Guitarded

[FrankenFretter]

Here is my situation: I have a family at home, a fiancee and her eight-year old daughter. When I spend time at home, it's almost guaranteed to be spent as "family time" of one sort or another. There's housework, homework, meals, projects, errands, walking the dogs, or just plain hanging out as a family in some aspect, be it board games, movies, or what have you. As it stands, I only play guitar about 30-60 minutes per month.. As you can imagine, for every one step forward, I'm probably taking three steps back. I'm frustrated because I love to play, but my skills deteriorate quickly when I play so seldom. Guitars are my passion; what I dream about, fantasize about, talk about (when I have a willing ear available) and think about almost constantly. It pains me that I seem to have so very little time to enjoy my passion, but I feel guilty if I feel the urge to sneak away from my family to go spend time in my music room.

I know there are plenty of you out there who must be in somewhat similar situations. I also know that most of you find the time to play, even if it's not as often as you'd like, more frequently than an hour a month. I'm looking for suggestions, and/or just some anecdotes to entertain me and soothe me. I've considered taking lessons, as that would be a sure way to get my practice in once per week. Still somewhat of a possibility, but I don't know of any teachers in town. I should point out that my fiancee, God bless her, has no interest at all whatsoever in guitar. I did at one point entertain the notion that maybe I could convince her to learn with me, but I've given up on that. Her daughter shows some interest, but her little fingers have such a hard time on her little acoustic, and I'm a horrible teacher...it's not going well.

Thanks for listening. Your input will be greatly appreciated, no matter what it is you have to say.

-Sean

[Commodore 64]

I have 2 daughters, ages 3 and 6. On a good week, I'll get 30-60 mins in every night. A bad week, like this one, I might get 15 mins in every evening. It is very hard to get better practicing this little, I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm having no luck getting my 6 year old to learn to play guitar either.

The girls/wife will come in and out while I'm practicing, or just do their thing. Everyone needs hobbies. One hour per month is not realistic or healthy. You need to set aside at least 3 nights a week and tell your fiance and daughter that you are going to practice...they can choose to interact with you during practice or not. "Quality Time" with the family doesn't necessarily have to be actively engaging them in a board game each and every night.

Use an acoustic, even if you don't strum it, to do finger exercises while you watch TV.

[FrankenFretter]

I have 2 daughters, ages 3 and 6. On a good week, I'll get 30-60 mins in every night. A bad week, like this one, I might get 15 mins in every evening. It is very hard to get better practicing this little, I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm having no luck getting my 6 year old to learn to play guitar either.

The girls/wife will come in and out while I'm practicing, or just do their thing. Everyone needs hobbies. One hour per month is not realistic or healthy. You need to set aside at least 3 nights a week and tell your fiance and daughter that you are going to practice...they can choose to interact with you during practice or not. "Quality Time" with the family doesn't necessarily have to be actively engaging them in a board game each and every night.

Use an acoustic, even if you don't strum it, to do finger exercises while you watch TV.

I used to keep my acoustic in the living room, so it would always be there to remind me to play whenever I had the chance. Then, for the sake of the others in the room who may not want to hear me play, I used one of my electrics (unplugged) for the same purpose. Unfortunately, the living room has been "taken over" by the girls, and their sewing projects now take up the corner where I used to keep my guitar stand. Add to that, we now have dogs, and they do sometimes [I]chew[I]on things. I'm not saying there's no solution there, and I appreciate the advice. I think my family is probably more understanding than I give them credit for. I probably just need to have a talk with them.

[@nthony]

I'm considering investing in some wireless headphones, so i can set my amp up in the living room play all I want and not disturb my fiancee.

[M29]

I eliminated showers, this gives me a good 15 minutes each day to play the guitar....:thwap Just kidding. I am fortunate to have quite a bit of time to play but I would think as mentioned before you need to make time. I would get an inexpensive guitar that you can knock around and not be concerned about scratching it or denting it and grab is as often as you can even scuff it upside the couch or the corner wall and dig in. Make it happen. I know this sounds ah...arrogant or insensitive but (dig) into that baby in any way you can. Before you know it you will get some satisfaction from it. IMHO of course.
Something I do 75% of the time is play an electric unplugged. It don't sound that great but I can play it without bothering anyone and get my playing in.

