So stressed

[Glacies]

For the first time in my life I'm actually having trouble staying healthy for all my stress.

Work has gotten bad. There are a bunch of problems and they've cut some coworkers hours and are juggling mandatory unpaid furloughs. Luckily I haven't been touched yet, but it's difficult to deal with when you work with people who are dealing with this and not knowing if your ticket is about to come up.

Somehow, out of the blue, I was contacted by a very loose acquaintance from another board I moderate asking about my engineering background and whether I'd be interested in his company. I started that ball rolling and had my second interview on Tuesday. This opportunity is incredible for me, personally and professionally. The pay is great, the benefits are incredible and I'm closer to my wife's family which is something we really wanted since we're trying to start a family and the work is right up my alley. Interesting and challenging and in my field.

And this might get a bit personal, but my wife and I finally got pregnant after quite a while of trying. This made us so happy and after about 2 months we lost it. Seems to be common but this was a huge letdown, very upsetting and difficult to deal with. Then came the subsequent medical actions required to make sure she stayed healthy after.

If I get this job, I'm extremely nervous about how I will prepare and sell the house. We haven't finished rebuilding our lives after that disaster with the tree. My finances have not been prepared for a "spruce up" and a move, i'm freaking out about what I'd get for the house and how I'd deal with buying another 3 hours away.

And every email I get I'm freaking out that it's the company either making me an offer or turning me down.

Oh, my 93 year old grandfather went in for a surgery on Wednesday when they found an artery supplying blood to the brain was blocked. He made it out and is okay, but damn, I am not sure that I can handle anything else right now.

It actually kind of made me feel better typing this out. It's difficult to talk to my friends about a lot of this and my wife is still a bit affected by what happened this week. Thanks for letting me vent.

[R_of_G]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough go of things right now Glacies.

Four years ago, I was in a very similar situation at a previous job. The company had gone through several rounds of layoffs and cutbacks on hours. Every Friday people wondered if we'd be the next to be told that paycheck was our last, and that November I got laid off. Let's keep hoping things turn out positively for you with the other job opportunity.

I know it probably reads as meaningless platitudes, but hang in there. You and Mrs. Glacies have each other, and that's what's truly important. You'll work your way through the rest and come out better on the other side.

[Glacies]

Thanks man.

It's not meaningless platitudes, it just helps to say this stuff and helps me put things in perspective a bit. I don't want to stress my wife out right now, I can't talk to my friends who are dealing with the same thing. Everyone's having a tough time and I've been bottling it up, loosing sleep and just feeling like crap in general.

I just thought I'd vent a little bit.

Hoping to get the band together tonight to blow off some steam as well.

[Robert****]

Thanks for sharing Glacies. I'm sorry to hear about the rough situation.

A lot of people are struggling with things, but yeah hang in there. It certainly is very good to talk about these things, and I think there are many here who will listen too.

Thanks man, and play some guitar now and then if you can! Get that band steaming! It might just help a bit.

[R_of_G]

It's not meaningless platitudes, it just helps to say this stuff and helps me put things in perspective a bit. I don't want to stress my wife out right now, I can't talk to my friends who are dealing with the same thing. Everyone's having a tough time and I've been bottling it up, loosing sleep and just feeling like crap in general.

Just to clarify, I meant that what I was saying might come off that way. I'm glad talking about this stuff is helping you get some steam off, and I'm glad the Fret is providing you a place you can comfortably do that.

[Glacies]

Sorry, R_of_G, rereading what I wrote, I see how you might have misunderstood my response. What I meant is what you said wasn't meaningless and I appreciated it and that some of what you said helped me put things in perspective. I'm an engineer and therefore unable to express myself with words. i'll draw you a hell of a picture though!

[R_of_G]

I'm an engineer and therefore unable to express myself with words. i'll draw you a hell of a picture though!

I'm a graphic artist. Words are just blocks of text to move around the page to make prettier pictures.

