...which I'm not. I'm not even good enough to own one

It would be this: http://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/JagVMSFG/

A new squier Jaguar! At a great price compared to the fender.

I like the jags. Lots of quirky buttons and a slightly decadent body shape that looks like something that fell off a 50's Cadillac.

I don't normally GAS over things, but this has got me going a bit :