[sumitomo]

In the winter it gets cold in my music room and no playing in the living room,that is until I got my Yamaha Silent,I can jam sitting on the couch while they watch T.V. and my I-pod plugs into the guitar and I can jam along in warmth and the family is happy.Sumi:D

[sunvalleylaw]

Boy, I go through waves. Family comes first, so a lot of time it is relatively late most of the fam are in bed. This summer, it was hard to do much. But scheduling some jams keeps me motivated, and I have been carving out more time, instead of TV or internet, etc. since joining a jam and finding another person to play with occasionally. I also do the headphone thing sometimes, and having my playing area in the same place as my computer helps a lot. If my wife is using that room to watch TV and I don't want to, I go to the other room with my acoustic or with headphones.

[bcdon]

When I stopped watching TV I found loads of newly available time. If your family has shows that they like to watch, excuse yourself so you can play guitar.

I also try and get up an hour (half) early so I can play a little bit before heading to work. It's amazing how good a day I have when I begin the day with a little guitar practice.

You can also try staying up an extra 30 minutes at night to devote to your guitar. I've found it is pretty easy to adjust my sleeping pattern if I do so in small chunks (say 30 minutes) and stick with it for at least 2 weeks.

Cheers!

[Kazz]

You just have to find time....as a family they will (re: should) understand that this small block of time is really important to you.

[FrankenFretter]

I eliminated showers, this gives me a good 15 minutes each day to play the guitar....:thwap Just kidding. I am fortunate to have quite a bit of time to play but I would think as mentioned before you need to make time. I would get an inexpensive guitar that you can knock around and not be concerned about scratching it or denting it and grab is as often as you can even scuff it upside the couch or the corner wall and dig in. Make it happen. I know this sounds ah...arrogant or insensitive but (dig) into that baby in any way you can. Before you know it you will get some satisfaction from it. IMHO of course.
Something I do 75% of the time is play an electric unplugged. It don't sound that great but I can play it without bothering anyone and get my playing in.

Most of my guitars would probably fit that description.

[M29]

Your in there man! :R I know what you mean:D

[NWBasser]

Hi Sean.

We've talked about this before and I'm in a similar situation. I do try to play, but Dawson (my 5-year old son) hears it and will come in immediately to start grabbing and/or stumming the guitar/bass. My saving grace is being in a band where I can leave the house and all its distractions for awhile at least. That works for bass, but doesn't leave any time for guitar.

Talk to them and see if they can agree to leave you alone to practice/decompress for 15 minutes a day. It's not asking for much and if you schedule it at a particular time, they'll get used to it. If they feel like they're part of the solution, it usually works out better.

It's kind of a bummer situation where I can get the time to write about playing, but not the time to actually do it.

[jpfeifer]

I can relate to this struggle to balance family time with music time. It's really hard, I know. I still struggle with this. Most of my practice time happens after everyone has gone to bed. By that time I'm often pretty tired, but I force myself to stay up a little later to get the time in. Here are a couple of other things you might think of, to help get more time with the guitar but not fall short on your family time.

- pull out the guitar and play for the kids at night when they go to bed. I used to do this to practice my solo guitar stuff, or just strum and sing to help them fall asleep.
- get some of the family involved in playing with you. If your kids play other instruments try to find some ways to have them play with you. My daughter used to play her flute with me. Or, if you have any kids interested in drums then it's a good way to get them to practice
- another thing I got involved in is playing music at church, since it was a family activity anyway, it gave me another outlet for playing music. The family got involved in the choir so we all did this together.

-- Jim

[Retro Hound]

I probably only get 10-15 minutes a day. Occasionally half an hour. Some days it's just playing while sitting in the kitchen with the wife while she makes dinner. Doesn't work as well when I'm the one making dinner. I'll Strum while watching TV, but we don't watch much TV. I do try to get in a few minutes everyday, and end up with 6 days a week generally.

BTW, kudos for making the family a priority.

[FusedGrooves]

learn to stay up later and play when everyone's gone to bed? on weekends I try to give quality time doing specific things with the kids say in the morning, but then arrange to have a block of time in the arvo for playing....it is hard though! Makes me appreciate all that time learning/playing before having little else to do LOL

[deeaa]

I know exactly what you mean, I'm the same. If I didn't go to band practice every other week, I'd almost never play the guitar. And often, like this week, I could only be at the practice about an hour twenty minutes before I had to run back.

What I do to get some time for myself, is I try to arrange some free time for my wife. Take the kids to the store, outside, to a friend's place, or whatever for a few hours so she can just be alone for a while. Then I can also take an hour or two for my own projects without scruples now and then when it's necessary. I'll even tell her like, 'look, I'll take the kids for now, you go on and visit the town or something, I'll spend some time in the basement then in the evening when you come back.'

