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Thread: Funny Jokes, anyone?

  1. #172
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    cat as trophe
    (cat's) as$ trophy
    Guitars
    Wilburn Versatare, '52 FrankenTele(Fender licensed parts), Fender USA Roadhouse Strat, Fender USA Standard B-bender Telecaster, Agile AL 3000 w/ WCR pickups, Ibanez MIJ V300 Acoustic, Squier Precision Bass,
    Amps
    Ceriatone Overtone Special, Musicman 212 Sixty-Five, Fender Blues Jr., Peavey Classic 30, Fender Super Reverb, Traynor YCV-40 WR Anniversary w/ matching 1x12 ext. cab, Epiphone SoCal 50w head w/ matching 4x12 cab (Lady Luck speakers), Avatar 2x12 semi-open back cab w/ Celestion speakers
    Pedals
    Digitech Bad Monkey, Digitech Jamman, DVM's ZYS, Goodrich volume pedal

  2. #173
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    I thought this one up.

    What do you call a domesticated Buick?

    A carpet.
    _____

    GUITARS - Carvin DC127M - Carvin Bolt kit
    AMPS - Bogner Alchemist 112 - Blackheart Handsome Devil half stack
    FXs - Roger Linn Adrenalinn III - Boss GT-10
    _____

  3. #174
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    I hope nobody posted this one.
    A guy finally saves up enough money to buy a Super Bowl Ticket. He heads out to the game and finds his seat. He sits down and he sees an empty seat and a guy sitting on the other side. He turns to the guy and says "wow an empty seat at the Super Bowl. " The guy turns to him with a sad look and says yes that was is my wife's seat. We never missed a game in 25 years. And she passed away. The first guy gives his condolences and sits back. it really bugs him that the guy would keep an empty seat, so he blurts out. Couldn't you give the seat to one of your friends or relatives.
    The second guys says No they are all at the funeral!
    The Blues is alright!

    Guitars: 1968 Gibson SG, 2005 Gibson SG Standard, 2006 Gibson LP Classic Gold top, 2004 Epiphone Elitist LP Custom, 1996 Gibson Les Paul Standard. 2001 Epiphone Sheraton II, 2007 Epiphone G400.
    Fender Strats: 1996 Fender 68 Reissue CIJ, 2008 Squier CV 50s, 2009 Squier CV 50s Tele Butterescotch Blonde

    Amps: Blues Junior Special edition Jensen in Brown Tolex with Wheat front, 65 Deluxe Reverb reissue,1970 Sonax reverb by Traynor, Avatar Custom 2/12 Cabinet with Eminence Legend V1216 speakers,
    2008 DSL100 Marshall Amp , Fender Super Champ XD,Fender Vibro Champ XD

    Effects and Pedals: Fulltone Fulldrive II, Fulltone OCD, Fulltone Mini Deja Vibe, Fulltone Fat Boost, Dunlop Crybaby Wah, Boss DS1, Boss DD20 Giga Delay, Boss TU2 tuner, Boss BD2, Ibanez TS9 Tube screamer, Zoom 505. Radial tonebone hot british.

  4. #175
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    Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the
    shower? The shampoo directions said, "Wash, rinse, repeat."

    .
    Less golf, more saxophone

  5. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by poodlesrule View Post
    Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the
    shower? The shampoo directions said, "Wash, rinse, repeat."
    Nice. That's worth at least a chuckle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spudman
    Does anyone read the original post?
    Guitars: Gibson LP Studio, MIA Fender Precision, Carvin C350
    Amps: Genz Benz Shuttle 6.0 + Avatar B212 / Genzler 12-3, Acoustic B20
    Pedals: Pod HD500X, Diamond Compressor, Tech 21 VT Bass, Sonic Research Turbo Tuner

  6. #177
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    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang Answering, he heard his wife's voice
    urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Please
    be careful!"

    "Hell," said Herman, "its not just one car Its hundreds of them!"
    The Law of Gravity is nonsense. No such law exists. If I think I float, and you think I float, then it happens.
    Master Guitar Academy - I also teach via SKYPE.

  7. #178
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    .... Posted in a veterinarian's office: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit. Stay."


    .
    Less golf, more saxophone

  8. #179
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    Come on people, we need some levity!

    Here's one:

    Marriage Counseling

    After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife go for counseling.

    When asked what the problem was, the wife starts in on a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the years they've been married.

    On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she's had to endure.

    Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

    The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

    The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

    The husband replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays but on Fridays I go fishing."


    .
    Less golf, more saxophone

  9. #180
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    metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.
    The Law of Gravity is nonsense. No such law exists. If I think I float, and you think I float, then it happens.
    Master Guitar Academy - I also teach via SKYPE.

  10. #181
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    Wow - working through that thread to get here reminded me of a lot of old names and avatars... Where are they now? Miss a lot of those fine folks.

  11. #182
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    I bet many still lurk here, even if don't post so often. I've been posting to agf of late and basically the same as articles on a Finnish forum often, hasn't seemed like a sensible thing to post the same stuff to a third place.

    Here's a broken down Gibson Faded SG I completely refinished and overhauled with reshaped neck and all though, the end result is on the vid:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5okJYzIBjM&sns=em

    Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk
    Dee

    "When life's a biatch, be a horny dog"

    Amps: Marshall JVM 410H w/ Plexi Cap mod, Choke Mod & Negative Feedback Removal mod, 4x12", Behringer GMX110, Amplitube 3/StealthPedal

    Half a dozen custom built/bastardized guitars all with EMG's, mostly 85's, Ibanez Artwood acoustic & Yamaha SGR bass, Epiphone Prophecy SG, Vox Wah, Pitchblack tuner plus assorted pedals, rack gear etc. for home studio use.

  12. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by deeaa View Post
    I bet many still lurk here, even if don't post so often. I've been posting to agf of late and basically the same as articles on a Finnish forum often, hasn't seemed like a sensible thing to post the same stuff to a third place.

    Here's a broken down Gibson Faded SG I completely refinished and overhauled with reshaped neck and all though, the end result is on the vid:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5okJYzIBjM&sns=em

    Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk
    Is that supposed to be funny?
    The Law of Gravity is nonsense. No such law exists. If I think I float, and you think I float, then it happens.
    Master Guitar Academy - I also teach via SKYPE.

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