sumi

**thekiwidisciple** · April 18th, 2009, 06:01 AM

I hope this doesn't get me banned..

...so a baby seal walks into a club.

Robert**** · April 18th, 2009, 09:41 AM

You are now banned, kiwi. For good.

Just kidding.

So, a couple of dyslexis walk in to a bra...

- How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?
- You take away their brooms!

(Canadian flavoured joke...)

**thekiwidisciple** · April 19th, 2009, 03:03 AM

LMAO at the first one Robert, but am I supposed to get that second one?

marnold*** · April 19th, 2009, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by thekiwidisciple

LMAO at the first one Robert, but am I supposed to get that second one?

This will probably help, Kiwi.

**Suhnton** · April 19th, 2009, 07:18 PM

1: So a crocodile walks into a bar wearing a polo t-shirt with a prat embroidered on the chest...

2: Remember: If a man walks out of the toilet with his zipper down, you didn't see nuthin'

**thekiwidisciple** · April 19th, 2009, 10:06 PM

LOL thanks marnold.

**Kazz** · April 20th, 2009, 04:09 AM

Curling.....I have had lots of fun watching that in the Winter Olympics.

A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and stops
them. They show him their papers, but he thinks they are phony.

He tells them, "Okay, I have a test for you. I want you to use the
words liver and cheese in a sentence."

So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich for
lunch."

The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about you?" he asks the second guy.

He says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

**thekiwidisciple** · April 20th, 2009, 04:44 AM

LOL! That one is baaaad...

**bigG** · April 20th, 2009, 11:02 AM

I used to be a magician. I could walk down the street and turn into a bar.

What would you have if all the cars in the USA were pink? A pink car nation.

What if all the crowbars in the world disappeared? The crows would have to drink in our bars.

A man walks into a bar w a duck on his head. The bartender exclaims "what's goin' on here"? The duck says "get this guy off my ***!"

What do you call a girl w one leg shorter than the other? Ilene

What do you call two gay Bobs? Oral Roberts (uh-oh!)

A blonde and a brunette chick are talking. The blonde says "my boyfriend has terrible dandruff! How can I help him get rid of it?" The brunette says "give him Head & Shoulders". The blonde says "I already give him head, how do I give shoulders?" (a bigger uh-oh...did I overstep the boundaries?)

**bigG** · April 20th, 2009, 11:16 AM

Frank and Doris Hill are out driving on a lonely road one dark and stormy night. They have a terrible crash and are killed. An evil scientist and his assistant Igor happen upon the accident scene and drag the dead bodies to their laboratory. They try every evil Frankenstein-like way to bring the Hills back to life, but to no avail. The evil scientist storms out of the laboratory muttering to himself. Igor stays to clean things up and turns on the radio to his favorite jazz station. At once, the dead bodies come to life and sit straight up, looking around in bewilderment. Igor yells out to the evil scientist "the Hills are alive with the sound of music!!!!"

**mcgreggor57** · April 21st, 2009, 05:17 PM

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

Spudman*** · April 21st, 2009, 05:28 PM

Ever seen Helen Keller's house?

Neither has she.

**Suhnton** · April 21st, 2009, 05:54 PM

From the "bubblegum wrapper files"

Why do grizzlies feel cold in winter?
Because they always walk around in bear feet.

What's the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?
One weighs a steak and the other stays awake.

Spudman*** · April 28th, 2009, 01:03 PM

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back.'
'You're on, old man,' the braggart replied. 'Let's see you do it.'
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, 'All right, Dumb ***, get in.'

Thread: Cheesy joke thread. come on everyone contribute!

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