The second thing I do is I try to sometimes slip into the kitchen and play for a short while when the rest of the family is watching TV. Not very often, but sometimes I get a good 30 minutes. While at it, I try to also put away dishes, make coffee and chocolate for them etc. so it doesn't feel like I'm just away doing my own thing. Multitasking as much as possible. Sometimes I can also play some while watching the TV - as long as it's more like picking stuff, not bending and wailing and of course sans amp, it's OK for short whiles. I do keep a guitar in the living room for that.

Thirdly, I've taught myself to only sleep about six hours, while the rest of the family sleeps 8-10 hours. So quite often my wife goes to bed with the kids at eight, and I can do whatever I like until midnight. Well, usually I'm not very eager to play the guitar at that time, it's mostly drinking beer, mixing maybe, or playing computer or Xbox games really...too tired to play the guitar usually. I get good sleep however because I then go to sleep in another room entirely and not be woken up by the kids for the rest of the night. Usually in the morning I wake up and take the eldest kid downstairs to watch cartoons with me and type away at emails etc. for an hour or so before I go to work and wake up the rest as I'm leaving.

The only downside to all this is of course that I only get to see and be with my wife for a short while in the morning, maybe, if that, and for a couple of hours in the evening, which we usually mostly spend watching TV with the family or visiting a store or something with the family. But it's just a fact of life there is no 'us' time with the wife when you have kids. Only very seldom. But we do both get to go out now and then with our friends, it's only we never get to do it together. Sometimes it's planning to the minute, i.e. she has to be somewhere from 9 to 11 and I have to be at work from 11 to 14 and then again she has to get back to work by three, so sometimes it's proper racing around the town to get one of us at home while the other runs to work or something. But basically, the only way to get 'free' time is to take it off from the time with the wife. Don't worry, it's only for like 10 years or so till the kids are bigger, then you have the rest of your lives to stare at each other's mugs :-)

One excellent thing is that Sunday is now a regular day here, they changed the law so that stores are open etc. and that's great, because before there was nothing to do on Sundays except be at home, now it's much easier to get something arranged for Sundays as well.

[FrankenFretter]

As usual, I derive motivation and inspiration from my fellow Fretters. I haven't tried playing after the kid goes to bed yet, I suppose because I was thinking it would wake her, but she sleeps like the dead. That might be an option on the nights that we're not finishing a movie that we started earlier that evening. Getting together with other musicians is something that I've been wanting to do for quite a while now, but the other musicians I know share some of my same challenges with family time. And, add to that, I'm not sure if any of us have a decent space for jamming. Close neighbors, small spaces, and kids...Challenging, but probably not impossible.

Ideally, I'd like to have 30 minutes per day to play, but realistically I might be able to get 30 minutes every few days. Still, that would be a big improvement. And Dee is right; the kids do eventually grow up (take heart, Jason).

Thanks to all who have contributed, and thanks in advance to those who will contribute. I appreciate it very much.

-Sean

[NWBasser]

Well, at least my situation has improved.

Since my hours have been reduced at work, I now get to care for my son one weekday. So, I can play after I take him to kindergarten.

I've been itching to do some writing/composing and now I'll get the chance.

I'll have less money for gear now, but more time to spend with the stuff I have so it works for the better.

[FrankenFretter]

Update: I talked to my fiancee about spending some time every day with my guitars, and she was very understanding and open about it. I also told her I plan to start lessons (for the first time in almost 25 years) in January. Now that I have the okay, it's up to me to make it happen. If I'm going to buy a Les Paul with my tax return, I feel like I should be worthy of it first.

Sidenote: I need to find some decent headphones I can use with an amp. I'm not looking to spend over $50. Suggestions?

-Sean

[sunvalleylaw]

Update: I talked to my fiancee about spending some time every day with my guitars, and she was very understanding and open about it. I also told her I plan to start lessons (for the first time in almost 25 years) in January. Now that I have the okay, it's up to me to make it happen. If I'm going to buy a Les Paul with my tax return, I feel like I should be worthy of it first.

Sidenote: I need to find some decent headphones I can use with an amp. I'm not looking to spend over $50. Suggestions?

-Sean

Good deal Sean! Communication is a good thing. :AOK

Headphones - I have a pair of Behringer HPM1000 headphones that are really quite nice and can be had online for under $20! :AOK They come with a quarter inch jack that converts to the MP3 player size. Not fancy, not a super long cord, but work great for playing next to your amph or computer.

[ZMAN]

Update: I talked to my fiancee about spending some time every day with my guitars, and she was very understanding and open about it. I also told her I plan to start lessons (for the first time in almost 25 years) in January. Now that I have the okay, it's up to me to make it happen. If I'm going to buy a Les Paul with my tax return, I feel like I should be worthy of it first.

Sidenote: I need to find some decent headphones I can use with an amp. I'm not looking to spend over $50. Suggestions?

