Mayer's apology

[piebaldpython***]

Maybe it's a generational thing (I certainly hope not), but I was raised to be a gentleman. And gentlemen don't speak of such private intimacies as John Mayer does. Oh, I've certainly had acquaintances who have, and I've been in enough locker rooms to have heard it many times before, but it's still inexcusable. Just imagine if it was your daughter that Mayer was speaking about. Or maybe your sister or a good friend.

Right, not the gentlemanly thing to do, I agree. That being said, I've been in enough gyms and bars to hear guys talk that kind of stuff. However, there's a HUGE difference between BS'g with 10 pals and saying stuff in a venue so that EVERYBODY knows what you think.

[sunvalleylaw]

The media game that exists today drives me nuts frankly. All this focus on what John said or didn't say when pressured constantly, when there could actually a thoughtful discussion in the media of the issues that face our nation and the world. Rather than discuss the gazillions of ordinary criminal or personal injury cases, we have a distorted, hyper focus on cases like OJ and the McDonald's coffee case.

That said, when one is a public figure, one has to learn to engage one's brain before opening your mouth. John is a guitarist and musician. In my mind, a great one. He is not a statesman. He is only 30 or so, and has had tremendous focus on him during a period of life where my own life would not have stood up to that level of scrutiny. In today's digital world, where "news" travels via Facebook and Twitter etc. in an instant, I doubt many of us would survive long term without saying something stupid. I am pretty sure I would at some point.

I don't think I can really tell anything from what I receive via media that really tells me about him, but he seems to have a good, sensitive heart, but gets in trouble when he tries to be cool. Trying to be cool never worked for me. He would be well served if he stopped running that mouth in these interviews, especially about any relationships he may have.

I hope he learns what he can from it, then lets it go and carries on. Less Twitter and more music.

[sumitomo]

Can't We All Just Get Along!!! now where's my Zoloft! Oh forget it I'm gunna kill myself. Sumi

[Eric***]

I don't want to make myself a target, because I'm just as imperfect as everyone else, but I have always liked celebrities who first focus on being good people.

I think it's desperately hard, and there are pressures I can't understand when you get to a certain level of celebrity, but that has to be the goal. Through everything I do, I try (and frequently fail) to put my behavior first, accomplishment second.

He definitely brought some of the pressure on himself by being a media darling, and I have really hated his cutesy crap from the minute he came out (his comments about how so many great guitarists have never made teenage girls cry made me want to vomit). His words do matter. I don't overlook that, but I know that we all have low points in life.

Hopefully he can make a real change in his life, not just the appearance of one for PR reasons.

[sunvalleylaw]

Blooz, that is a very interesting discussion that I spent almost a semester of law school studying. You bring up the classic example of cause for restriction of free speech. That discussion could get into politics I suppose. I would be happy to have a discussion about it off hook.


But beyond what is legal to say, there is the issue of what is right to say. As my Dad, always pointed out, just because an action is legal does not make it right. I am a big JM fan, and think he is better than these comments personally. I hope he learns and moves on.

[Bloozcat]

Blooz, that is a very interesting discussion that I spent almost a semester of law school studying. You bring up the classic example of cause for restriction of free speech. That discussion could get into politics I suppose. I would be happy to have a discussion about it off hook.

But beyond what is legal to say, there is the issue of what is right to say. As my Dad, always pointed out, just because an action is legal does not make it right. I am a big JM fan, and think he is better than these comments personally. I hope he learns and moves on.

Ah, yes...Humanities Philosophy class...

What often gets lost in the discussion is the era in which the Constitution was written and the mores of the society then (hmmm...an anthopology discussion too!). Civility was a given expectation. They were gentleman and ladies then. Even the barbarity of war was conducted by gentlemanly rules. So, personal responsibility in the exercise of the first amendment was expected as well.

Perhaps John Mayer never had the benefit of having been taught the manners of a civil society. It doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad guy, just one who's a little uncouth. I hope he has a friend or someone he looks up to who cares enough about him to take him aside and speak to him about it. I don't dislike John Mayer - I don't even know him. But I do dislike some of his behaviors.

[Eric***]

Wow SVL -- editing others' posts in the pursuit of perfect grammar?? You ARE hardcore!

[sunvalleylaw]

Wow SVL -- editing others' posts in the pursuit of perfect grammar?? You ARE hardcore!

LOL! No, not Blooz's, my typo!

[oldguy]

I think Mayer's a very talented guitarist. I really enjoyed his music when he moved toward the blues. He may never have the social skills to let his sense of discretion override his need for attention when being interviewed, then again, he may learn from his transgressions. You shouldn't talk trash about people you've been intimate with, or, as the old saying goes, "don't kiss and tell".
But to be honest, I like Joe B. more as a blues player, and I would be astounded to read such remarks by Joe in an interview. Mayer, I wasn't that surprised. Go figure.