And so it came to pass that the bandleader Nebulon, He Who Seeeth Not The Forest For The Trees, did take the Chick Singer Shriekula (she who had commanded that the Drummer Valentino be flayed alive, boiled in oil, and rent asunder by crazed horses for playing the Samba beat during her rendition of Misty; she who hath a vibrato so wide that one could drive a legion of chariots through) for his wife, and he began a Dynasty. And Shriekula did bear him three sons, named Macarena, Rubato, and Sid. And in time did these sons grow into men, and have families of their own.
And Macarena begat Tarantella, who begat a daughter, Hora, and a son, Zorba.
And Hora begat Havah Nagilah, Tzena Tzena, and Simon Tov.
And Zorba begat a Great House, including Volari, Rico Suavi, Achy Breaky, Hokey Pokey, Chim Chim Cheree, Slidus Electricus, Lichtensteiner Polka, Disco, and the three idiot sons, Jump, Jive, and Wail. And from this House did also descend Freebird (the drunkard), Danny Boy (the weeper), Mack (the Knife), LeRoy Brown (he who was Bad Twice), New York New York, Auld Lang Syne, Impanema, La Bamba, and others too numerous to name (including the House of Andrew Lloyd Weber, which ruled the world during the terrible period known as The Dark Ages).
And the second son, Rubato, did sire the sons Largo and Lento.
And Largo begat Ritard, who begat Fermata, who begat Arrythmia. And Arrythmia begat the twin sons, Tempo Erratica and Tempo Nebulous (named after his Great-Grandfather). And the twin Tempos did sire many children, including Lachrymosa, Turgid, Dirge, Somnambula, Quaalude and Sominex.
Lento, the other son of Rubato, did begat Rallantando and L'istesso, and Rallantando begat Poco, and Poco begat Con Brio, and Con Brio begat Vivaci, and L'istesso begat Allegro, and Allegro begat Presto.

And the third son, Sid, did not enter the Study of Music, preferring to work in The Office.
And he began his own Dynasty, sending the Bands of the House of Nebulon to the far reaches of the Earth, to perform at banquets and weddings and Mitzvahs and wars and natural disasters.
(Translator's note: It is believed that it was the House of Nebulon which provided bands for the destruction of Pompeii, the burning of Rome, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the fall of Constantinople, and the Mongol campaigns of Genghis Khan; a House of Nebulon band may also have been the house band for the Tower of Babel. Another House of Nebulon band evidently missed making the cruise of Noah's Ark due to a chariot jam.)
And Sid begat Morris (known as Mo), who begat Max, who begat Irving (known as Irv), who begat Mickey, who begat Abraham (known as Abe). And this line did Prosper, long after the rest of the House of Nebulon had passed into history.

And the House of Sid did take 15% off the top until the end of time.

Thus Reads The Holy Gospel.

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