-Sean
I would get the Les Paul right away. Don't wait until you THINK you are good enough for it. Playing a good guitar makes getting better even easier.
When you pick up a nice guitar with a good action you never want to put it down.

[FrankenFretter]

I would get the Les Paul right away. Don't wait until you THINK you are good enough for it. Playing a good guitar makes getting better even easier.
When you pick up a nice guitar with a good action you never want to put it down.

First of all, thanks for the enabling. I can usually count on that from my fellow Fretters.

If it wasn't for my hospital bill (kidney stone), my pending car repair bill (alternator), a vet bill, and Christmas presents, I would yank some money out of savings and make that LP mine. It's going to have to wait until company bonus/tax return time, which is usually in March. Ah, the antici..........pation!

[FrankenFretter]

Good deal Sean! Communication is a good thing. :AOK

Headphones - I have a pair of Behringer HPM1000 headphones that are really quite nice and can be had online for under $20! :AOK They come with a quarter inch jack that converts to the MP3 player size. Not fancy, not a super long cord, but work great for playing next to your amph or computer.

Thanks for the tip, Steve. As a former DJ/VJ, I usually start looking at Sennheisers, and sometimes Sony. The Behringers sound a little more affordable, although there are some Sennheisers that aren't too spendy.

[sunvalleylaw]

No Problem. I received them as a gift for a nice guy here on the forum, and they seem great. I do not have tons to compare with, and I am sure there are higher fidelity/quality ones out there, but they seem absolutely fine for me, and for the job you describe. In fact, I just used them last week to play through an old Boss PlayBus headphone amph while the family was staying at a hotel for our SLC lights viewing, holiday shopping trip, and everyone had gone to bed but me. Have fun with it!

[piebaldpython]

My girls are pretty understanding when it comes to me going to the gym and/or noodling on my gits...my two main activities for decompressing.

As to headphones, I bought a pair of Sennheisers for $25-30 thru www.zzounds.com a while ago. Pretty decent headphones that I use with my Behringer GM110 analog amp or my Digitech RP150.

[marnold]

Ah, the antici..........pation!
Better do the Time Warp in the meanwhilst.

[Eric]

Sidenote: I need to find some decent headphones I can use with an amp. I'm not looking to spend over $50. Suggestions?

-Sean
I had the same question some time ago, and I found an old thread where people seemed to recommend Behringer HPS3000, Behringer HPM1000 (not sure what the difference is between those two), Sennheiser HD201, Sony MDR-V150, or some Sony ones that cost a bit more (~$100).

I ended up getting the Sennheiser HD201 for now, and while I'm no headphone expert, they work well for me. They have the skinny 1/8" headphone cable, but if that doesn't bother you, I imagine they'd get the job done. I think they were $22 with shipping.

[Commodore 64]

How bout a Shecter? http://salem.craigslist.org/msg/1498378336.html

Hehe, I'm just trying to enable you some more. I'm totally addicted to Craig's List. So far I've gotten 3 amps and 2 guitars on CL.

[Ch0jin]

....
I ended up getting the Sennheiser HD201 for now, and while I'm no headphone expert, they work well for me.....

+1 on those. I've had a pair for over a year and I use them with my pocket POD. Perfect.

[FrankenFretter]

How bout a Shecter? http://salem.craigslist.org/msg/1498378336.html

Hehe, I'm just trying to enable you some more. I'm totally addicted to Craig's List. So far I've gotten 3 amps and 2 guitars on CL.

My own Schecter is my hands-down favorite of my guitars. Tempting...

[otaypanky]

I started playing when I was 10. Next week I'll be 57. There were lots of periods throughout my life when I wasn't able to devote the time to guitar that I wished I could. But although your guitar may become more valuable over time, or season and sound better, it will never change as much or as fast as that 8 year old. Things will change and you will get your time. But for now it sounds like you have other priorities that can't be kept in a case in a closet. They come first ~ Speaking with your fiance about it was a real good idea, as is your plan for setting aside a little time for lessons.
I'm fortunate now that I get lots of time to play, often several hours a day. But on days when I don't, I sometimes head down to my music room after my wife is asleep. Instead of using an amp with a headpone out, I use my 'puter with a recording program.
But as much as my music and my guitar are a huge part of my life, if I was on my deathbed and an angel came and said I could have one more day, - would I like to go play my guitar or spend the day with my wife ?
That's a no brainer

[FrankenFretter]

