Cheesy joke thread. come on everyone contribute!

[Heywood Jablomie]

Two lawyers are walking down the street when they see a shapely young woman in a miniskirt. One lawyer says, "I'd sure like to screw her". The other one says, "Out of what?".

And my favorite salesman joke....

Fred recently died and went to Heaven.
When Fred got to the pearly gates ... St. Peter showed him the attractions:
Relaxing on clouds, reading books, eating great meals and listening to harp music ...
Fred was impressed with St. Peter’s offer however he hadn’t completely made up is mind yet. There was another option to consider ... Hell ...
Now that Fred had a lot more time on his hands (he was dead after all ...) he decided to go down to Hell to see what they had to offer.
Satan met him at the front gate and showed him around. Fred saw lots of wild parties, pretty young woman and an unlimited supply of beer.
After being given a day to consider his options, Fred deciding on Hell ... “Hell it is!” ... he said
Satan met Fred at the front gate again however when he got inside this time he saw something very different from what he had seen before.
Now there were people being tortured, burned and living in cages.
"Satan," he asked, "Where are all the great parties and the fun stuff you showed me yesterday?"
Satan replied, "That was all a show for prospective clients. You're a client now!"