I'm just learning to play guitar for the first time. After an epic 3 months of guitar playing, I can handle "Silent Night."

I know you're impressed.

I have an Epiphone Les Paul Standard that I picked off of eBay for $300. It's a beautiful thing. I just wish that I could play it as well as it deserves to be.

I'm learning from a guitar tech that's been playing for 30 years as well as from a "Learn Guitar Today" book. I'm thinking of suing them for the "today" part of their title. Actually it's a decent book that has kept me interested and not gotten me frustrated.

I'm really interested in playing slide guitar and generally any of the bends, slides and similar sounds. When you realize that I was trying to decide between guitar and cello, you might understand the sound that I like. Despite the cello and bluesy slide references, my interests are mainly rock.

I'll be quite happy when I get to the point that I can play Dire Straits, "Brothers in Arms."

My favorite guitar pick is my cut up credit card.