I started playing when I was 10. Next week I'll be 57. There were lots of periods throughout my life when I wasn't able to devote the time to guitar that I wished I could. But although your guitar may become more valuable over time, or season and sound better, it will never change as much or as fast as that 8 year old. Things will change and you will get your time. But for now it sounds like you have other priorities that can't be kept in a case in a closet. They come first ~ Speaking with your fiance about it was a real good idea, as is your plan for setting aside a little time for lessons.
I'm fortunate now that I get lots of time to play, often several hours a day. But on days when I don't, I sometimes head down to my music room after my wife is asleep. Instead of using an amp with a headpone out, I use my 'puter with a recording program.
But as much as my music and my guitar are a huge part of my life, if I was on my deathbed and an angel came and said I could have one more day, - would I like to go play my guitar or spend the day with my wife ?
That's a no brainer

Very well spoken. I agree, family time takes top priority. Ten years from now, when the kid is away at college (hopefully), I'll probably have more free time than I know what to do with. I figure taking 20-45 minutes four or five days a week is a good compromise for now.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, OP.

[gump]

3-4 nights a week I tell wifey and the kids I'm going down to the basement to practice-they can come with me and listen, or stay upstairs and do whatever they want until I'm done. It's only an hour or so, but it makes all the difference in the world...Especially after a lousy day.

[FrankenFretter]

3-4 nights a week I tell wifey and the kids I'm going down to the basement to practice-they can come with me and listen, or stay upstairs and do whatever they want until I'm done. It's only an hour or so, but it makes all the difference in the world...Especially after a lousy day.

Had one of those myself today. Maybe a bit of time on the ol' six string twangers will make me feel better.

[Commodore 64]

Had one of those myself today. Maybe a bit of time on the ol' six string twangers will make me feel better.

Heh, I attempted that last night too. Did some work with Mark Wein's Phrasing lesson. It ended up making me insanely frustrated. I'm guitarded.

I'm really having trouble with online lessons, I think I need a face to face teacher.

[Brian Krashpad]

Sean, talking to the boss lady and getting lessons were both good ideas.

For me, I've found I literally have to get out of the house to play guitar. We don't have a basement or other suitable man-cave I can retreat to, as our house is full to overflowing with stuff. As a result, I volunteer for the praise band at church. This gets me out of the house for an hour or two for practice on Saturdays, and an extra hour (pre-service run-through) on Sundays. Also, I helped teach my daughter bass (she really taught herself with some help from me), and she recently went from being the praise band sub bassist to the fulltime bassist, so now the me-time is also family time! Also the extra pre-service hour on Sundays is doubly excusable because my son is in confirmation classes and "strongly encouraged" to attend Sunday school between services, so somebody would have to drive him to church anyhow.

Similarly, in addition to praise band, I'm in a batch of original-music bands. We don't gig every week or anything, but practices for those get me out of the house as well. If you're not ready for an actual gigging band, you could still get together with friends for jams at different people's houses, and invite any family members who might want to, to come along and listen.

It sounds like the lessons thing could be your me-time, analogous to the band practices I go to.

[Eric]

Similarly, in addition to praise band, I'm in a batch of original-music bands. We don't gig every week or anything, but practices for those get me out of the house as well. If you're not ready for an actual gigging band, you could still get together with friends for jams at different people's houses, and invite any family members who might want to, to come along and listen.

It sounds like the lessons thing could be your me-time, analogous to the band practices I go to.
You are really dead-on with this. I wish I had discovered the benefit of playing with others years ago.

[Brian Krashpad]

You are really dead-on with this. I wish I had discovered the benefit of playing with others years ago.

It really has all kinds of benefits in addition to being a lot more funnerer.

Your learning curve shortens, you learn dynamics and to leave space, how to swing a rhythm, keep your fills to in between the vocal lines, how to give and take visual cues, the list is endless. Some of those things are nigh on impossible to learn by solo practicing.

[FrankenFretter]

It really has all kinds of benefits in addition to being a lot more funnerer.

Your learning curve shortens, you learn dynamics and to leave space, how to swing a rhythm, keep your fills to in between the vocal lines, how to give and take visual cues, the list is endless. Some of those things are nigh on impossible to learn by solo practicing.

Did you know that "funner" was added to Webster's dictionary? I hate it when the lowest common denominator wins. I'm trying to popularize the word "worser" enough so that Webster's has to add that one as well.

Yeah, Brian, I hear you on that one. Some of my best times in the last year have been playing with friends, either when I'm up in Washington state visiting, or when they come south. Unfortunately, I don't have enough space and too many neighbors for me to have an actual band practice at my place, but I'm trying to figure out something. I know a bass player and a plethora of other guitarists. I miss the band practices of years gone by (think hair-metal. It was the 80s). Playing with others makes you a better player, much like mountain biking with others makes you a better rider. I'm probably unfit to make that analogy anymore, since I am...unfit...and don't ride my bikes more than a few times a year. But I digress... Thanks for your input, Brian.