[Bookkeeper's Son]

Glacies, it's no surprise that you feel stressed - you're experiencing some of the biggest life-stressors that exist. One of them is stressful; more than one at a time is difficult for almost anyone. One of the ways I deal with stress is to remind myself that I survived these things before (I'm nearly 60 and have been there many times in my life), and that they didn't turn out to be nearly as catastrophic as my imagination conjured up. That, plus drugs and alcohol....

[mrmudcat]

Stay strong brother.if it is meant to be it will

STAY HEALTHY FO-SHO

[tjcurtin1]

Hey, Glacies, good for you for finding a place to vent and making use of it - that can really help keep the pressure from causing a boil-over. Otherwise, I think that Bookkeeper's Son said it perfectly - hang in there, this too shall pass.

[Glacies]

Holy crap, I got the job!

My wife and I woke up this morning with a huge list of things to do to get the house ready to sell, we did none of them and took a really good bottle of wine to play a round of golf. Was good to get out there with her and do something like that. I guess it's all coming together. Next few months will be... interesting, but "dealable"

The only thing I'm upset about with this new job opportunity is that I'll be leaving this band I've been playing with because we'll have to move. Time to start a new one I guess. My BiL said he wants to play the drums and will buy a set if I move up there so I can form a new band with him, but he doesn't know how to play a kit so I'll have to teach him. Together we already have a pretty good acoustic duo with him on the bongos, so hopefully that translates well.

[Robert****]

Congrats, Glacies!

[Bookkeeper's Son]

Congrats!

Like The Dan said:

"Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again"

So, you're moving from where to where?

[Tig***]

Congratulations on the new job!

Stress affects us like many other diseases, sometimes more. A new job, selling the house and moving, a baby on the way... Any one of these is a major stresser.

Engineering minds are used to problem solving. The mind is used to having the answers for an entire project up front. Life sure isn't as easy nor linear, so it doesn't fit into the compartmentalize engineering mind sometimes. Don't worry, everything will fall into place as time rolls along.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step”

[oldguy]

Congrats, man, very happy for you.
Starting a new band could be a positive thing. In any case, sounds like you'll be busy!

[Glacies]

Thanks for the support guys.

Tig, I've never heard it said like that, but that description fits me perfectly.

[R_of_G]

Congratulations Glacies! Glad to hear you got the job!

[Commodore 64***]

Where are you moving to?

Also, dealt with a failed pregnancy. After 20 weeks, no heartbeat. They said we could leave it in there and wait for it to come out naturally or have the D&C procedure. We prefer to think of it in a natural selection context. Something wasn't right, my wife's body knew it, and ceased development, so we got it sucked out. Early term miscarriages are common, more common than I thought. A lot of stuff has to go right to get the ball rolling. Try not to obsess on it.

My wife had been on the pill for a long time. It took over 3 years of "trying" for us (lotta fun, though). Success corresponded with us purchasing our own home, and me finishing grad school and getting a good job and her becoming a freelance graphic designer. Not sure if that was a coincidence or not. Once you turn that faucet on, though, it seems to be pretty easy to knock them up. So much so, that I had my vasectomy scheduled 6 months before my 2nd daughter was born. The first time we had unprotected sex after my 1st daughter was born, my wife was pregnant (that one miscarried). A couple of days later, my 2nd daughter was conceived. Nothing like a little hair of the dog, right?

[Glacies]

It does seem common. My wife unfortunately has a problem with her ovaries that complicated just getting pregnant. After some treatment we got her system working right and that's really what we took away from this failed pregnancy. We were so happy that we could actually get pregnant that it was a horrible letdown, but we are happy that we are fortunate enough to get pregnant. So we'll try again. This week was bad, instead of the D&C we decided to try to force the miscarriage after she didn't pass it. That made her terribly ill and just really screwed her up for a few days. We don't even know if it was successful yet.

I told my wife last night that I imagine with all of the issues and poking and prodding by doctors, it's gotta be making her feel like a lot less of a Lady, so I'm going to do my best to make sure I make up for it. I could see that resonated pretty deeply with her.

Got the details on the offer from the new job today, there's a pretty big relocation alotment and that's really just taking a lot of added stress off our plate. Looks like we're going to be okay.

Edit: I'm moving from Lynchburg, VA to the eastern side of Richmond, VA - about 3 hours away.