-Sean

[Brian Krashpad]

Did you know that "funner" was added to Webster's dictionary? I hate it when the lowest common denominator wins. I'm trying to popularize the word "worser" enough so that Webster's has to add that one as well.


Oh my land! Srsly?

Dayum.

I used to teach Legal Writing in law school, and my wife is an English teacher and has been an adjunct English/Education professor (teaching future teachers of "English as a Second Language") so I know where you're coming from.

My own favorite coined term I'm working on getting acceptance for is "bosstastic." But that's just me. Hey, it's no worser than any other word.

[sunvalleylaw]

The nuns used to make me diagram sentences until my fingers would bleed. Actually, I loved diagramming sentences though. I enjoyed the logic of it. I do not care for the so called "modernizing" of the English language insofar as it includes putting slang, or worse, simply incorrect English in the dictionary. "Funner" is not slang in the same sense as using a term like "defrag" which is descriptive of something that is new. "Funner" is simply incorrect.


I have a pet peeve regarding incorrect use of contractions, like writing "your" when the person means "you're". Grrr.

[Eric]

I'm with you on prescriptive vs. descriptive (Eats Shoots and Leaves is one of my favorite books), but someone did once point out to me that if that held up universally, we would still be using old English and adding Es to the end of all of our words. Funny to think about, isn't it?

I think that, even if everybody had a common language, it would probably diverge within a couple of weeks. People like that feeling of exclusivity, and invented words and linguistic detours fill that need.

I suppose the thing that gets me is the uncontrolled nature of the whole thing; abuse turns into correct usage. What's the name of that French governing body to control proper usage of grammar?

[Brian Krashpad]

I'm with you on prescriptive vs. descriptive (Eats Shoots and Leaves is one of my favorite books), but someone did once point out to me that if that held up universally, we would still be using old English and adding Es to the end of all of our words. Funny to think about, isn't it?

I think that, even if everybody had a common language, it would probably diverge within a couple of weeks. People like that feeling of exclusivity, and invented words and linguistic detours fill that need.

I suppose the thing that gets me is the uncontrolled nature of the whole thing; abuse turns into correct usage. What's the name of that French governing body to control proper usage of grammar?

L'Academie Francaise!

Yeah, the cool thing about English is its adaptability. There are rules, but once everybody decides to ignore 'em, they're outta here. I think that's a great thing. (Anarchy, baby!) But the transition can be rough,

[otaypanky]

You are really dead-on with this. I wish I had discovered the benefit of playing with others years ago.

As my long time friend used to say, 'lots of guys learn how to play an instrument, but learning how to play with other people is a whole different skill'. I think he's right, and that's what takes you to the next level.



Also, I helped teach my daughter bass (she really taught herself with some help from me), and she recently went from being the praise band sub bassist to the fulltime bassist, so now the me-time is also family time!

Now that's cool !

[deeaa]

L'Academie Francaise!

Yeah, the cool thing about English is its adaptability. There are rules, but once everybody decides to ignore 'em, they're outta here. I think that's a great thing. (Anarchy, baby!) But the transition can be rough,

I always like to incorporate 'new' Finnish words in my speech. It's also a common trait of people from my area to twist words, or use words that aren't really words, and still people understand what we mean. You know, things like - impossible to translate of course, but say things like 'gimme that screemering' when we're talking about a loudspeaker, or 'I got a splart of water on me' meaning a special kind of splash that occurs when tap water hits a curved object in the basin; or describe someone looking 'nopeful' meaning that someone is looking simultaneously relieved yet worried (i.e. He looked behind into the toilet with a nopeful look his face :-)

Language variation & change is a nice thing, but I do resent changes that simplify the grammar 'too much' to my liking, usually following English grammar. Like in my lifetime I've noticed the possessive suffixes have pretty much vanished from Finnish following english, meaning when you used to say 'My car' as : 'Autoni', you now say 'minun auto', i.e. changed the (ni) suffix into a possessive pronoun like in english.

And also I've noticed some young people are starting to use the English indefinite article in their speech, and even overuse it - articles are not used in Finnish at all, plural forms are different from singular so articles are not needed - but they use it by entering the word 'one' instead of 'a' or 'an'. i.e. there was one man in this one park and he had this one computer with him...

Anyway, my language teacher side kicked in I guess...:-)

[Brian Krashpad]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Krashpad
Also, I helped teach my daughter bass (she really taught herself with some help from me), and she recently went from being the praise band sub bassist to the fulltime bassist, so now the me-time is also family time!



Now that's cool !

Man, that kid is fearless. No way I would have had the guts as a novice player at 16 to play in front of 200-300 people, much less on a regular basis. She lucked out because our regular bassist decided that she'd rather play acoustic than bass, so our praise band leader asked my daughter to play full-time instead of just as a sub.

She has a performance history that I didn't have as a kid though. She's been in several adult community theatre productions, while she was in elementary school and middle school, including as one of the orphans in "Annie" (even though she has no formal individualized singing training), and a role in "A Midsummer's Night's Dream."

I promised my son if he learned to play guitar, he would have his choice of one of a couple of my cheaper guitars, but I have a lot fewer basses, so Hannah learned on mine and got one of her own for her 16th birthday, this Peavey USA Foundation:

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs170.snc1/6380_1213490177316_1230650648_629340_517124_n.jpg

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs170.snc1/6380_1213490217317_1230650648_629341_5133723_n.jpg

[deeaa]

Yeah, I told my older son (only 5 and not yet showing any music interests) that if he ever learns to play the guitar he can take his pick and have any of my guitars, except the Davette, my main axe, which he can only have when he's a better player than daddy is and can really appreciate it :-)

[Brian Krashpad]

Yeah, I told my older son (only 5 and not yet showing any music interests) that if he ever learns to play the guitar he can take his pick and have any of my guitars, except the Davette, my main axe, which he can only have when he's a better player than daddy is and can really appreciate it :-)

My dad did something similar with me and my siblings-- anyone who learned to play could have the instrument they learned. I still have the acoustic I learned guitar on, and a banjo that was also his. So I felt like that was a family tradition I should carry on.

[FrankenFretter]

That's so cool that you guys have kids that are into music, and musicianship. My fiancee's daughter, Matilda, has expressed some interest in learning guitar, albeit at random times, and not terribly often. I bought her an inexpensive child-size acoustic, but she was having so much trouble with the strings hurting her fingers that she more or less gave up. She's a sensitive kid, and cries over almost anything, so I have to let her come back to it in her own time. I did change the strings to nylon, which should help once she's ready. I'm not a great teacher, I don't have the patience it takes to teach younger kids. When she gets frustrated, I get frustrated, and that vicious cycle makes for very short lessons. It may be worth it just to get her lessons, at least to start with. Part of me wants her to hurry up and learn, so that I can get her an electric. Selfish, I know.

Any tips on teaching kids? Maybe I should start a separate thread for that one...

[Brian Krashpad]

That's so cool that you guys have kids that are into music, and musicianship. My fiancee's daughter, Matilda, has expressed some interest in learning guitar, albeit at random times, and not terribly often. I bought her an inexpensive child-size acoustic, but she was having so much trouble with the strings hurting her fingers that she more or less gave up. She's a sensitive kid, and cries over almost anything, so I have to let her come back to it in her own time. I did change the strings to nylon, which should help once she's ready. I'm not a great teacher, I don't have the patience it takes to teach younger kids. When she gets frustrated, I get frustrated, and that vicious cycle makes for very short lessons. It may be worth it just to get her lessons, at least to start with. Part of me wants her to hurry up and learn, so that I can get her an electric. Selfish, I know.

Any tips on teaching kids? Maybe I should start a separate thread for that one...


The only thing I'd say is go slow. Right now my son is sort of at a standstill. I can wait. I've given him some chord diagrams that show chords in a given key and how to play them, but he's not practicing. When he asks for help I'll give it to him. We really can't afford music lessons from a teacher, so he will have to take the initiative to at least ask, when he wants and has the time to be helped. If I try to impose a strict schedule on him, it'll make it into work instead of fun. If he gets more serious about it later and wants to set a certain time for me to help him, that'll be fine too, but if that comes from me it could hurt more than help.

My daughter is a little older, plus more self-motivated. I wrote down some scales for her, and showed her how to figure out where a note is on the fretboard. She went online and found tab, and with only a little help from me began looking up songs she likes and learning the tab bass lines to them. I did teach her the bass line to one song, CCR's "Down on the Corner," because it's a song with a memorable bass line that's doubled by the guitar, and is illustrative of the bass following the melody rather than merely echoing the roots of the chords. Now she's "learning by doing" with the praise band at church, which will give her a lot more than any coaching from me could.

[sunvalleylaw]

I'm with you on prescriptive vs. descriptive (Eats Shoots and Leaves is one of my favorite books), but someone did once point out to me that if that held up universally, we would still be using old English and adding Es to the end of all of our words. Funny to think about, isn't it?

I think that, even if everybody had a common language, it would probably diverge within a couple of weeks. People like that feeling of exclusivity, and invented words and linguistic detours fill that need.

I suppose the thing that gets me is the uncontrolled nature of the whole thing; abuse turns into correct usage. What's the name of that French governing body to control proper usage of grammar?

I agree that English will keep moving forward. As I wrote down my thoughts above, I remembered "Olde English" and the Shakespeare I read in old english as required by my teacher. Obviously things evolve. What I do not like are the evolutions that take away from the ability of English to describe or otherwise give meaning to the reader. "Your" means something different from "you're". I was always told not to use the term "got", but it has become part of the language and allows people to express themselves. That one can stay. "Funner" vs. "more fun" is a tougher question. The change does not add anything to the language, but arguably it does not subtract. The terms are interchangeable. One is just considered correct and one is not. I suppose the lowest common denominator will win. I do feel, however, that the more correct terms should be taught. It is more elegant and expressive in my view. That view was shaped by nuns, Jesuits, and the technical and precise language of law school though. :pancake

[Eric]

I agree that English will keep moving forward. As I wrote down my thoughts above, I remembered "Olde English" and the Shakespeare I read in old english as required by my teacher. Obviously things evolve. What I do not like are the evolutions that take away from the ability of English to describe or otherwise give meaning to the reader. "Your" means something different from "you're". I was always told not to use the term "got", but it has become part of the language and allows people to express themselves. That one can stay. "Funner" vs. "more fun" is a tougher question. The change does not add anything to the language, but arguably it does not subtract. The terms are interchangeable. One is just considered correct and one is not. I suppose the lowest common denominator will win. I do feel, however, that the more correct terms should be taught. It is more elegant and expressive in my view. That view was shaped by nuns, Jesuits, and the technical and precise language of law school though. :pancake

I had a public-school education, but just latched on to grammar as a backlash against fellow engineering students who did not value spelling, grammar, or punctuation.

I've mellowed out a lot. I used to be considerably more anal (analer??), but came to realize that nobody really cared or liked it when I was that way. These days I just try to write as well as possible.

Because of the continual mellowing process, I now only get really fired up when grammar is so bad that it actually hinders the communication (i.e. makes it difficult to ascertain what the writer is trying to say). Do I form an opinion if someone can't get your/you're right? Maybe, but I usually understand what the person is trying to say.

I notice that I'm being extra extra careful while writing this. Too funny.

[sunvalleylaw]

I notice that I'm being extra extra careful while writing this. Too funny.


LOL!! I noticed I was doing the same thing. I kept going back and breaking up run-on sentences. I hear you about mellowing out on it. Things like using "your" when the person means "you're" still bug me, because I think it is pure sloth to use the terms incorrectly. But I would never say anything to an adult. I do correct my kids though. I am sure they LOVE that! :thwap :pancake

[FrankenFretter]

I had a public-school education, but just latched on to grammar as a backlash against fellow engineering students who did not value spelling, grammar, or punctuation.

I've mellowed out a lot. I used to be considerably more anal (analer??), but came to realize that nobody really cared or liked it when I was that way. These days I just try to write as well as possible.

Because of the continual mellowing process, I now only get really fired up when grammar is so bad that it actually hinders the communication (i.e. makes it difficult to ascertain what the writer is trying to say). Do I form an opinion if someone can't get your/you're right? Maybe, but I usually understand what the person is trying to say.

I notice that I'm being extra extra careful while writing this. Too funny.

The older I get, the less patience and tolerance I have for certain things. It infuriates me to see misspellings in ads, on signs, in magazines. I almost wrote a sternly-worded letter to Guitar Player Magazine (or maybe it was Guitar World. They're almost the same magazine, and I don't know why I subscribe to both) because of all the errors I found within about 10 minutes of opening the front cover.

I have noticed that since I write fairly infrequently that my spelling and grammar has become less than perfect. I sometimes have to look up simple words, because I'm unsure. Age and lack of use. It's true, use it or lose it.

I know this thread has digressed quite a bit, but frankly I'm enjoying the digression. I haven't had a good rant in quite a while. I used to use my MySpace blog for that purpose, but I don't even log in to that anymore. No time, and to be honest, not much interest anymore.

And now, back to you...

[NWBasser]

I was kind of wondering what happened to the original topic....


Sean, you may want to advise your neighbors that there may be a bit of electric bass around the area next month.:what

[FrankenFretter]

I was kind of wondering what happened to the original topic....


Sean, you may want to advise your neighbors that there may be a bit of electric bass around the area next month.:what

Hmmm...either I'm getting a new bass for Xmess, or you're in the doghouse for something. Are we getting a new roommate?